Relationship: Ten Strategies to Improve your Relationship
Relationship Strategy No.1: Appreciate your Partners
Differences
- Due to your upbringing, family background, cultural heritage and
psychological makeup, you and your partner approach life from
completely different perspectives.
- By accepting that fact, you can begin to appreciate the value that
your partner brings to the relationship. A balanced relationship
requires Ying and Yang, the male and the female to flourish. Differing viewpoints make for a rich and rewarding relationship.
Relationship Strategy No.2: Understand the Nature
of Love
- Has the hot, heady romantic passion subsided in your relationship?
Has the infatuation faded? Good! Now you are ready to move on to the
mature stage of love. You have moved past the first flush of romantic love where your feelings are in a constant flutter and your emotions are running high.
- Now you can develop a more mature and realistic approach to your
relationship. Work, family, children, friends, as well as your
relationship, are all part of a much bigger picture. This is the
natural progression and does not mean that you are no longer in love. It just means that reality has taken over from unrealistic
expectations.
Relationship Strategy No.3: Accept Your Partners Values
and Beliefs
- Do not expect your partner to agree with everything you value and
believe.
- You can expect to fundamentally disagree about most things. If you
can accept that your partner has a different opinion to yours, then you can agree to disagree. This need not impact on your emotional
agreement. You can still love your partner even if you don't agree with their opinion.
Relationship Strategy No.4: Accept that you and your
partner have conflicting interests
- You like may like pop music, your partner may like soul music. You
like football, your partner prefers tennis. You like drama, your
partner prefers comedies. You like X, your partner prefers Y.</LI>
- Just because you have different interests does not mean that there
is anything wrong with your relationship.
- If you experience conflict and stress as a result of engaging in
activities that you don't really like, then you should consider giving them up.
Relationship Strategy No.5: Learn How to Argue
Constructively
- Disagreements arise in every relationship. This need not be a
problem.
- When you argue, keep to the issue. Do not verbally attack your
partner personally.
- Ask for time to calm down if you are emotionally upset.
- Don't put your entire relationship on the line for the sake of
winning an argument.
- Try to achieve emotional balance after expressing your
opinion.
Relationship Strategy No.6: Learn to Control Your
Feelings
- Avoid attacks on the self worth of your partner during
arguments. This is potentially destructive and may not represent how
you truly
feel.
- If you are emotionally out of control, it might be best to leave
the room for a while, go for a run, do some exercise or find other ways to relieve the tension you feel.
- Avoid saying things in the heat of the moment that you might regret
later when you have clamed down.
Relationship Strategy No.7: Remember to Maintain an
Intimate Relationship
- It is so easy to drift into lazy habits. Watching T.V. late
into the night so that you are too tired for intimacy. Overeating or
over drinking so that you are incapable of quality time together.
Allowing yourself to get out of condition or becoming slovenly in your habits. These all impact on sexual desire and performance.
- Recapture some of the romance of courtship with flowers,
candlelight and dinners for two. Rekindle the flame of sexual desire by taking the time to be intimate. Maintain the physical comfort of
touching, caressing and holding hands.
Relationship Strategy No.8: Accept your Partners
Weaknesses
- Your partner may be less than perfect but then so are you.
Accept your partner's weaknesses. If they were perfect then they
wouldn't need you, would they?
- Focus on your partner's strengths. Make a list of all the things
you like about them and concentrate your attention on those.
- Providing your partner's behaviour is not abusive or destructive
then you can learn to overlook it and learn to compensate for them.
Remember you are two halves of one whole.
Relationship Strategy No.9: Accept the Unique Qualities of your
Relationship
- Every relationship is different. What you accept in your
relationship others may think is objectionable. What you think is
objectionable in the relationship of others, they may think is
tolerable.
- Just be yourselves and find your own level of acceptable behaviour
within your relationship. Do not allow yourselves to be judged by
anyone else's so-called standards of acceptable behaviour.
- Everyone expresses love in their own unique way. The underlying
feelings are genuine and real, however they are expressed.
Relationship Strategy No.10: Accept Responsibility for the
Relationship
- If you want the relationship to change then start by changing
your own behaviour or attitudes.
- You cannot expect your partner to change just because you are
unhappy about their behaviour or their attitudes.
- Accept the responsibility of changing your own approach, use new
techniques, adopt new strategies.
About the Author
Alan Moreton is an International speaker, writer, editor and businessman. Article reproduction permission is hereby granted providing the article is republished
in its entirety, with author's information and any links intact. Copyright 2005 by Alan Moreton
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