|
|
|
Find Your Soulmate
Soulmate. Once upon a time we wondered if we were ever going to meet our own. We ask if the one we are with right now is the one truly meant for us. There are just too many stories about people finding “the one”, their “match”, their “twin soul”,...
Questions for the Game of Life
“If you could eliminate one day from your past so that you never had to live through it, what day would you erase?”
“If you could ask a single question of a dead relative, what would it be and of whom would you ask it?”
These questions...
Special Report: What Do IQ Tests and the SAT Measure, and Where Does EQ Fit In?
I was telling a therapist the other day about someone’s score on the SAT. “Oh,” he said, waving his hand in dismissal, “THAT thing. It doesn’t measure a THING.”
Let’s set the record state. What he meant was – (1) It doesn’t measure anything he...
To Love Forever
Some time ago we were leading a college seminar for sexually sophisticated, exuberant and articulate young couples from a local church when James, one of the husbands, said: Nancy and I have long since learned how to insert Tab A into Slot B, so we...
What is your PROBLEM? There Must Be 50 Ways to…”
“What is your problem?” Have you ever gotten exasperated and asked someone that in “that” tone of voice?
Mary: “I want to move near my grandchildren, but how on earth will I move myself up there alone?”
You: “Just call a moving company. What is...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You're Staying Married Only For Your Children"
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce.
As a parent, you should know your children better than anyone...use your best judgment with your children during considering divorce. This "divorce and children" article is for parents who are certain that they would get a divorce if they didn't have children and want to decide what to think about regarding the effects a divorce would have on their children.
In *Dr. Robert Emery's book, "The Truth About Children And Divorce", he explains that children of divorced parents can actually live wonderful lives as long as the parents use proper judgment and create the right types of interactions between themselves and with each other.
*Dr. Emery is a divorce mediation expert and is a Professor of Psychology. Dr. Emery serves as the Director of the Center for Children, Families, and The Law for the Department of Psychology at the University of Virginia.
This article on this web page does not suggest that divorce is the correct course of action for you and it in no way should be taken as a form of counseling to you. This article is merely to spark you to think logically and then make your own decision about divorce and your children.
As previously stated, every child is different and subsequently, every child responds to divorce in a different way.
If you think there's a definitive answer about how divorce affects children, you are mistaken. There's been hundreds of books written about this subject and a plethora of studies done regarding divorce and children, all citing differing opinions and using different statistical constraints and inputs. But, statistics can only go so far...if you know your children better than anyone else, you will know best how they'll be affected by a divorce.
How divorce affects children and what you should do if you're staying married solely because you have children is complicated issue.
Here's some things you may want to consider if you're a parent who is staying married just because you have children:
Children and divorce consideration 1: Make sure that you are, in fact, only staying married just because you have children.
Often times people use the children as an excuse not to get a divorce because they aren't really sure that they want a divorce or have some other fear regarding divorce. Those fears can be present due to finance, self-confidence, living arrangements, or other personal issues.
Before you really take the next steps in deciding whether or not to get a divorce because of your children, rank your reasons for divorce and make sure that you're really certain you'd get a divorce if you didn't have children.
Children and divorce consideration 2: Make sure 'guilt' isn't the real reason that you aren't getting a divorce.
The
'guilt' referenced above is the guilt brought on by thinking that your divorce will hurt your children. In and of itself, this feeling of guilt is a selfish one if you haven't really examined carefully if a divorce will have an adverse effect on your children. If you aren't getting divorced because of guilt in this regard, but you still have an unhappy marriage that is affecting your children, then you aren't really staying married for them, you're staying married for you because you feel guilty...this is selfish.
Children and divorce consideration 3: Once you've clearly defined that you are in fact, not getting a divorce solely because you have children, examine why you think divorce will adversely affect your children.
Remember, divorce can have a negative effect on children initially, but that doesn't necessarily mean that a divorce will be a negative influence on your children forever.
Decide whether or not your children have the resiliency, the intelligence, the emotional health, and the support they'd need to mitigate the adverse effects that a divorce would have on them. Will they be happy after the initial shock of the divorce is worked through?
Children and divorce consideration 4: Once you've really defined what you believe to be negative effects on your children due to divorce, think about what your children's life will be like in the immediate and distant future if you do actually go through with the divorce.
Ask yourself, "Can I create and maintain a healthy environment for my children if I do get a divorce?"
One thing that is a critical factor in this decision is the feasibility of you and your spouse getting a divorce amicably. If you and your spouse can go through a divorce amicably, and you both can agree to always put your children's welfare above your own, you will be one step ahead.
Again, make sure you are certain a divorce is necessary to create the right type of environment for your children. Assure that there is absolutely no way you can rekindle your marriage.
Usually, divorce represents the first real trauma of a child's life. Keep this in mind when your making your divorce decision. Divorce is a serious step and nothing should be done until your're certain that divorce is the best course of action. Getting a divorce without making sure that divorce is the right thing is selfish on your part and is the wrong thing to do to your children...after all, they deserve your best effort!
One thing should remain constant...that you and your spouse will always be there for your children, no matter what.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Author of "A Practical Guide To
Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A
Divorce", the eBook recommended by
counselors to thier clients.
Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide!
Deciding on Divorce
Children and Divorce
|
|
|
|
|
| Encyclopedia of Psychology - Psychology Websites |
| A hierarchical database of links to psychology resources. |
| www.psychology.org |
|
| Psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Psychology differs from the other social sciences — anthropology, economics, ... Health psychology is the application of psychological theory and research ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| American Psychological Association |
| Monitor on Psychology · gradPSYCH Magazine · PsycPORT News Wire ... APA Monitor on Psychology. psychology news. More news from PsycPORT ... |
| www.apa.org |
|
| Psychology.Com |
| Psychology.com provides online counseling from your choice of therapists. From depression to anxiety, relationships to parenting, we can help you work ... |
| www.psychology.com |
|
| psychology virtual library |
| from the site of the Psychology World Wide Web Virtual Library at. http://www.dialogical.net/psychology/index.html/. If you are not redirected automatically ... |
| www.clas.ufl.edu |
|
| Intute: Social Sciences - Psychology |
| Searchable database of Internet resources that have been reviewed, described, and categorized by area. Includes organizations, reference materials, ... |
| www.intute.ac.uk |
|
| Psychology Today: Find a Therapist and News to Use |
| The Therapy Directory and News to Use at Psychology Today: Find a Therapist, Psychologist, Psychiatrist and Counselor, Test Yourself and Read Articles on ... |
| www.psychologytoday.com |
|
| Social Science > Psychology in the Yahoo! Directory |
| Find sites dealing with branches, organizations, psychologists, research, intelligence, and general information about psychology. |
| dir.yahoo.com |
|
| Social Psychology Network |
| Thousands of searchable psychology links on a huge variety of topics. Definitely worth a visit! |
| www.socialpsychology.org |
|
| Psychology and mental health at Psych Central . |
| Mental health and psychology resources - Articles, essays, blog, support forums, Ask the Therapist, chats, website reviews, frequently asked questions, ... |
| psychcentral.com |
|
| Psychology - Student Resources - Psychology Articles |
| Find psychology articles, student resources, and psychology study guides. Explore psychology definitions and theories. Learn more about the history of ... |
| psychology.about.com |
|
| Google Directory - Science > Social Sciences > Psychology |
| Science > Social Sciences > Criminology (45) Recreation > Humor > Science > Psychology (9) Kids and Teens > People and Society > Psychology (55) ... |
| www.google.com |
|
| Open Directory - Science: Social Sciences: Psychology |
| Health: Medicine: Medical Specialties: Psychiatry (141); Health: Mental Health (5469); Kids and Teens: People and Society: Psychology (53) ... |
| dmoz.org |
|
| Stanford Psychology Department |
| One specialty of the Department of Psychology is cognitive sciences, with strength in the areas of visual science, cognitive neuroscience, ... |
| www-psych.stanford.edu |
|
| The Higher Education Academy Psychology Network |
| Information about events, publications, projects and research related to the teaching of psychology; database of resources. |
| www.psychology.heacademy.ac.uk |
|
| APS Psychologist: Home |
| The Australian Psychological Society (APS) is the largest professional association for psychologists in Australia, representing around 15000 members. |
| www.psychology.org.au |
|
| Classics in the History of Psychology |
| Offers full texts of documents significant in the history of psychology by author or by topic. Includes ancient, medieval/renaissance, and modern thought; ... |
| psychclassics.yorku.ca |
|
| Psychology, Department of |
| Information about the department's areas of research, facilities and resources, academic programs, and people in the department, as well as undergraduate ... |
| www.psych.ucla.edu |
|
| Internet Public Library: Psychology |
| This is a comprehensive site of psychology resources including hundeds of categories. ... Includes links to sites on specific social psychology topics, ... |
| www.ipl.org |
|
| PsychCrawler |
| The mental health disorders search engine of the American Psychological Association. Type a search request and click the "Get Results" button for a fully ... |
| www.psychcrawler.com |
|
|