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22 Fun Things To Do With Your Dozen Rose Gift
Your dozen rose gift doesn't only have to decorate your favorite room. Roses are about romance and enjoying the moment they are given and received. I've discovered some fun ways to use roses to create a stimulating day or night.
So read...
Dog Training - Reinforcing the Dog / Owner Relationship
Finding the style of that works best for you is important for establishing the boundaries between dog and owner, and for training your dog to be an obedient, loyal and faithful member of your family. All dog training methods work to reinforce the...
How to Make a Relationship Work
Arthur and Samatha are going at it again. It’s hard to watch from the outside, because it’s obvious they love each other, and obvious that they’re quite compatible. They’ve both been divorced, though, so they’re leery, and what they’re doing is...
Relationship Advice: "I've met Mr. Right. Do You Think He's the One?"
The question is a common one: How do I know if this is the right person. Am I doing the right thing?
The truth is we're never quite sure. We gather the data of experience. Then we take a shot at life one way of the other. Right or Wrong? Only...
Your Dog is a Social Animal - and Needs You!
Your dog is a social being, just like you! He/she loves walking in the park with you, playing ball or chase with you, and just being with you. Even when he/she’s lying around the house or the backyard having a snooze, your dog is well aware of...
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To End Or Not To End Your Relationship
Vanessa and Jon have a “good” marriage. They are kind and caring with each other. They enjoy many of the same things. So why is Vanessa in such turmoil over whether to stay or leave?
The problem is that Vanessa is very lonely with Jon. They are good friends, but they are not emotionally intimate. Jon has no desire to share any of his feelings with Vanessa, nor does he have any desire to understand Vanessa’s feelings. He is content to keep everything on the surface, while Vanessa wants a deeper emotional connection.
Since they have many good things in their marriage, Vanessa has decided to try marriage counseling, and Jon has agreed. Counseling or not, there is only one thing that can save this marriage – Jon and Vanessa shifting out of their intent to protect against pain and into an intent to learn about what is loving to themselves and each other.
Jon’s intent has always been to protect against pain rather than to learn about being loving to himself and others. He has done this by numbing out his feeling with marijuana and work. Jon’s choice to continue to protect against pain or to begin to open to learning from his feelings will determine the outcome of the counseling.
Vanessa, too, has operated with the intent to protect against pain. She has ignored her own feelings and been a “good” wife, submerging her own needs to comply with what Jon wanted. But at some point, she shifted her intent to learning about what is loving to herself, and now she realizes she cannot continue in an emotionally disconnected marriage.
The issues in your relationship may be about emotional distance, lack of passion, sexual problems, constant fighting, emotional abuse, (if there is physical abuse, then you must find a way to leave), or being used financially. There may be control and resistance occurring around many different issues. Yet the underlying issue is a lack of open and caring communication. And open communication only occurs when both people have a deep intention to learn about their feelings, fears, limiting beliefs, and resulting unloving behavior. If one or both people in a relationship are closed to
learning about themselves and each other, the relationship will not heal.
If you are thinking about leaving your relationship, first think about your own intent. Are you open to learning about your feelings, beliefs and behavior? Or, are you devoted to protecting against pain with anger, withdrawal, resistance or caretaking? Are you avoiding your feelings with substances and activities, or are you opening to learning from your feelings and exploring yourself with a process such as the Inner Bonding process that we teach? The first thing you need to do is deal with your own intent.
Once you are open to learning for a number of months, and really doing your inner work, then re-evaluate your relationship. Has anything changed? Is your partner more or less open to you? Are you talking more and fighting or withdrawing less?
If things are not getting better or are getting worse, then it is time to ask your partner if he or she is willing to do some healing work with you – through counseling, workshops, and reading books together. If your partner refuses to embark on a learning journey with you, then it is clear that this relationship will not change. At this point, you need to either fully accept it as it is or leave it. It will not become the relationship you want it to be unless both of you are open to learning.
If one or both partners remain in the intent to protect, the relationship will not heal. Yet most relationships can be healed when both people are deeply devoted to learning about loving themselves and each other.
About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You” and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.
Source: www.isnare.com
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