Search
Related Links

 

 

Informative Articles

Christ and Culture (Part 1)
Christ and Culture Part 1 The conflict between Christ and culture is not new and neither is it rare. It is a daily occurrence as the boundaries are blurred and the culture develops. Christians have been viewed more often than not as subversive...
Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time
If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don’t need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn’t matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and...
Prayer
Prayer What has the Lord been saying to me? As I begin to write and formulate this article, I am faced with the inevitable question. What is the Lord saying to you. In answer to this question, it is easy to fall into the trap of presenting a...
Setting Up Your Office For "Health"
SETTING UP YOUR OFFICE FOR “HEALTH” By: Dr. Loretta Lanphier ND, CCN, HHP If you work and are spending one third to one half of your day in an office setting then your surroundings there are as important as those in your home. Although we...
To Hell In A Handbasket; Men Who Crash And Burn
What’s up with men? Why do we push our bodies to extremes? Why do we so often ignore our body’s signals that we’re doing too much, going too fast, trying too hard? Why do we indulge in excess, and constantly exceed our” envelope of tolerance”? A...
 
Reading Your Partner's Mind

When Ann came to see me, she was in the process of counting how many times in the past year her husband had turned on the television when she wanted to talk to him—not that she had ever told him she wanted to talk. She left him oblivious to her upset, while her resentment built at his failure to magically “know” what was on her mind.

When we are young it seems as if our caretakers magically know when we need to eat and what they must do to take care of us. Children have a family romance in which their parents are always wise and good. This is extended to the whole world via the culture of children’s stories, in which wonderful things happen to the good guys and the bad guys get their due.

The Prince comes. The slipper fits. They live happily ever after.

In adulthood this can become the expectation: that our partners should always know what we need without our having to tell them. When our partner fails to read our minds and to “magically” know our needs, resentment builds. We can take our partner’s “blindness” as a criticism of what we want or as a failure to do their part in the relationship. I have seen many couples who both believe that the other one knows, “just knows,” what it is they need and is withholding it for reasons of perversity or vindictiveness. This leads to a kind of passivity and watching in the relationship. We wait and wait for our partner to recognize us by doing for us the thing we feel they should know to do. We describe this, as it has often been called as,


“saving brown stamps.” Meanwhile, resentment builds and we cease to be a proper participant in the relationship.

Our belief that there is a force outside of our lives magically steering it toward love and happiness is deeply ingrained; usually it is only given up as a consequence of repeated disappointments. Even when it is, we can still become involved in trying to be the perfect person ourselves, believing that our slimness or muscularity will exercise a magical attraction on others around us. Thus women become anorexic and men spend hours at the gym. These behaviors often represent an attempt to keep our belief in magic alive.

Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D


About the Author: Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com

Source: www.isnare.com

 

Encyclopedia of Psychology - Psychology Websites
A hierarchical database of links to psychology resources.
www.psychology.org
 
Psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Psychology differs from the other social sciences — anthropology, economics, ... Health psychology is the application of psychological theory and research ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
American Psychological Association
Monitor on Psychology · gradPSYCH Magazine · PsycPORT News Wire ... APA Monitor on Psychology. psychology news. More news from PsycPORT ...
www.apa.org
 
Psychology.Com
Psychology.com provides online counseling from your choice of therapists. From depression to anxiety, relationships to parenting, we can help you work ...
www.psychology.com
 
psychology virtual library
from the site of the Psychology World Wide Web Virtual Library at. http://www.dialogical.net/psychology/index.html/. If you are not redirected automatically ...
www.clas.ufl.edu
 
Intute: Social Sciences - Psychology
Searchable database of Internet resources that have been reviewed, described, and categorized by area. Includes organizations, reference materials, ...
www.intute.ac.uk
 
Psychology Today: Find a Therapist and News to Use
The Therapy Directory and News to Use at Psychology Today: Find a Therapist, Psychologist, Psychiatrist and Counselor, Test Yourself and Read Articles on ...
www.psychologytoday.com
 
Social Science > Psychology in the Yahoo! Directory
Find sites dealing with branches, organizations, psychologists, research, intelligence, and general information about psychology.
dir.yahoo.com
 
Social Psychology Network
Thousands of searchable psychology links on a huge variety of topics. Definitely worth a visit!
www.socialpsychology.org
 
Psychology and mental health at Psych Central .
Mental health and psychology resources - Articles, essays, blog, support forums, Ask the Therapist, chats, website reviews, frequently asked questions, ...
psychcentral.com
 
Psychology - Student Resources - Psychology Articles
Find psychology articles, student resources, and psychology study guides. Explore psychology definitions and theories. Learn more about the history of ...
psychology.about.com
 
Google Directory - Science > Social Sciences > Psychology
Science > Social Sciences > Criminology (45) Recreation > Humor > Science > Psychology (9) Kids and Teens > People and Society > Psychology (55) ...
www.google.com
 
Open Directory - Science: Social Sciences: Psychology
Health: Medicine: Medical Specialties: Psychiatry (141); Health: Mental Health (5469); Kids and Teens: People and Society: Psychology (53) ...
dmoz.org
 
Stanford Psychology Department
One specialty of the Department of Psychology is cognitive sciences, with strength in the areas of visual science, cognitive neuroscience, ...
www-psych.stanford.edu
 
The Higher Education Academy Psychology Network
Information about events, publications, projects and research related to the teaching of psychology; database of resources.
www.psychology.heacademy.ac.uk
 
APS Psychologist: Home
The Australian Psychological Society (APS) is the largest professional association for psychologists in Australia, representing around 15000 members.
www.psychology.org.au
 
Classics in the History of Psychology
Offers full texts of documents significant in the history of psychology by author or by topic. Includes ancient, medieval/renaissance, and modern thought; ...
psychclassics.yorku.ca
 
Psychology, Department of
Information about the department's areas of research, facilities and resources, academic programs, and people in the department, as well as undergraduate ...
www.psych.ucla.edu
 
Internet Public Library: Psychology
This is a comprehensive site of psychology resources including hundeds of categories. ... Includes links to sites on specific social psychology topics, ...
www.ipl.org
 
PsychCrawler
The mental health disorders search engine of the American Psychological Association. Type a search request and click the "Get Results" button for a fully ...
www.psychcrawler.com
 
 

 
Content Menu
  • 10 steps to happily ever after

  • 10 things to know about silence in communication

  • 5 awesome actions of highly creative leaders

  • 7 ways to drive your daughter into the arms of an abusive man

  • 8 keys to lasting love

  • 8 steps to financially intelligent parenting

  • 8 tips for a better walk with your dog

  • 9 myths about being single

  • about emotional child abuse and neglect

  • adhd the easier solution

  • all work and no play

  • along the well traveled path

  • are you a juicy woman 10 juicy morsels to getting healthy

  • are you meeting all your childs basic needs

  • are you speaking the same language in your office

  • attitude

  • a birds eye view of the enchanted self and what it means to you part 1

  • a crash course in tarot for newbies 1

  • a double whammy

  • a guide to relationship quizzes

  • a nature meditation

  • a resolution worth keeping

  • a trail of tears and broken relationships maybe symptomatic of depression

  • a visit to the north pole

  • a wedding for what

  • benefits of meditation

  • better aging

  • born aliens

  • breathing problems natural solutions

  • brin in the coach im ready to play

  • can money buy happiness

  • caution date safe

  • choosing a home that matches your lifestyle

  • christ and culture part 1

  • circulatory problems natural solutions

  • color psychology decorating a bedroom for the subconscious

  • common household products that can poison your children

  • confessions of an un qualified esl teacher

  • confessions of a lover of books and learning

  • create and maintain a conscious love relationship

  • create the relationships youve always wanted

  • creating conscious relationships

  • creating self esteem

  • dealing with emotional pain

  • destiny is intention not guaranteed

  • determinants of success revisited again

  • differing sexual needs

  • digestive problems natural solutions

  • discover your housing value system

  • divorce advice getting divorce advice from the right source

  • divorce and children things to consider when youre staying married only for your children

  • divorce and children things to consider when you re staying married only for your children

  • divorce when forever is just too long

  • does a loved one need anger management counseling

  • domestic violence against women and children

  • do what you love love what you do

  • dyslexia is the shoe perhaps on the wrong foot

  • eclectic paths to integration series psychological models freud

  • effective communication tell them what time it is not how to build a watch

  • eft and health issues

  • emotional freedom at your fingertips

  • ensuring sufficient blood flow to the brain

  • environmental issue wood burning fireplaces

  • eq for the agony and the ecstasy

  • eq your request and increase your chances of getting it

  • ericksons theory of human development

  • exceptions to the rule

  • extreme breakup recovery maximum healing minimum time

  • e book on russian women part 3

  • facing your daily stresses and anxieties in a womens world

  • fairytales are the frosting not the cake

  • finding mr or ms perfect

  • finding the answers in managing your fears and anxieties

  • finding your niche in life

  • find your soulmate

  • five ways to turbo boost your parenting skills

  • flame of sisterhood

  • florida ghost hunters joined by ohio state tested medium tinia ross

  • focus on who and what you want

  • freedom

  • freedom through purose

  • get lean mean and green this summer

  • grasso kennedy frost public service and you

  • guiltless contentment

  • hair care for children

  • happiness and work your life depends on it

  • headaches effective natural solutions

  • high blood pressure natural solutions

  • holiday decorating ideas and the environment

  • holiday times are for helping those less fortunate think holiday cards

  • homeownership could it be in your future

  • hormones creating harmony

  • hostage to ego or host to god

  • how a 21st century dad can make a positive impact on his children

  • how happy are you at work

  • how harmful is parental favouritism

  • how the hopi create their world

  • how to align your goals for success

  • how to be a good audience

  • how to be strong and powerful

  • how to be the perfect guest business or social

  • how to create an emotional bond with your child

  • how to find the work you were meant to do

  • how to get and maintain a great positive attitude to life part one

  • how to get a great attitude to life part one

  • how to get more personal power

  • how to get organized

  • how to heal your heart

  • how to jump start your emotional health

  • how to stay motivated in hard times

  • how to survive as a working parent

  • human conditioning stress management and music

  • if the floors dirty dont call a meeting pick up a broom

  • improve your memory

  • index

  • intimacy in marriage what is it really and how can you have it

  • intimacy what is it really

  • is adhd a real disease

  • is a good bargain worth paying for

  • is it really a business coach youre after

  • is your allergic child safe in school

  • its too hard let me tell you about it

  • it is always about me isnt it

  • kundalini rising a comparative thesis on thelema and kashmir shaivism

  • labeling is disabling achieving congruent communication

  • laser power mind

  • learning to love ourselves

  • lessons from hurricane fabian

  • lessons from the garden

  • lessons from the garden part ii the elephant ear

  • lets say youre a dog are you so competitive youd eat a carrot

  • letting go of the past creating a context for everyday miracles

  • living in your home may be dangerous to your health

  • loose a pound

  • love and health

  • make your perfect lover come to life

  • making a difference

  • making a difference in an indifferent world

  • making music as a lefty

  • making passion more passionate

  • managing your every day stresses and anxieties

  • managing your persistent fears and anxieties

  • mastering mindfulness a thinkers ode to meditation

  • memory and attention in children

  • mistakes giving medications to children are avoidable

  • mommy whisperer

  • moral armors irrational parenting part i

  • moral armors irrational parenting part ii

  • moral armors irrational parenting part iii

  • moral armors irrational parenting part iv

  • moral armors irrational parenting part v

  • more effective communication with children part 1

  • more effective communication with children part 2

  • more effective communication with children part 3

  • more effective communication with children part 4

  • more effective communication with children part 5

  • more effective communication with children part 6

  • more than mom and dad

  • motivation to succeed develops in early childhood

  • ms perfect what kind of worker are you part 4

  • my rad child

  • nature versus nurture

  • novelty and the wave harmonic of history

  • no no no what else is a parent to say

  • no picnic in sight

  • nurse lazarus raises the dead and runs a neat newsworthy net business

  • nurtured by love or matured by nature

  • online dating 101 the basics

  • online poker chips away at sexual stereotypes

  • on empathy

  • our childrens needs part 1

  • our childrens needs part 2

  • our childrens needs part 3

  • our childrens needs part 4

  • our childrens needs part 5

  • our childrens needs part 6

  • our childrens needs part 7

  • our childrens needs part 8

  • our greatest asset

  • our spiritual light

  • overcoming anxiety

  • over 50 and looking for work

  • panic attacks and things that go bump in the night

  • paradigmatic parallels part 1 the silent word

  • paradigmatic parallels part 2 the tarot and september 11th

  • paradigmatic parallels part 3 morphic resonance

  • paradigmatic parallels part 4 qabalistic memes

  • parenting

  • parenting skills five ways to turbo boost your confidence

  • poetry for health and healing

  • practical applications for emotional intelligence

  • prayer

  • prayer the medium of miracles

  • preparing your child for the three rs

  • pressure in youth sports

  • protecting our spiritual sapling

  • psychology of colors decorating a living room for the subconscious

  • put yourself out of your misery and quit

  • questions for the game of life

  • race and racism some concepts defined

  • raising courageous kids an author interview

  • reading your partners mind

  • refuse to live your life without art poetry and music

  • rekindling an old flame

  • relationships and life s lessons

  • residential drug treatment centers

  • review filling the glass

  • rotator

  • secrets of seduction using humour as your secret weapon

  • secrets of successfully sitting exams

  • see you in america

  • self acceptance and self improvement

  • selling houses making a homes sale flyer with internet marketing tools

  • setting up your office for health

  • seven truths perceiving this war differently

  • sex or gender

  • signs of interest

  • smelling the roses better living through savoring

  • son can i use the car tonight

  • sorrow and closure

  • soulmate connection

  • special report what do iq tests and the sat measure and where does eq fit in

  • speed dating

  • spiritual weight lifting

  • sports psychology guidelines for sports parents

  • study confirms ibs improvement

  • surprising new info about children allergies and pets

  • take control of the silver bell blues

  • take off the rose colored glasses when dating

  • take the childs perspective

  • take the child s perspective

  • taking the love quiz

  • talking to your children about sex

  • teach me im yours if you want your child to be smart you be the first teacher

  • teach me i m yours if you want your child to be smart you be the first teacher

  • tell me the truth doctor

  • ten ways to beat the heat

  • thanksgiving with emotional intelligence haiku

  • the active role of silence

  • the apartment building

  • the best kept secret of weight loss

  • the big fat lie about trying harder

  • the blind village and the elephant

  • the challenge of parenthood

  • the dignity of labor

  • the easy way to get your point across

  • the emergent feminine

  • the enchanted cottage

  • the enchanted self thats each of us

  • the evolution of worry

  • the fable of the elephant and the woman who wasnt blind

  • the felt sense a yoga instructors natural remedy for a weakened pelvic floor

  • the fifteen secrets that successful women know

  • the gift of visualization

  • the greatest gift you can give your child or anyone

  • the hidden elements of child sexual abuse

  • the high cost of freedom

  • the high eq low eq sales quiz

  • the logic of females or lack there of

  • the love pyramid mini course

  • the mystery of a dream

  • the need to win drains you of power

  • the new age movement

  • the new marriage part four of four

  • the new marriage part one of four

  • the new marriage part three of four

  • the new marriage part two of four

  • the principles of success

  • the psychology of impotence

  • the psychology of success

  • the recipe for success in work and in life

  • the science of life

  • the science of mother love

  • the secret of prosperity

  • the some of the bits

  • the spirit of change

  • the stories of our lives turning disenchantment into enchantment part 2

  • the war on women

  • things i learned from mister rogers

  • thorns turtles and elephants

  • top 10 secrets for achieving your dream retirement

  • to be or not to be forgiveness

  • to hell in a handbasket men who crash and burn

  • to love forever

  • using psychology of color to decorate a dining room

  • viagra takes you back to manhood

  • ways fathers can invest in their children

  • ways father s can invest in their children

  • well well well a deep topic

  • we all wish that our children have good virtues but are we setting a good example ourselves

  • whats your definition of fun

  • what can i do how can i get what i want

  • what is coaching what do coaches do

  • what is evil eye

  • what is meditation

  • what is your problem there must be 50 ways to

  • what kids learn thats positive from playing video games

  • what kind of education should you get for todays market

  • what kind of worker are you

  • what kind of worker are you part 2

  • what you never wanted but need to know about car accidents

  • when are you planning to get old

  • when a family member stuggles with fear and anxiety

  • when family members are reacting differently to the loss of your pet

  • when self growth becomes self sabotage

  • when traveling abroad use your eq

  • where does one start to succeed when nothing is working

  • where do our attitudes come from

  • whose fault was it

  • who is a compassionate listener

  • why you need coaching to learn emotional intelligence

  • will your children take a one way ticket to needle death

  • wny work with a certified emotional intelligence coach

  • woman smaller brain less intelligent

  • your health

  • your home and your golden years

  • your home is a toxic waste dump

  • your wedding photos and videos make them eternal artistic keepsakes

  • you are never alone

  • you can afford to be a stay at home parent