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10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship
1. Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. He changes...
Do's and Don't's of Relationship
The article provide the reader with powerful information on do's and don't's of relationships.
This article maybe published in Ezines, News Letters, Websites, magazines, news papers and can also be forwarded to other publications as long all...
Relationship Advice: Top 2 Secret Ways To Become Irresistibly Magnetic To Your Wife In Less Than 72 Hours
According to new studies 5 out of 10 marriages will end in divorce. Without going into the typical boring drawn-out discussion on divorce, I’m going to get straight to the point. You are about to learn the top 2 ways to become irresistibly magnetic...
Sparrow or Peacock?: Understanding Your Relationship with Your Stuff
Maybe it's just a weird week. Three times in the past three days, I've bumped into someone I know and
started a conversation with, "Hey, how ARE you?"
Nothing unusual about that. But the responses were all discussions of problems with STUFF....
What Does It Really Mean When You "Pass or Fail" A Relationship Quiz?
Q. It seems that no matter what magazine I am reading there is always some new relationship quiz being published. Aren't these a bunch of baloney?
A. Well, even baloney has a purpose if you're looking for a quick sandwich. The honest answer is...
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Save Your Relationship and Your Sanity
Create Time To Share And Time On Your Own.
Establish time to spend together and time for yourself. Although you need the time together to nurture your relationship, it is important to have a good balance. You are not the Mini-Me of each other. You each have your own values, interests and needs. Make sure your couple time is about quality, not quantity. Set up boundaries so the family and friends know that this is your sacred time. Now, it’s time to shift focus on you. Having shared perspectives and similar interests does not mean that you have to participate in all activities together. Creating personal time for yourself is important for your personal growth. However, don’t use personal space as an excuse to not make time for each other. It is imperative that you articulate to each other the need for this time, so that no one feels neglected.
Be Patient with Each Other.
No one is perfect. It is important that you accept and love each other, quirks and all. Your relationship is a shared territory. It requires love, work and patience There is a learning curve in relationships and for some the learning never stop. There is a difference in how the two of you relate, interact and live. You come to realize each others’ strengths and weaknesses. View each other’s abilities and personality as a gift. Be more flexible in your viewpoints. Work on win/win methods, so that no one has to lose. It’s more important to understand and value each other’s viewpoint, rather than trying to agree or disagree with it.
Respect Each Other
Respect each other’s values. Respect each other’s time. Respect each other’s space. Respect each other’s privacy. Respect each other’s weaknesses. Respect each other’s point of view. Respect each other’s faith. Respect each other’s friends and family. Respect each other’s job or career. Respect each other’s culture. Respect each other’s sense of humor. Respect each other’s character. Respect each other’s choices. Respect each other’s belongings. Respect each other through love.
Highlight What’s Right
Highlighting what’s right builds up, rather than tears down. Constant criticism diminishes self-esteem. This is why verbal and
emotional abuse can be so damaging. No one wants to start or end their day with a laundry list of complaints. Take time to appreciate what’s going right in the relationship. Make it a habit of complimenting each other on something besides physical appearance. Build up each other’s confidence. Point out noteworthy or small tokens of appreciation. Take the time to show gratitude. When people feel good, they want to share that feeling with others.
Listen
If we spoke less and listened more, it would eliminate many of our communication problems. However, humans are conditioned to listen with the intent to respond. When was the last time you listened attentively to your significant other? Do you listen and then try to solve a problem? Do you listen and then offer advice? Do you listen and then criticize or belittle? Do you listen and then self-reference? When you listen, it builds trust. Your significant other feels understood and will share more with you over time. The next time you see your significant other in a contemplative state, tell them you’re available to listen.
Let Go Of Emotional Baggage
It’s time to unpack your emotional baggage. You can not undo the past. Bringing past pain into a present relationship is like mixing dirty clothes with laundered clothes. The old emotions need to be resolved before you can be yourself in your current relationship. Emotional baggage contributes to insecurities, poor judgment, cynicism and indecisiveness. Trying to protect your feelings will hinder your freedom and growth. Think about why you continue to allow yourself to suffer with this pain? Is there someone you need to forgive? Are you carrying around resentment and guilt? Talk about the situation with your significant other, so they can have a better understanding of what you are going through. If the pain is too unbearable, seek professional help together or alone.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Marie Magdala Roker is an Academic and Personal Development Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor who works with moms, teens, and college students and helps them empower themselves to get from where they are to where they want to be in life.
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