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50 Secrets of a Blissful Relationship/Review
50 Secrets Of Blissful Relationships: Book Review by Joan Bramsch When Michael Webb sent me a review copy of his latest book - 50 SECRETS OF BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS, What the top 1% of marriages have in common - I knew I'd be able to read it...
COMMUNICATION-KEY TO A GOOD ROOMMATE RELATIONSHIP
Communication is the biggest key to any relationship, and roommates are no different. Open up the channels of communication early: Talk frankly about how excited you are, if you are nervous, etc. Get it out; they probably feel the same way. Doing...
How to Decide Whether to Keep Your Marriage or Other Relationship Going or to End It
In their top-selling book "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins offer expert advice to help you decide how to know WHEN or IF it's time to break up, leave your relationship or get a divorce. Theirs is...
Love, Marriage and Money
The f-word. Finances. Combining love and money may be the biggest stumbling block on the path of true love, creating more rifts in relationships than in-laws, drug and alcohol addiction, or infidelity. Financial power struggles challenge even...
Rasing a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is being hailed by experts as a disturbing trend among troubled youth. Such an interpretation may be factual, but mental heath advocates maintain there are guidelines parents...
 
Happy Relationships: Give 100%

A common expression is "I'll meet you halfway," and we often take that attitude into our marriage. I hear frequent complaints from couples in trouble that their partner isn't pulling their fair weight, that one is giving more than the other.

Whoever determined that life is a 50-50 proposition?

Some give more than others. Some take more than others. On every level of society from politics to business to social interactions, there are discrepancies of effort, economics, and emotions.

Going into a relationship with the expectation that contributions will be fairly shared is to court disaster. Over a span of time, a certain amount of evenness will develop through a process of give-and-take and ups-and-downs. But at any specific point, one may be giving while the other needs to just take for a while.

We all need to enter the most important relationship of our life with the foreknowledge and determined commitment to give 100%. Once we have internalized that concept, we can avoid the painful feelings we get when we think we are being cheated of our just rewards. If the relationship is healthy, and both partners are committed to the 100% investment, eventually it will work out somewhere in the middle -probably never 50-50 but somewhere in the broad bell curve of averages: 30% to 70%. At different times, the equation adjusts as careers, children, and other responsibilities change.

If you are the individual giving 70% and your other half is falling a little short, remember that you swore to give 100% so you are much better off than you expected.

Can you see how such thinking changes the framework of your marriage? You're not getting cheated, you're getting much


more support than your original bargain called for!

You can use this new attitude in any aspect of your partnership. Many couples develop resentment over their relative monetary contributions. If you have the initial anticipation of being the sole breadwinner, then any contribution by the other, however small, is a great big bonus. If you enter the union with the expectation that you will handle all the cleaning and parenting chores required, then anything done by your partner is a plus.

If one of you handles your mutual social obligations, then the participation of your spouse, even if limited to just showing up and being there, is more than you expected. You may feel, as many of my patients do, that you are not getting the support and good strokes that you deserve. Reframe the sense of deprivation within the 100% concept and you find that even occasional support and positive feedback is an unexpected gift.

We all need to feel loved and appreciated and cherished. We also need to give love and appreciation to others. If we give more than we get, we can harbor anger at our being cheated or we can love and appreciate our own selves for having a greater capacity to give.

This one single change in your outlook towards your relationship can transform the hidden resentments that result in nagging, negativity, and verbal putdowns into a deep satisfaction that leads to overt affection, positive support, and mutual respect.



About the author:

Virginia Bola is giving away complimentary copies of the report "Seven Super Simple Tips: Keep Your Marriage Fresh" from which this article is taken. To obtain your own copy, visit: http://www.graburl.com/x.php?1cs.

 

Relationships: Practical advice, information and friendly support ...
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Relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Look up relationship in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. Relationship may refer to: ... Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship" ...
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Interpersonal relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Interpersonal relationships are social associations, connections, ... This type of interpersonal relationship also includes the comradeship of fellow ...
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Teen Relationships Website!
Relationship chat and information for teens, by teens.
www.teenrelationships.org
 
Sex, Love and Relationships [HOME] - ChristianAnswers.Net
Learn how to make your love the best it can be. Christian answers to questions about sex, marriage, sexual addictions, and more.
www.christiananswers.net
 
Relationshipweb.com - First aid for relationships
Directory of relationship information. Contains links and forums.
www.relationshipweb.com
 
SCRS - Virtual Pamphlet Collection - Relationships
University of Texas at Austin; Keys to a Successful Marriage - University of Wisconsin -- Eau Claire; Making Friends - Massey University; On Relationships ...
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Abusive Relationships
Abuse - physical, emotional, or sexual - has no place in love. Read this article to find out how to recognize the signs of abuse in yourself or a friend and ...
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Relationship Advice Site Featuring Relationship Book Im Sorry
A relationship repair guide featuring forum, free ecards, postcards, and books.
www.relationshiprepair.net
 
Today: Relationships - MSNBC.com
Looking for love or having trouble in your relationship? "Today" contributor Dr. Gail Saltz offers help. In her weekly column she tackles some of the ...
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Addictive Relationships--UIUC Counseling Center
It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it is bad for you. ... It is in this sense that the relationships are "addictive." ...
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Relationships: See what people are saying right now on Technorati
See all blog posts tagged with relationships on Technorati.
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Relationships in the Yahoo! Directory
Read articles on friendship, romance, dating, and marriage as well as incest, affairs, and divorce. Also take relationship quizzes and discover kissing ...
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Relationships -- Beliefnet.com
Our relationships expert's "essential message" is that life is a journey to integrate the deep soul with the higher spirit. ...
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