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Are You Relationship Ready?
So, you want to fall in love? You are certainly old enough and moving well along your chosen career path. Many of your friends are either married or in committed relationships. You have grown weary of the singles scene
and the solitary life....
Book Review: The Male Gift Giving Survival Guide
This extraordinary book was recommended to me by a colleague after he visited my new web site, Gift Ideas For Women. The Male Gift Giving Survival Guide compliments my website perfectly, untangling for men the web of gifts for women. It deciphers...
Can This Relationship Be Helped?
I have been counseling couples for 35 years. Quite often individuals come in for help wondering if it is really possible to save or improve their relationship. Perhaps their partner is totally uninterested in working on the relationship. Perhaps...
Create the Relationships You've Always Wanted
Is your spouse, your teenager or your boss pushing your buttons? It doesn't have to be that way. You can become the master of your love relationships, work relationships and family relationships. You can bring out the best in others as well as in...
Is honesty always the best policy when it comes to relationships?
What about little white lies? What about when your partner asks you if this dress makes her look fat. What do you think? Is it OK to lie to a person we care about for a kind reason, like to make him feel better and more secure, or to avoid a fight....
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How to Make a Relationship Work
Arthur and Samatha are going at it again. It’s hard to watch from the outside, because it’s obvious they love each other, and obvious that they’re quite compatible. They’ve both been divorced, though, so they’re leery, and what they’re doing is finding sore points – even manufacturing them, instead of enjoying each other.
“But you don’t like opera,” says Samantha, “and you want to live in the country. How could we get married?”
“I know,” counters Arthur, “you like …”
It’s like the old song, “you say’ to MAY to’ and I say ‘to MAH to.’ How can love survive?” The song makes a very good point with humor. The couple in the song is seriously debating whether they’re meant for each other when they pronounce a word differently.
Arthur and Samantha are doing the same thing, and if they don’t watch out, they’re going to talk themselves out of a lovely relationship, one that could really work.
“The art of being wise,” said William James, “is the art of knowing what to overlook.”
When couples first date and fall in love, the emphasis is all on the things they have in common. Often you feel like you’ve discovered your very own, and one and only, soul-mate, and the blending and compatibility are marvelous. The rush of those yummy love-chemicals has something to do with this; after all, we can of “lose our minds” in love, for a while. Then nerves can set in, as you start to get serious about each other, and you start to get analytical. And what can stand up under constant analysis? Not a loving relationship!
Analyzing how you’re doing is a sure way to kill a good relationship. It’s better to focus on how you’re feeling at the moment, and stay in the moment. When you start questioning how things are going to be in the future, and feed it with memories of past horror stories, you’re sacrificing the real for the unreal.
When you think about it, anything could happen in the future, and many things will happen that you couldn’t possibly predict. It’s likely the things you’re imagining (he’ll be unfaithful, she’ll turn into a nag) will never happen, and things you could never imagine will happen, so there’s really
no use in playing it out too far into the future.
The important things to know about are how this person makes you feel, and if your values and attitudes toward marriage match, and a match of energy-level is nice, but even that can change over time. Whether they are a morning-person or a night-person, whether you share every interest in common, and which way he/she thinks the toilet paper should unroll are not important in the long run. Those are things TO overlook, and things you will HAVE to overlook if you’re going to live with someone else.
Relationships do take work, and you need someone else who understands this concept, but that doesn’t mean you have to go looking for trouble, or misinterpreting what ‘work’ means. The work of a relationship is being understanding and forgiving, overlooking unimportant things, and being positive and loving; it’s not about picking the relationship apart, finding fault, catastrophizing, or talking it to death. Live it; don’t analyze it.
The title of this article has a double meaning. You can turn something pleasant and fun into work if you want to, but I recommend remembering that dating is supposed to be fun and love is supposed to feel good! There’s so much written these days about relationships, you might even get the impression they’re difficult, so if you’re getting along and having a good time something must be wrong. Give yourself permission to go with a good thing, and give you and your partner credit for basically knowing what to do. You’re together, aren’t you?
You don’t need to figure out with your head whether you belong together; in fact your head can get in the way and mess up a good thing. Your heart tells you, if you quiet the analysis, and listen to it.
About the Author
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success. I train and certify EQ coaches. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Email for FR** EQ ezine. Visit the ebook library - www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html .
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| Relationships: Practical advice, information and friendly support ... |
| Information, answers, tips, advice and friendly support on everything to do with dating, relating, marriage, love and friendship issues. |
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| Relationships Australia — Building stronger relationships which ... |
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| BBC - Relationships |
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| www.bbc.co.uk |
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| Love & Sex: Love Advice for Singles and Couples at iVillage.com |
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| love.ivillage.com |
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| Go Ask Alice!: Relationships |
| relationship stuff. Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships · "True love"... Could it be true? ... Parents don't approve of interracial relationship ... |
| www.goaskalice.columbia.edu |
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| Relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Look up relationship in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. Relationship may refer to: ... Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship" ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| Interpersonal relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Interpersonal relationships are social associations, connections, ... This type of interpersonal relationship also includes the comradeship of fellow ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| About - People & Relationships |
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| about.com |
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| Relationships.com - Online Personals and Christian Dating for ... |
| Christian singles site for online Christian personals. Relationships.com is the leading site for Christian dating. Enjoy our chat, IM, photo galleries, ... |
| www.relationships.com |
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| Teen Relationships Website! |
| Relationship chat and information for teens, by teens. |
| www.teenrelationships.org |
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| Sex, Love and Relationships [HOME] - ChristianAnswers.Net |
| Learn how to make your love the best it can be. Christian answers to questions about sex, marriage, sexual addictions, and more. |
| www.christiananswers.net |
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| Relationshipweb.com - First aid for relationships |
| Directory of relationship information. Contains links and forums. |
| www.relationshipweb.com |
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| SCRS - Virtual Pamphlet Collection - Relationships |
| University of Texas at Austin; Keys to a Successful Marriage - University of Wisconsin -- Eau Claire; Making Friends - Massey University; On Relationships ... |
| counseling.uchicago.edu |
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| Abusive Relationships |
| Abuse - physical, emotional, or sexual - has no place in love. Read this article to find out how to recognize the signs of abuse in yourself or a friend and ... |
| www.kidshealth.org |
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| Relationship Advice Site Featuring Relationship Book Im Sorry |
| A relationship repair guide featuring forum, free ecards, postcards, and books. |
| www.relationshiprepair.net |
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| Today: Relationships - MSNBC.com |
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| www.msnbc.msn.com |
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| Addictive Relationships--UIUC Counseling Center |
| It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it is bad for you. ... It is in this sense that the relationships are "addictive." ... |
| www.couns.uiuc.edu |
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| Relationships: See what people are saying right now on Technorati |
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| Relationships in the Yahoo! Directory |
| Read articles on friendship, romance, dating, and marriage as well as incest, affairs, and divorce. Also take relationship quizzes and discover kissing ... |
| dir.yahoo.com |
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| Relationships -- Beliefnet.com |
| Our relationships expert's "essential message" is that life is a journey to integrate the deep soul with the higher spirit. ... |
| www.beliefnet.com |
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