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Book Review: Karmic Relationships
Karmic Relationships: Healing Invisible Wounds Charles Richards, Ph.D. Jodere Group P.O. Box 910147, San Diego, CA 92191, 800-569-1002 September 2002, ISBN: 1588720195 350 pages, $23.95 http://www.KarmicRelationships.com Dr. Charles...
Family Ties – When to Let Go
Ruth consulted with me because she was confused about what to do regarding her mother, her brother, and her son. From the time Ruth was born, she never felt like she belonged in her family. Her mother ignored Ruth, obviously preferring her...
How to Find Relationship Advice
One thing to keep in mind when seeking relationship advice is that the relationship advice business is exactly that - a business, and a big business at that. It is important to be aware that there is a lot of bad advice available in the marketplace,...
"Marriage Problem; Is Your Marriage Problem Severe Enough To Warrant Getting A Divorce?"
Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're trying to do all you can to make your marriage work. Depending on how your marriage was prior to thinking that you had a marriage problem, you could be in for a hurtful time if you...
Ten Signs Of A Serious Relationship
When you are with someone you really care about, how can you tell if that person is the one for you? How can you find out where your relationship stands? Are there any clues that could tell you if the relationship will lead into marriage? ...
 
"Sexless Marriage : Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?"

If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy because of it, don't worry, it isn't unrecoverable but it is serious cause for concern. You may even be thinking that you need a divorce because of your sexless marriage, that's only natural. But, in order to really decide what to do, some thinking needs to be done so you feel good about your decision, regardless if you stay married or not.

Being stuck in a sexless marriage can have you feeling a wide range of feelings from loneliness, listlessness, confusion, unconfident, etc. These feelings come about for a variety of reasons and they can be overcome if you just figure out why you're in a sexless marriage. You need to get to the root of the problem and uncover the real reasons that you and your spouse are no longer sexually active assuming of course, you once were!

To get to the heart of the causes for a sexless marriage will take some time. On the surface, you may be thinking that the cause of your sexless marriage may include one or more of the following scenarios:

Sexless Marriage: "We both work too much!":
You both work extremely hard and there just never seems to be enough time to get together, your schedules are skewed. This is true a lot nowadays with the 'new' economy, lots of couples are married but just live together like roommates if both parties have 'time-consuming' careers. If not managed properly, it is unfortunate but common for people in this type of lifestyle to end up in a sexless marriage.
Sexless Marriage: "You work, I stay home with the kid/s!":
One of you works very hard with your career and one of you stays home to raise the children (child), which is equally as hard as any career! This situation can lead to a sexless marriage in many cases because of the seemingly disparate priority base of each party. The spouse with the career may need to work after hours, travel, or attend "post work" functions and the spouse who stays home raising the children (child) may not have any other outlet for relaxation away from the home front. This situation can easily lead to a sexless marriage because there may be underlying feelings from both sides that contribute to an already tough situation based on personal and work related schedules.

The spouse with the career may say at times, "Why do you think I work so hard? I do it for you, the kids, our family, etc.". The spouse who stays home with the children (child) may say at times, "You have another release, you have social interaction daily with the outside world. I feel stuck here sometimes, I need to get out and have time for myself.". If the spouse that stays home feels like the spouse with the career


enjoys being out and working more than being home, that calls for a whole different and escalated level of concern! Chances are the sexless marriage was bound to be that way before the current situation even arose.

Sexless Marriage: "I don't know why...there's just no spark left, you don't pay enough attention to me and our sex life and I guess I don't either!":
This is a common sexless marriage situation and it can be caused by a variety of things including emotional scars, bad experiences, boredom, laziness, etc. In this situation, there is deep cause for concern from both parties because both parties aren't happy sexually but don't really know why it ended up this way. Both parties have just "let things go" and didn't place a high enough priority on their sex life with their spouse, which in and of itself is very concerning.

Why would either or both parties let things get this way when love making is so important?

Sometimes there's a feeling of being taken for granted that can occur in this type of sexless marriage, and both parties should realize that sex is a basic human need and should take priority over other things at the right time. It takes work to get out of this type of sexless marriage, you need to sit down and figure out why your marital love life has dwindled. If you both really want to rekindle things, you can do so, but you both need to take equal responsibility for correcting the problem.

Whatever type of sexless marriage you are in (there's certainly more types than listed here), remember that it is not unrecoverable. If you're to the point of thinking about getting a divorce because of your sexless marriage, take the time to sit down and figure out how it got to be the way it is now.

If you've lost interest in your spouse from a sexual point of view, you need to define exactly why that occurred. If you don't know right off hand, you need to think back to a time when you did 'have the spark' and recall what you both were doing, feeling, thinking, etc. From that point, identify what has changed, why it has changed, and what you can do about it. When you get that portion figured out, you may well on your way to taking the first step of recovering from your sexless marriage. Remember, if you really want to rekindle your relationship, you can.

© Karl Augustine, 2004

"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"

An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.

Deciding on Divorce

Sexless Marriage

 

Relationships: Practical advice, information and friendly support ...
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Relationship chat and information for teens, by teens.
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Sex, Love and Relationships [HOME] - ChristianAnswers.Net
Learn how to make your love the best it can be. Christian answers to questions about sex, marriage, sexual addictions, and more.
www.christiananswers.net
 
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Directory of relationship information. Contains links and forums.
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SCRS - Virtual Pamphlet Collection - Relationships
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Today: Relationships - MSNBC.com
Looking for love or having trouble in your relationship? "Today" contributor Dr. Gail Saltz offers help. In her weekly column she tackles some of the ...
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Addictive Relationships--UIUC Counseling Center
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Relationships: See what people are saying right now on Technorati
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Our relationships expert's "essential message" is that life is a journey to integrate the deep soul with the higher spirit. ...
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