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A Trail of Tears and Broken Relationships Maybe Symptomatic of Depression
A trail of tears and many broken relationships may symptomatic of underlying depression.
A Trail of Tears and Many Broken Relationships May be Symptomatic of Underlying Depression
When a young person graduates from High School there is so...
Does A Loved One Need Anger Management Counseling?
Have you ever blown your stack by over-responding to a situation? Maybe it would be easier to ask if you know someone who hasn’t. Virtually everyone has said something in anger that they wish they could take back. After nasty words are spoken or...
The Challenge of Parenthood
"A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan)
The Transition to Parenthood
Becoming a parent is a major lifestyle change that can be very rewarding yet very stressful. Consider the...
The New Marriage - Part Four Of Four
When we are children we do not yet have an identity. We learn about who we are through the mirroring that we get from our parents. It is called mirroring to describe the ability of good parents to gently hold up an imaginary mirror in front of the...
Wny Work with a CERTIFIED Emotional Intelligence Coach?
Yes, Emotional Intelligence has been called “white hot” by the press, and you’ve probably been hearing about it lately. In fact when the Harvard Business Review published an article about Emotional Intelligence in 1998, more readers read the...
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Letting Go Of The Past -- Creating A Context for Everyday Miracles
This article reveals the benefits of lett go of and forgiving all abuses and dysfunctions of the past.
There is no more powerful pre-requisite for manifesting everyday miracles then letting go of the past.
A Course In Miracles teaches that to be born again is to let go of the past and look without condemnation on the present. Our ego, on the other hand, seeks to keep us imprisoned in the past by having us react to the present as if it were the past. In Course terminology, it regards the present only as a brief transition to the future, in which it brings the past to the future by interpreting the present in past terms. For example, one of our ego’s favorite lies is that we can’t experience a loving relationship because of the abuses and dysfunctions we suffered in the past. It convinces us that we are defined in the present by what we were deprived of in our past.
Whenever we buy into this kind of thinking we are placing our faith in an illusion. The past is gone. It exists only in a fantasy. We turn this fantasy into a reality by constantly focusing on it and projecting it out onto the world we are experiencing now. While it’s true that we may not be able to erase the influences the past has had on us, we certainly can decide whether those influences will continue to rule us in the present. To do otherwise is to say that we are completely powerless over our own lives in the here and now.
Letting go of the influences of the past occurs through forgiveness. Choosing unforgiveness always means that we are getting some benefit out of holding on to the past. For example, we may refuse to forget about the mistreatment we received from our parents because we unconsciously want to be sure they suffer today for what they did to us back then. In this way our remedial performance in life stands as a constant reminder to them of what they did to us. This only serves to hurt us not them. It squanders our life in the present moment and robs us of the joy that we can experience now. If indeed, our parents withheld proper love from us, the way to heal ourselves is not to perpetrate their misdeed by withholding love from them in the present. The way to
heal is to give them the love they need today as desperately as we do. It has been said that the problem is never what was withheld from us in the past, but rather what we ourselves are failing to give in the present.
It’s easier to let go of the past when we think of life as a classroom that presents us with lessons to learn. Our lessons always involve love and forgiveness. We are not in this world to judge other people or make sure they learn their lesson. We are here to learn our lesson and perfect ourselves. Until we learn love and forgiveness we are doomed to repeat the same scenarios in our lives over and over again.
If we insist on thinking that we’re limited by our past, in any way, we lock ourselves out of any chance of experiencing the present. To truly experience the newness of the present we must forgive the past. This includes letting go of the thought that we have been limited by our culture, the neighborhood we grew up in, or the race or religion we were born into. As the aphorism teaches, conditions don’t make a man they reveal him. If we want to get on a higher plane in life we can’t keep blaming the amorphous they for the conditions of our life. Our lives are either theirs or ours. It’s up to us to decide. When we realize we have a choice and that we can choose differently now we become masters of our own fate. Accepting total responsibility for our lives in the present moment by letting go of the past creates a context in which everyday miracles can occur.
About the Author
Loretta Siani, Ph.D. is a clinical hypnotherapist. In her private practice teaches the mind/body model and combines hypnosis, neuro-linguistic psychology, guided visualizations, aromatherapy, dream work and the principles of A Course In Miracles to assist her clients in achieving transformational changes. Dr. Siani's book, The Magic of Excellence, and her book and CD's for eliminating stress, can be purchased at http://www.atlasbooks.com/marktplc/00761.htm or from her website www.lorettasiani.com, click on "products."
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Classics in the History of Psychology |
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