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MANAGING YOUR PERSISTENT FEARS AND ANXIETIES
Everybody deals with fear and anxiety, however some people have a
hard time in managing it. As a result, here is a brief list of
techniques that a person can use to help manage their most
persistent fears and anxieties.
When facing a...
Review: Filling the Glass
Reviewed By Philip Abelard
booksforbusiness@yahoo.com
Filling the Glass: The Skeptic's Guide to Positive Thinking in Business by Barry Maher (Dearborn Trade Publishing, $19.95)
Rating: $$$$$
Businesses often seem more concerned with the...
Sex or Gender
Alan Pease, author of a book titled "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps", believes that women are spatially-challenged compared to men. The British firm, Admiral Insurance, conducted a study of half a million claims. They found that...
What is your PROBLEM? There Must Be 50 Ways to…”
“What is your problem?” Have you ever gotten exasperated and asked someone that in “that” tone of voice?
Mary: “I want to move near my grandchildren, but how on earth will I move myself up there alone?”
You: “Just call a moving company. What is...
When Traveling Abroad, Use Your EQ
What do you do when you don’t know the language or customs? That’s when your EQ, or Emotional Intelligence, comes in handy.
On my recent tour to Russia, the people in large cities (Moscow, Saint Petersburg) knew English, but not in the small...
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8 Keys to Lasting Love
Copyright 2005 Dr. Linda Miles Ph.D.
My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, was the inspiration for this CD, 8 Keys to Lasting Love . When Merritt was five years old I read a fairy tale to her and was very disturbed by the ending, "And they lived happily ever after." As she could not read yet, I took the liberty of changing the ending to "They began the work of creating a very good marriage." I didn't want Merritt to think that marriage was so simple or that it just happened that you lived happily every after, as so many of my clients believed. As a marriage and family therapist for thirty years, I have seen the pain people experience on their honeymoon when they wake up and realize they have married a mere mortal. In creating this CD, it is my hope that my granddaughter Merritt, as she enters adulthood, as well as many other people, will avoid the pitfalls and pain of those who succumb to this "happily ever after" myth.
* Stop blaming and start living. It is your responsibility, and not your partner's, to feel better and to heal. Your partner will be responsible to you, but not for you. So it's useful to ask yourself, "Why did I draw this person into my life and what is it that I need to learn from this instead of blaming?" A good marriage grows you up.
* Avoid the fixer-upper syndrome. We think we can fix up our partner and shape them up to perfection, our perfection. So many people marry for potential. Never marry just for potential.
* Made a promise to keep integrity. Do not hold onto victim hood like a prize. This doesn't allow one to grow. Work on behaviors that make your partner want to change by being kind and loving. Vent what you are feeling without being out of control.
* Eliminate attack thoughts. These thoughts are incredibly destructive over time. If you attack other people and attack yourself
and your thoughts, it really interferes with your happiness and with your peace of mind. Learn to find joy even in difficult times. As Mother Theresa once said, "Our best protection is a joyful heart."
* Do not hold onto anger. Holding onto anger is like drinking Drano. Turn attack thoughts into something constructive. Think thoughts that are appreciative of your partner and express them often. Build up an emotional bank account so you have positive emotion currency when angry times come.
* Wake up without makeup. On soap operas I see women wake up first thing in the morning with all their makeup and false eyelashes, and that's not real. What we need to do in a marriage is to learn to be more and more real, and more and more safe to be who we truly are.
* Wake up and make up. It is very important for couples to learn to repair after a fight. Keep trying to find solutions. Do not get stuck rehashing the past. Live in the present, and find ways to keep your marriage buoyant and alive.
* If you want to change your relationship, change yourself. Reinvent yourself, because you're not going to be able to change your partner. Learn to love in a mature way without trying to control or manipulate. C.S. Lewis once said, "To love without control or manipulation is to be surprised by joy." You will be truly surprised by joy when you can live in the moment with that other person.
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Dr. Linda Miles has a doctorate in Counseling Psychology and over thirty years of experience in the field of mental health. She has appeared as an expert on numerous radio and television shows, and along with her husband has written an award-winning book about relationships. For her other books and recordings, please visit www.drlindamiles.com.
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| The Australian Psychological Society (APS) is the largest professional association for psychologists in Australia, representing around 15000 members. |
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| This is a comprehensive site of psychology resources including hundeds of categories. ... Includes links to sites on specific social psychology topics, ... |
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| The mental health disorders search engine of the American Psychological Association. Type a search request and click the "Get Results" button for a fully ... |
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