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7 Good Reasons to Have Your Cat Spayed or Neutered
Every year, many cat owners decide to get their cat spayed or neutered. This decision is made for several different reasons, all of which illustrate why it is such a good idea.
The many problems caused by un-spayed or un-neutered pets each...
Back to School Feng Shui
How Rearranging Your Child’s Room Can Make Better Study Habits This Year Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the malls in search of the perfect sneaker or the cool new outfit for the coming school year. However, it’s...
Learn To Listen - Three Ways It Benefits Relationships
We always hear about communication being the key in a relationship. If we are always talking and not listening, then communication becomes meaningless.
It’s not easy to hear what someone else is saying, especially when our feelings, thoughts and...
Make Time for Your Relationship
"We don’t have to wait till Valentine's Day to think about relationships, whether we're in one or would like to be. Most people would agree that romance is the key element beneath the relationship pot. Be it a steamy, sizzling wok or a warm,...
Relationships with Abusive Narcissists - Part I
Question:
What kind of a spouse/mate/partner is likely to be attracted to a Narcissist?
Answer:
The Victims
On the face of it, there is no (emotional) partner or mate, who typically "binds" with a narcissist. They come in all shapes and...
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"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source"
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for divorce advice, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look in the right places.
Seems simple enough right?
Yes, but...lots of people who are deciding about divorce and seeking divorce advice lump the categories of divorce advice into one, and that's a big mistake. You should seek divorce advice from different types of places for the different types of advice that you need. Certainly there's more types of divorce advice categories, but here's a partial list:
Divorce advice type 1:
Legal advice for getting a divorce when you are sure that you want a divorce, no matter how tough it will be to get that divorce.
When asking for this type of divorce advice while meeting with an attorney, you may be asked if you're certain that you actually do want a divorce…if you do, don't waver, stick to your decision. It makes sense to have a good idea of all of the parts of your life, family and materials, that could be affected or sought after. You want to have your facts, account names, timelines, etc., in mind when meeting with the attorney so that your discussion is maximized.
Divorce advice type 2:
Legal advice for getting a divorce when you are almost sure that you want a divorce, but want to make sure that the financial considerations are in order or that health of your children won't suffer in the long run.
When asking for this type of divorce advice, you may want to consider seeking the advice of an attorney or financial planner for the financial considerations and a counselor experienced in family matters for the impact that a divorce might have on your children. The point is, split the two concerns up so that you get the chance to speak to 2 different people who specialize in each area so that you will get the appropriate divorce advice.
Divorce advice type 3:
Legal advice for getting a divorce in a case that is relatively simple and will be a clean break, no financial or other family considerations to take into account for the divorce.
This is perhaps the easiest type of divorce advice to get because it infers that you have already made the decision from an emotional standpoint and really don't have any other considerations of deep concern. When seeking this type of divorce advice, you most likely have limited financial considerations, a prenuptial agreement, or the situation itself as amenable to everyone and
you just need someone to do the paperwork.
Divorce advice type 4:
Legal and/or counseling advice regarding whether or not divorce is right for you from a psychological, emotional and financial perspective.
When asking for this type of divorce advice, you may want to consider seeking the advice of an attorney or financial planner for the financial considerations and a counselor experienced in Clinical Psychology and "personal-life" coaching for the impact that a divorce might have on you. Again, the point is, split the two concerns up so that you get a chance to speak to 2 different people who specialize in each area so that you will get the appropriate divorce advice.
Divorce advice type 5:
Counseling for emotional support when deciding whether or not you really want a divorce or are just unhappy in your marriage due to a marriage problem.
This type of divorce advice is crucial to your happiness because when you're in an emotional state, it is tough to make lucid and rational decisions. And, if you're wrestling with deciding whether or not to get a divorce (purely from an emotional perspective), you should do all you can to make a logical decision because how you approach this decision and the affects afterwards can be long lasting and far reaching. If you're are struggling with finding divorce advice, you may want to talk to friends, counselors, even other family members.
But, my divorce advice to you is, do it yourself.
I'm not saying don't talk with friends, counselors, and possibly family. What I am suggesting is that you reach the final decision of whether to get a divorce on your own, you have to live with it, no one else. The answer is inside you, you just have to get it out in a logical manner.
Whatever type of divorce advice you need, be sure that you're directing your energies in the right direction. If you don't separate the emotional aspects from the legal aspects of divorce advice, you might end up confused and unable to get the most out of any meeting you may have with an attorney or marriage counselor. At the end of the day, you should control your own destiny and make a smart decision based on logic, controlled emotion, and forward thinking.
© Karl Augustine, 2004
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.
Deciding on Divorce
Divorce Advice
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