Are you happy?

This question is likely to bring either a defensive response like `Of course I am!’ or a bemused reply of , `No, should I be?’

Happiness is such a simple, natural concept and yet it seems so hard for the average person to attain. Most os us are really bad at being happy!

Why on earth should this be so? Firstly, let’s explode some myths and then we can look at some strategies for allowing happiness into our lives.

Myths about happiness:

*Happiness is somewhere `out there’ and we have to find it
*It’s associated with goals, places, people, events
*I can GET happiness and MAKE others happy too
*Happiness is basically unattainable and certainly fleeting
*It has to be earned.
*It’s elusive and in the future somewhere
*You need a reason to be happy.

Sounds familiar?

Happiness lives within us, never outside of us. Therefore, it cannot come from external sources. The joy we get from things outside is the cream on the cake, an extra bonus but it can never be the whole story. Relying on people, places and events to make us happy is the ultimate fantasy. It can only bring transitory pleasure and disappointment in the end.

There is no need to try to get happiness because it is your natural birthright. It exists deep within you like a constant well-spring - infinite, always available, powerful. Imagine knowing that you can be happy at any time and forever, without having to do anything to earn it or make it happen.

As happiness is linked to the life-source energy, like sexuality, creativity, spirituality and joy, it rests in the individual and therefore, cannot be bestowed by one person on another. This is one of our greatest myths - that we can make each other happy. At best, it is a romantic illusion created by songs, literature and popular culture. At worst, it causes a great deal of society’s heartache as this mistaken idea is taken into marriage and other relationships where it can only be ground into dust by the heavy foot of disillusionment. The saddest part is that we don’t need to suffer if only we are prepared to accept responsibility for our own happiness. It works both ways. If no-one has to make you happy, neither do you have to do it for others. Think how liberating that is! It isn’t selfish or uncaring because as you feel your own happiness, you’ll have more to share with others, anyway.

Happiness is a choice. All you have to do is open yourself up to it and it’ll be there continuously.
The type of happiness that is possible on a permanent level is the

About the Author: Dr Charmaine Saunders is a therapist, columnist, media personality, lecturer and author of 6 self-help books. Her web site is at www.charmainesaunders.com