Guy Talk And The Business Women
Women managers, women business owners and other business women
must sometimes contend with unenlightened behavior and attitudes
from male colleagues.
You can either choose to get your dander up each time, which
induces stress and health issues that hurt you (not the guy) or
figure out how to deal effectively with it.
Business Communication That Excludes
Women in business sometimes find themselves in the situation
where the conversation turns to subjects that exclude her, such
as sports, hunting, etc. Now, while not all business women will
feel excluded from some or any of these subjects, there are
certainly times when they do get excluded in male-dominated
conversations.
What choices do you have in these situations? Clearly, it
depends on the situation. If you are traveling with colleagues
and they get into a big conversation about Tiger Woods and you
couldn't care less, fine, zone out and re-enter the conversation
when it's more interesting to you.
However, if the conversation is taking place over dinner at a
restaurant with clients and you want to be sure that the clients
bond with you as well, you will need to make different choices.
For one, ask your golf-loving colleagues to steer clear of
eighteenth hole stories. But, be prepared for an alternative
strategy, especially if your client is also a big Tiger Woods
fan. The business woman's most useful tools in this situation
are USA Today and The Wall Street Journal. Review
them before dinner with your client. Then, you will be prepared
to make a sports-related comment, draw the client's attention to
you, allow him or her to expand, then change the subject. This
strategy allows you to enter the conversation rather than being
excluded then re-direct.
Business Communication that Offends
Even in the face of discrimination laws and potential lawsuits
for inappropriate conduct and language, some people persist in
making offensive jokes or prejudicial comments. Women business
owners can also find this difficult to handle because they are
afraid of losing the prospect or client.
But all women in business are in an excellent position to
improve the business environment by taking positive action when
faced with an offensive situation.
If you are present at a business meeting when someone makes
offensive or prejudicial comments, just do this. Say, in a
matter-of-fact but non-judgmental manner, "Hey, folks, we all
know this line of conversation
isn't appropriate and has nothing
to do with the business at hand so let's move on." Then proceed
on some point with the discussion at hand by drawing other
people into the conversation. You have taken several actions at
the same time.
* You have established that the comments are not tolerated.
* By using, "we", you have included everyone in your statement.
* You have redirected the discussion and taken the spotlight off
the offensive remarks(s), giving everyone an easy opportunity to
move on.
* You have warned the offender without subjecting him or her to
overt criticism or discomfort.
Although it may take courage, any business woman can use this
strategy, whether she is leading the meeting or simply
participating. Most people will be grateful that someone has the
grace and style to handle the situation so well.
Realize some people are just plain ignorant
When men make remarks that are offensive or get off on
conversations that have nothing to do with business, realize
it's their problem, not yours.
The kind of people that women in business want to deal with are
the smart, enlightened ones. But not every male colleague,
prospect or client is smart and enlightened. You getting upset
about it is not going to change that.
The best way to handle dumb remarks is realize they are what
they are and move on. Unless the guy is specifically trying to
get your goat (which does happen sometimes) you have no real
need to pay any attention to him.
If he is trying to stir you up, you can simply look calmly at
him and say "Please stop. You are making yourself look foolish
and wasting our time when we could be figuring out a way to
....(whatever you're trying to do)" and then move quickly to
discussing the topic at hand. He'll most likely begin to feel
like a fool and back off.
You can take control of the situation. Either choose to ignore
them, calmly call them on it and move on or fire them. You'll
find your life is more stress free and more productive when you
become the person with the real power.
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About the author:
Roxanne is managing partner of
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