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Cellphones are the devil’s work
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? – Cartoon caption by James Thurber. But I say, “I will not pick up my cellphone even if you called the right number. Message/Text me.” Let’s put this straight: cellphones are a...
Hands-On Review: 802.11g Wireless Network Starter Kit from U.S. Robotics
The Straight Facts:
Pros - For systems with a USB port, it comes with everything you
need for 50 bucks. Install, setup and use were easier than with
other 802.11g wireless systems that I have tested.
Cons - The most difficult process was...
Is Quantum Physics the End of Dualism?
Dualism seems to be the biggest concept in history ever. Quantum Physics may lead us to a new paradigm shift in consciousness.
Our consciousness is programmed with the basic concept of dualism. Either it is this way or it is the other way,...
The Phenomenon of Russia
Translated from Russian. We shall be glad to receive your remarks on stylistics, grammar, and content issues. The Chinese proverb says: Before going somewhere, find out where you are. Having paraphrased on Russian, we shall receive: Before asking...
Time travel: sci-fi?
When you look at the clear night sky, you see stars-those tiny diamonds suspended in the vast pitch-black emptiness. But stars shine because…? Our own sun, which is a star, emits light. Stars are like giant bulbs but are much more powerful. Light...
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The Nature of Anger
Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger. We see
anger as destructive and hurtful. We consider it to be an
inappropriate response. We equate anger with violence. In short,
we feel that anger is simply wrong, and that when we experience
anger, there's something wrong with us. Anger isn't nice. Anger
isn't polite. And anger certainly isn't our friend.
Anger can be all of these things. But anger is also useful,
necessary and even healing. We need our anger. We simply need to
learn how to express our anger in appropriate, conscious,
supportive ways. On its own, anger is neither good nor bad. It
can be used to hurt, or it can be used to heal. It may not be a
particularly pleasant emotion, but it's an important one. We can
all benefit from exploring the nature of anger.
Guy Williams, a friend of mine who also happens to be a minister
of Religious Science offers a tremendously insightful approach
for understanding anger. Guy says that anger arises from a
communication not delivered or an expectation not met. Anger is
actually a tertiary response: our initial responses are grief
and fear. First, we grieve the death of the expectation that was
not met. Next, we fear that things will never change. Finally,
we experience anger.
So few of us recognize that anger can be a positive, healing
response. When we allow ourselves to experience anger, it
focuses our minds, and strengthens our resolve. We discover
reserves of strength and power. Our anger is what gives us the
courage and the power to confront our fear that things will
never change, by creating change.
Let's consider an example. We expect that our boundaries will be
respected by others. When someone crosses a boundary, that
expectation has
not been met. The first thing we do is grieve
the death of the expectation that other people will respect our
boundaries. We feel unsafe because our boundary has been
violated. But we also experience fear. We're afraid that things
will never change: that our boundaries will not protect us
because other people will not honor them. Our anger, however, is
what allows us to change this. Our anger gives us the strength
to defend ourselves. Our anger gives us the power and the
courage to stand up and demand that our boundaries be respected.
Our anger, in fact, enables us to feel safe again. Expressing
our anger helps us to redefine and reinforce our boundaries. We
know we can defend ourselves, and therefore we feel safe.
When we don't express our anger in healthy, conscious ways, we
buy into the fear that things will never change. We feel unsafe.
More importantly, we expect that we will always feel unsafe.
Unexpressed anger inevitably turns to resentment and depression.
Anger is our call to awareness. Our anger encourages us to
become conscious of a limiting belief. The key to experiencing
anger in a healing way is to own our anger. We can then choose
how to express our anger. We do not need to lash out, nor do we
need to hurt anyone with our anger. Instead, we can choose to
alter our thinking, change the limiting belief, and reclaim
another piece of our true selves. When we embrace and understand
the true nature of anger, anger can empower us, and help us to
feel truly safe.
About the Author
Kevin B. Burk is the author of The Relationship Handbook: How to
Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life. Visit
http://www.everyrelationship.com for a FREE report on creating
AMAZING Relationships.
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| Science/AAAS | Table of Contents: 1 December 2006; 314 (5804) |
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