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Rapport vs. Compliance: How to Get A Completely Compliant Prospect
There is a lot of talk in the persuasion and NLP community about
rapport and how to gain it.
Yes, it is absolutely true what they say that "With rapport
anything is possible and without it nothing is possible." Plenty
of trainers have dedicated a LOT of seminar time to rapport
building exercises like mirroring and matching.
That said, I want to go up a level and talk about what we are
really wanting to achieve in persuasion and that is compliance.
Face it, if you are in a persuasion setting and have an outcome
for someone, what you want them to be is COMPLIANT to your
outcome. If you don't agree with that then LEAVE THIS PAGE NOW
because it's a simple fact that a lot of "white lighters" would
rather not face.
It is possible to have compliance without rapport and many have
achieved that by threats, guilt, shame, guns to heads, and other
less-than-positive behaviors but there are a more pleasant ways
to gain compliance.
Ways to create compliance:
* Assume authority By presenting yourself as the authority in
what you know and what you are doing people will tend to treat
you accordingly.
* Ask for compliance Bet you didn't think of that. Yes, you can
do that by simply asking somehow. Example: "I'd like to ask you
to simply follow along here and give my your whole attention. No
doubt a lot of people might have something else on their minds,
so, for while I'm here would you be willing to put those things
aside for the next 5 minutes?"
* Build compliance This is a old sales trick. The salesperson
asks the prospect to sit in a different chair than the prospect
is sitting in or use one pen instead of another. The salesperson
then acknowledges the prospect each time he complies. One famous
lecturer would frame success in his training as requiring a need
for 'discipline' and, under that pretense, ask the audience to
discipline themselves to stand up from their chair, turn around
and sit down every time he snapped his fingers. After snapping
he fingers every ten minutes during his 2 hour presentation he
built a
very compliant audience.
In the area of successful dating for men someone came up with
the concept of the "mini-date" where the man would expose his
date to several different environments in one date. This could
include meeting at a coffee shop then going to a costume store
to try on costumes and followed by a walk through an antique
store or some unique part of town. All very cheap and creates an
experience where the woman yields to the experience that the man
creates, subtly creating compliance.
(I'd love to hear of any womans use of this technique.)
Now the same can also be applied in order to build rapport.
* Assume rapport Present yourself as already being in rapport
with your prospect.
* Ask for rapport Not difficult. It could sound something like
this "Bob, I'm going to assume that I can feel comfortable
talking with you today, like we're old friends talking business.
For while we're here would you be willing to work from that same
assumption?"
* Build rapport Learn rapport skills and USE THEM!
Now the difference between rapport and compliance is that, as a
general rule, rapport is designed to effect the unconscious
behaviors and compliance directs the conscious behaviors.
There have been some very effective persuaders and therapists
who have relied solely on compliance, even to the point of
breaking rapport, and still gotten good results. My advice USE
EVERYTHING to get your outcome.
What internal quality does it take to build strong compliance?
The best quality is a fearless belief that what you are doing.
Or, as they explained in the movie "Glengarry Glen Ross", a set
of brass balls.
Good luck.
JK Ellis
PS There are a lot of very sneaky covert ways to get compliance
with people. To find out more go to
http://www.MindControl101.com/black-ops-hypnosis.html
About the author:
JK Ellis is writer and researcher on the topic of mind control
and its possible beneficial uses. His writting can be found at
http://mindcontrol101.blogspot.com
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