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Conversational Negative Self-talk
Most people don't even know they're doing it. Throughout the course of normal conversation, they bombard themselves with negative self-talk. Even people who are aware of the power of their words seem to miss some of the most commonly used...
Finding Spiritual Guidance
Copyright 2011 Ada Porat
There is spiritual guidance all around us... are you listening
for it?
Spiritual or inner guidance is available at all times,
everywhere. It is found in casual conversation, in books that
fall into our hands, in...
Gaining Wisdom
Motivation isn't enough Much good can be accomplished if we have the right motivation. This motivation often spawns from a defining moment that triggers us to say, "Enough!" However, motivation alone will not always get us to our goals-vision,...
It's Never Too Late to Say I Love You
Whew! I just barely survived a workshop in Sedona, Arizona, with only a fragment of my old sense of self in tact -- and that hanging by a thread. I was grateful for what I learned from the seminar leader Lester Levenson and for the positive...
Life Balance Coaching: Balance Work and Life Like a Pro
“Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise.” --Samuel Lover One of the most common complaints of clients who want life balance coaching is that their plate is fuller than full. From professional to business...
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Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part One
Have you heard of the FABS? The FABS are quadruplets; they are not identical but they are very, very similar! The FABS are: Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame. This quartet love to arrive, uninvited, at people's houses and literally stay forever. They will certainly stay as long as you allow them to; they never seem to get tired of hanging around and causing troubles for the unsuspecting host.
The FABS love to attach themselves to abused children, but they really lie in wait for anyone who is vulnerable. Children who have been abused learn early that the world is an unsafe place, and that they have no personal power with which to protect themselves. They internalize everything that is done to them, and believe everything that is said to them. This provides a fertile environment for the FABS to flourish in. And usually, all of the fear, anger, blame and shame is directed squarely at the self. The child feels at fault for everything that happens.
However, the FABS can move in on anyone at any time. When life becomes too stressful or hurtful, then it provides an opening for the FABS to move in. Whenever a person feels guilty for their actions then the side door opens and the FABS can sneak in.
FABS live in the dark. They tend to hide in the dark corners of our minds, avoiding the light of day at all costs. If the sun were to shine on the FABS then it is very likely that the host would take immediate steps to eliminate them. It is much easier to lurk in the subconscious and just spring out whenever the opportunity presents itself. Then the FABS kick in and keep the host from moving forward in their lives.
Some of the symptoms of FABS in
your life are:
Feeling as if everything that happens is your “fault”
Constant apologizing
Feelings of depression and unworthiness
Getting stuck in bad relationships
Always being a “giver”
Surrounding yourself with “takers”
Being afraid of change
Never standing up for oneself
Being overweight
Back problems
People infested with FABS are often overweight because they use food as a medication, unknowingly trying to eliminate the pain that FABS causes; or they use weight as protection against an uncertain and painful world. Excess weight can be a wonderful buffer, and can become as comforting as a favorite blanket. FABS sufferers often have back problems as well, because they consciously or unconsciously feel that they have no support in their lives. Lack of emotional support=back pain!
Once FABS have moved into your life they are extremely hard to get rid of, but not impossible by any means! It takes work, dedication and a real desire to get them out of your life. You may need a good FABS exterminator, which can be a therapist or a personal coach. Getting rid of the FABS in your life is a very important step to take, no matter how difficult it may be. Once they are gone, you cannot imagine how good life will feel, how bright the sun shines and how far you can go on your path!
About the Author
Sibyl McLendon is 1/2 Navajo, and is a personal spiritual coach for Circle Of Grace http://www.circle-of-grace.com.
Circle Of Grace is a unique blending of Native American spirituality and holistic wellness coaching. Sign up for a free coaching session!
Sibyl can be contacted at gracecircle99@netscape.net
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