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Create and Maintain a Conscious Love Relationship
Create and Maintain a Conscious Love Relationship Robert Elias Najemy Part 1 of a 3 part series We present you with a brief outline of some basic points necessary to tend to in order to create a harmonious and loving relationship. INNER...

How Happy Are YOU At Work?
77% of Americans enjoy the time they spend away from their jobs more than the hours they spend working, according to a recent Gallup study. Do you experience any of these conflicts while at work? While working on a task do you feel mentally...

Making a Difference in an Indifferent World
If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem Spiritual Politics Making a Difference in an Indifferent World We live in troubled times where our peace and safety are often in danger. Most feel helpless and unable to...

Mommy Whisperer
Using simple techniques Moms can learn how easily they can whisper relaxing phrases to their babies during pregnancy, delivery, and post-partum. Dr. Linda Miles, inspires and instructs Moms, using a practical, proven effective method, which calms...

MORAL ARMOR'S Irrational Parenting, Part IV
The Author of Moral Armor reveals the psychology of bad parenting; from why they have children to the ultimate parenting sin: raising aimless, fear-ridden, defenseless individuals. Imposing Their Future. In contradiction...

 
THE STORIES OF OUR LIVES - Turning Disenchantment Into Enchantment - Part 2

In my psychology practice I hear so many disenchanted stories -- stories full of pain, anger and fear. My heart goes out to my clients every day. But the wonderment is listening to these stories and helping my clients listen to themselves, recognizing the special capacities that each display in their stories. I try to help someone appreciate and even feel beloved toward herself as she realizes that she has had so many talents and strengths buried even in the worst of times. I try to help her see that it's her very coping skills that may reflect her genius, her humor and her capacity for endurance. If I can do this, then I've helped my clients and we have begun the healing process.

In my counseling and therapy, I teach clear ways of reframing a person's experience so that she can retrieve from it what are her positive capacities and even to reclaim what gives her pleasure and joy. For example one of my clients was constantly put down by her husband and was now separated, was able through telling me stories about her childhood to reclaim the wonderful talent of singing. Even though her childhood home had been dysfunctional, the family had the capacity to sing together and once she recognized as a great gift, she brought it frequently into her own life with her children. It was a small step in regaining a sense of self worth and actually having pleasure with her children.

I'd like to leave you for the moment with an easy activity to begin to reframe some of your life story:

1.


Pick a year in your life and spend some time jotting down the main events of that year. They may be pleasant or they may be unpleasant.

2. Next make a list of all your talents, abilities, strengths, and coping skills that you used during that year. This may take some time as you may find yourself dismissive of talents and strengths. However, try to be fair and generous of yourself, as you would be if you were generating this list for a dear friend.

3. The third step in this activity is to go back and tell the story of that year of your life either on paper or to a friend or maybe just inside your head but tell it honoring some of the talents, strengths and/or coping skills that you used that year.

I think you will quickly begin to see that any year of your life takes a different shape and shape more favorable to naming yourself a wondrous person when you truly take into account the efforts that you gave to that year of living regardless of the outcome.

This material is based on an article from the Story Circle Journal.

Dr. Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self and a psychologist since 1981. She is the author of two books: The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy and Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!
Dr. Holstein speaks on radio, and appears on television in NY and NJ. She gives lectures, seminars, retreats and audio interviews on LadybugLive.com and is in private practice in Long Branch, NJ with her husband, Dr. Russell Holstein.


 

Encyclopedia of Psychology - Psychology Websites
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Psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Psychology.Com
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psychology virtual library
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Intute: Social Sciences - Psychology
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Psychology Today: Find a Therapist and News to Use
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Social Psychology Network
Thousands of searchable psychology links on a huge variety of topics. Definitely worth a visit!
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Psychology and mental health at Psych Central .
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psychcentral.com
 
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Google Directory - Science > Social Sciences > Psychology
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Open Directory - Science: Social Sciences: Psychology
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Stanford Psychology Department
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APS Psychologist: Home
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Classics in the History of Psychology
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