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Caution Date Safe
It is indeed surprising that when polled almost 35% people could recount at least one incident when they went on a date to a lonely place in a vehicle that was not their own with a person they were dating for the first time. Most are plain...
No Picnic In Sight
Upon being diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, I saw the reality behind the greatest myth of mental illness, the myth that The Victim Is Unaware of His or Her Own Condition. A childhood flooded with media depictions of the mentally ill...
Overcoming Anxiety
Overcoming Anxiety
Robert Elias Najemy
In order to create the healthy, happy and harmonious reality we all desire, we will need to create emotional harmony.
This process can be divided into six basic steps:
1. Recognize our emotions.
2....
Parenting
This article on parenting is by a practicing relationship counsellor/therapist, and father.
The following suggestions will be useful for any parent or caregiver who wants to improve their relationships with their children.
In more extreme...
Tell me the truth, doctor!
================================================================= " Tell me the truth, doc!" =================================================================
Would you call that a honest demand?
I wouldn't.
In ordinary circumstances, a...
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Smelling the Roses: Better Living Through Savoring
“Stop and smell the roses,” people often say. Then they smile ruefully, because everybody knows there isn’t enough TIME to stop or, as my daughter says, to “chill.”
This is the Conventional Wisdom – and I’m here to tell you that the CW is simply WRONG. Researchers in Positive Psychology find that people actually get more done if they take time out to SAVOR their day. Not only that, but, over time, people who set aside a few hours every week are likely to be healthier, more relaxed, and better able to cope with the stresses of everyday life.
Why not try it? Give yourself the gift of Savoring. (Hey, stress is all you have to lose!)
To start, make a list of 10 things you REALLY enjoy doing, whether or not you’ve made time for them lately. I’m talking about stuff that gives you real pleasure. They may be things you do alone, or with one other person, or with a group. Look over the list, and see if one thing says “pick me.” Choose one of those activities that you enjoy.
Now: Take out your calendar, and SOME TIME IN THE NEXT MONTH, block out at least a 2-hour period that is JUST FOR YOU. Half a day is better. A whole day is best of all. Do whatever is needed to make that time free. Ask a neighbor to baby-sit. Tell your spouse you’ll be busy. Say “no” to the half-dozen requests that will almost certainly challenge your Savoring Time .
And when Your Day comes . . . GO FOR IT, whether you’re making a picture, walking in the
woods, going to a movie, or just sitting still. What matters is that you’re doing something you really enjoy.
These tricks will help you get the most out of your day:
•Give yourself permission – this is Your Day. It is absolutely 100% okay for you to be taking this time. When kill-joy thinking comes along (and it will), play with it. Pretend it’s a stick floating in a stream, and just let it drift away.
•Leave your cel phone at home, or at least turned off. You’re busy savoring, remember?
•Keep the day alive – collect a souvenir or take mental photographs to help you hold on to this special time.
•Tell the story – Share your experience with a friend or partner – the joy that’s shared multiples by ten.
•Write it down. Read it over as a reminder in a few days or weeks.
When your Savoring time is over, celebrate! Pat yourself on the back for challenging the Conventional Wisdom. And, while you’re at it, why not take out your calendar and make another date for Savoring Your Day?
(c) M. Killoran, 2004
Maureen is a certified Authentic Happiness Life Coach and Unitarian minister. Her passion is helping mid-life women and couples achieve lives of meaning and creativity, through her coaching practice, SpiritQuest LLC. She offers workshops, coaching, rites of passage, e-courses, a free monthly e-zine, and more -- check out her website www.spiritquest.ws
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