|
|
|
How to Grieve a Tragedy
Bad things happen to good people. Have you lost your job or are facing bankruptcy? Has a cherished relationship ended or you have gone through a divorce? Maybe you received diagnosis of a serious health problem. Or maybe you are mourning the loss...
How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship
Let’s admit it. Long distance relationships are far from easy. It is a sacrifice. You have to be able to transcend the loneliness caused by the distance and the paranioa caused by knowing he's so far away. And you should bear with the things that...
The Fundamentals of a Great Marriage
There are two types of marriages. A marriage in which a couple is married and cares about each other and another in which the couple loves each other and supports the development of each emotionally and spiritually. I met my wife in Russia. Our...
The Marriage Test
Love should not blind a couple to the realities of their legal status of husband and wife, for they are bound by an unwritten contract of marriage governed by the laws of the federal government, the state they live in and the decisions of the...
What You Can Do As A Non-Raging Mate To Either Fix The Relationship Or Forget It
(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower, Director of The Center for Anger Resolution, Inc., and "Betty" the girlfriend of a rageaholic.)
Betty: I am a 35-year-old single woman who has been dating a man for three...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
To End Or Not To End Your Relationship
Vanessa and Jon have a “good” marriage. They are kind and caring with each other. They enjoy many of the same things. So why is Vanessa in such turmoil over whether to stay or leave?
The problem is that Vanessa is very lonely with Jon. They are good friends, but they are not emotionally intimate. Jon has no desire to share any of his feelings with Vanessa, nor does he have any desire to understand Vanessa’s feelings. He is content to keep everything on the surface, while Vanessa wants a deeper emotional connection.
Since they have many good things in their marriage, Vanessa has decided to try marriage counseling, and Jon has agreed. Counseling or not, there is only one thing that can save this marriage – Jon and Vanessa shifting out of their intent to protect against pain and into an intent to learn about what is loving to themselves and each other.
Jon’s intent has always been to protect against pain rather than to learn about being loving to himself and others. He has done this by numbing out his feeling with marijuana and work. Jon’s choice to continue to protect against pain or to begin to open to learning from his feelings will determine the outcome of the counseling.
Vanessa, too, has operated with the intent to protect against pain. She has ignored her own feelings and been a “good” wife, submerging her own needs to comply with what Jon wanted. But at some point, she shifted her intent to learning about what is loving to herself, and now she realizes she cannot continue in an emotionally disconnected marriage.
The issues in your relationship may be about emotional distance, lack of passion, sexual problems, constant fighting, emotional abuse, (if there is physical abuse, then you must find a way to leave), or being used financially. There may be control and resistance occurring around many different issues. Yet the underlying issue is a lack of open and caring communication. And open communication only occurs when both people have a deep intention to learn about their feelings, fears, limiting beliefs, and resulting unloving behavior. If one or both people in a relationship are closed to
learning about themselves and each other, the relationship will not heal.
If you are thinking about leaving your relationship, first think about your own intent. Are you open to learning about your feelings, beliefs and behavior? Or, are you devoted to protecting against pain with anger, withdrawal, resistance or caretaking? Are you avoiding your feelings with substances and activities, or are you opening to learning from your feelings and exploring yourself with a process such as the Inner Bonding process that we teach? The first thing you need to do is deal with your own intent.
Once you are open to learning for a number of months, and really doing your inner work, then re-evaluate your relationship. Has anything changed? Is your partner more or less open to you? Are you talking more and fighting or withdrawing less?
If things are not getting better or are getting worse, then it is time to ask your partner if he or she is willing to do some healing work with you – through counseling, workshops, and reading books together. If your partner refuses to embark on a learning journey with you, then it is clear that this relationship will not change. At this point, you need to either fully accept it as it is or leave it. It will not become the relationship you want it to be unless both of you are open to learning.
If one or both partners remain in the intent to protect, the relationship will not heal. Yet most relationships can be healed when both people are deeply devoted to learning about loving themselves and each other.
About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You” and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.
Source: www.isnare.com
|
|
|
|
|
| Relationships: Practical advice, information and friendly support ... |
| Information, answers, tips, advice and friendly support on everything to do with dating, relating, marriage, love and friendship issues. |
| www.ivillage.co.uk |
|
| Relationships Australia — Building stronger relationships which ... |
| Non-profit community based organisation providing professional services to support relationships. |
| www.relationships.com.au |
|
| BBC - Relationships |
| Getting the most out of your sexual relationships (Image: Couple kissing) ... Subscribe to our monthly BBC Health and Relationships newsletter ... |
| www.bbc.co.uk |
|
| Love & Sex: Love Advice for Singles and Couples at iVillage.com |
| Find love advice for any relationship, including dating etiquette and sex tips at ... Hot Topics & Real Advice · Experts · Singles & Dating · Relationship ... |
| love.ivillage.com |
|
| Go Ask Alice!: Relationships |
| relationship stuff. Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships · "True love"... Could it be true? ... Parents don't approve of interracial relationship ... |
| www.goaskalice.columbia.edu |
|
| Relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Look up relationship in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. Relationship may refer to: ... Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship" ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Interpersonal relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Interpersonal relationships are social associations, connections, ... This type of interpersonal relationship also includes the comradeship of fellow ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| About - People & Relationships |
| About People & Relationships provides advice for every stage of your relationship from dating to marriage. And, when relationships hit the skids, ... |
| about.com |
|
| Relationships.com - Online Personals and Christian Dating for ... |
| Christian singles site for online Christian personals. Relationships.com is the leading site for Christian dating. Enjoy our chat, IM, photo galleries, ... |
| www.relationships.com |
|
| Teen Relationships Website! |
| Relationship chat and information for teens, by teens. |
| www.teenrelationships.org |
|
| Sex, Love and Relationships [HOME] - ChristianAnswers.Net |
| Learn how to make your love the best it can be. Christian answers to questions about sex, marriage, sexual addictions, and more. |
| www.christiananswers.net |
|
| Relationshipweb.com - First aid for relationships |
| Directory of relationship information. Contains links and forums. |
| www.relationshipweb.com |
|
| SCRS - Virtual Pamphlet Collection - Relationships |
| University of Texas at Austin; Keys to a Successful Marriage - University of Wisconsin -- Eau Claire; Making Friends - Massey University; On Relationships ... |
| counseling.uchicago.edu |
|
| Abusive Relationships |
| Abuse - physical, emotional, or sexual - has no place in love. Read this article to find out how to recognize the signs of abuse in yourself or a friend and ... |
| www.kidshealth.org |
|
| Relationship Advice Site Featuring Relationship Book Im Sorry |
| A relationship repair guide featuring forum, free ecards, postcards, and books. |
| www.relationshiprepair.net |
|
| Today: Relationships - MSNBC.com |
| Looking for love or having trouble in your relationship? "Today" contributor Dr. Gail Saltz offers help. In her weekly column she tackles some of the ... |
| www.msnbc.msn.com |
|
| Addictive Relationships--UIUC Counseling Center |
| It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it is bad for you. ... It is in this sense that the relationships are "addictive." ... |
| www.couns.uiuc.edu |
|
| Relationships: See what people are saying right now on Technorati |
| See all blog posts tagged with relationships on Technorati. |
| www.technorati.com |
|
| Relationships in the Yahoo! Directory |
| Read articles on friendship, romance, dating, and marriage as well as incest, affairs, and divorce. Also take relationship quizzes and discover kissing ... |
| dir.yahoo.com |
|
| Relationships -- Beliefnet.com |
| Our relationships expert's "essential message" is that life is a journey to integrate the deep soul with the higher spirit. ... |
| www.beliefnet.com |
|
|