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A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 5 steps to improvement
“It’s all about relationships!” proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. “When you retire, that’s what you realize is...
Are Money Conflicts Ruining Your Relationship?
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated. For other articles...
Five Ways to Sharpen Your Sense of Humor and Improve Your Relationships
Humor has long been considered one of the most effective tools to judge the quality of any relationship. If there is laughter present you can be sure the relationship is a healthy one. When the laughter ceases the relationship is on the down...
Making Your Relationship Work
Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t seem to pass “Go” without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well, it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here are your tools:
ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment...
The Parent Teen Relationship
It was the homework that did it. Each night became a challenge in how I was going to get my son, a non-academic, to do his homework. I tried patience, encouragement, and teaching, all to no avail. I moved on to bribery, threats and punishment,...
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Happy Relationships: Give 100%
A common expression is "I'll meet you halfway," and we often
take that attitude into our marriage. I hear frequent complaints
from couples in trouble that their partner isn't pulling their
fair weight, that one is giving more than the other.
Whoever determined that life is a 50-50 proposition?
Some give more than others. Some take more than others. On every
level of society from politics to business to social
interactions, there are discrepancies of effort, economics, and
emotions.
Going into a relationship with the expectation that
contributions will be fairly shared is to court disaster. Over a
span of time, a certain amount of evenness will develop through
a process of give-and-take and ups-and-downs. But at any
specific point, one may be giving while the other needs to just
take for a while.
We all need to enter the most important relationship of our life
with the foreknowledge and determined commitment to give 100%.
Once we have internalized that concept, we can avoid the painful
feelings we get when we think we are being cheated of our just
rewards. If the relationship is healthy, and both partners are
committed to the 100% investment, eventually it will work out
somewhere in the middle -probably never 50-50 but somewhere in
the broad bell curve of averages: 30% to 70%. At different
times, the equation adjusts as careers, children, and other
responsibilities change.
If you are the individual giving 70% and your other half is
falling a little short, remember that you swore to give 100% so
you are much better off than you expected.
Can you see how such thinking changes the framework of your
marriage? You're not getting cheated, you're getting much
more
support than your original bargain called for!
You can use this new attitude in any aspect of your partnership.
Many couples develop resentment over their relative monetary
contributions. If you have the initial anticipation of being the
sole breadwinner, then any contribution by the other, however
small, is a great big bonus. If you enter the union with the
expectation that you will handle all the cleaning and parenting
chores required, then anything done by your partner is a plus.
If one of you handles your mutual social obligations, then the
participation of your spouse, even if limited to just showing up
and being there, is more than you expected. You may feel, as
many of my patients do, that you are not getting the support and
good strokes that you deserve. Reframe the sense of deprivation
within the 100% concept and you find that even occasional
support and positive feedback is an unexpected gift.
We all need to feel loved and appreciated and cherished. We also
need to give love and appreciation to others. If we give more
than we get, we can harbor anger at our being cheated or we can
love and appreciate our own selves for having a greater capacity
to give.
This one single change in your outlook towards your relationship
can transform the hidden resentments that result in nagging,
negativity, and verbal putdowns into a deep satisfaction that
leads to overt affection, positive support, and mutual respect.
About the author:
Virginia Bola is giving away complimentary copies of the report
"Seven Super Simple Tips: Keep Your Marriage Fresh" from which
this article is taken. To obtain your own copy, visit:
http://www.graburl.com/x.php?1cs.
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| Relationships: Practical advice, information and friendly support ... |
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| Relationships Australia — Building stronger relationships which ... |
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| BBC - Relationships |
| Getting the most out of your sexual relationships (Image: Couple kissing) ... Subscribe to our monthly BBC Health and Relationships newsletter ... |
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| Love & Sex: Love Advice for Singles and Couples at iVillage.com |
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| Go Ask Alice!: Relationships |
| relationship stuff. Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships · "True love"... Could it be true? ... Parents don't approve of interracial relationship ... |
| www.goaskalice.columbia.edu |
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| Relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Look up relationship in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. Relationship may refer to: ... Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship" ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| Interpersonal relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
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| About - People & Relationships |
| About People & Relationships provides advice for every stage of your relationship from dating to marriage. And, when relationships hit the skids, ... |
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| Relationships.com - Online Personals and Christian Dating for ... |
| Christian singles site for online Christian personals. Relationships.com is the leading site for Christian dating. Enjoy our chat, IM, photo galleries, ... |
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| Teen Relationships Website! |
| Relationship chat and information for teens, by teens. |
| www.teenrelationships.org |
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| Sex, Love and Relationships [HOME] - ChristianAnswers.Net |
| Learn how to make your love the best it can be. Christian answers to questions about sex, marriage, sexual addictions, and more. |
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| Relationshipweb.com - First aid for relationships |
| Directory of relationship information. Contains links and forums. |
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| SCRS - Virtual Pamphlet Collection - Relationships |
| University of Texas at Austin; Keys to a Successful Marriage - University of Wisconsin -- Eau Claire; Making Friends - Massey University; On Relationships ... |
| counseling.uchicago.edu |
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| Abusive Relationships |
| Abuse - physical, emotional, or sexual - has no place in love. Read this article to find out how to recognize the signs of abuse in yourself or a friend and ... |
| www.kidshealth.org |
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| Relationship Advice Site Featuring Relationship Book Im Sorry |
| A relationship repair guide featuring forum, free ecards, postcards, and books. |
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| Today: Relationships - MSNBC.com |
| Looking for love or having trouble in your relationship? "Today" contributor Dr. Gail Saltz offers help. In her weekly column she tackles some of the ... |
| www.msnbc.msn.com |
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| Addictive Relationships--UIUC Counseling Center |
| It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it is bad for you. ... It is in this sense that the relationships are "addictive." ... |
| www.couns.uiuc.edu |
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| Relationships: See what people are saying right now on Technorati |
| See all blog posts tagged with relationships on Technorati. |
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| Relationships in the Yahoo! Directory |
| Read articles on friendship, romance, dating, and marriage as well as incest, affairs, and divorce. Also take relationship quizzes and discover kissing ... |
| dir.yahoo.com |
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| Relationships -- Beliefnet.com |
| Our relationships expert's "essential message" is that life is a journey to integrate the deep soul with the higher spirit. ... |
| www.beliefnet.com |
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