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10 Steps to a Stress-Free Holiday
“The stress-free way to enjoy the holidays is to plan, take one step at a time, and have a sense of humor.” Beth Tabak Can you feel the holiday jitters beginning? Suddenly there it is right around the corner. Relax! Take time to plan well now and...

Individualized Positive Affirmations For Improving Self-Esteem
Positive self-esteem is very important if not crucial to our happiness and well being as a human being. Having positive self-esteem can make the difference in that which we take on in life, in that which we go about achieving and creating. Having...

Magic Spells - Paranormal Cures Or Mind Over Matter?
For thousands of years, civilizations all over the world have relied on their faith in spiritual or mystical powers to accomplish truly amazing feats. Long before modern medicine came on the scene, most health concerns were traditionally handled...

On being a foreigner
I have heard one too many foreigners complain about their adopted country. Granted, for some, being transplanted from a culture to another was not part of their life ultimate goals, but circumstances forced a move from a loved and...

You Gotta Be Positive!
The most uplifting, encouraging and energizing songs I’d ever heard. Don’t’ believe me? Well, here is the chorus: “You Gotta Be Bad, You Gotta Be Bold, You Gotta Be Wiser. You Gotta Be Hard, You Gotta Be Tough, You Gotta Be Stronger. You...

 
How Do You Build Self-Confidence?

Years ago while running an at-home daycare, I came to realize that we're all born with an innate sense of self-confidence. Every single child under the age of five that I have ever observed has had a strong self-confidence in at least one area of their life. Most kids had confidence in all areas of their lives. It seems to me that they systematically lose that confidence and it's replaced by an inner critic. Quite often it's the child's home life, but sometimes it's the schools, neighborhood kids, extended family, or some other person who unknowingly destroys the child's belief in themselves. Children have to be told they aren't good enough, strong enough, smart enough, talented enough to accomplish whatever it is they're trying to do. Unfortunately, most of us are told exactly that. So, how do we rebuild that sense of self-confidence?

The first thing I want you to do is to imagine that you had an ideal loving emotionally supportive childhood. Think about what kind of person you would have been if you had been raised to believe in yourself and in your natural gifts and talents. What were those gifts and talents? What were you really good at? What kinds of activities came easy for you? Now write down a list of talents, traits, attributes, and gifts that you loved and probably excelled at before you were convinced that you weren't any good at them. Choose items from that list for the next step.

Self-confidence is broken a piece at a time. So you're going to rebuild it a piece at a time. Pick things from your list and plan out tiny baby steps. Were you meant to be a great artist? Then start out by doodling. Just start carrying a pencil and paper around with you and allow yourself to absentmindedly doodle little pictures. Eventually, allow the passion to find it's way through you and you will begin to draw bigger and better, adding paints or whatever medium you were always meant to use. Were you supposed to be a musician? Then start humming little tunes in your head, begin playing around with an instrument. If it's possible, carry an instrument around with you and whenever you're bored or have some downtime, just sit and absentmindedly allow your fingers to play with it until the music within you begins calling to you again. Whatever the thing, pick something from your list and begin to play with it without paying a lot of attention to being perfect or talented or anything else. Just hold the tools and space out awhile so that you can get out of your own self-consciousness and just play with the tools. Nobody has to know if you don't want them to.

Repeat this process as much as you can. Keep picking up pieces of yourself on that list and adding them back into your sense of self. Don't wait until you've become really good at the first new skill before picking up another one. Just play with each item on your list as the mood crosses you. There's no need to beat yourself up for not being super talented because in reality all you are doing is simply playing with toys that remind you of your childhood. Allow your inner child, inner teenager, inner artist, inner musician to simply play. Eventually, you will come


to realize one day that you do have natural gifts and talents and that will go a long way towards building your self-confidence.

That's all good and well if your confidence problems center around skills, but what if your lack of self-confidence happens to be in the interpersonal relationships area? Are you painfully shy? Too afraid of rejection to even reach out to connect with others? Do you beat yourself up for not looking just so? Depending on the severity of your self-sabotaging belief system, you may want to get a professional therapist to help you with this. If it's not too bad, but you have less self esteem then you would like to have, then ask someone that you trust to help you with this part. Ask your friend to point out examples of other people who look or act like you. For example, if you think you're fat and everyone says you're not, then have your friend point out to you other people who are built like you. Have them compare your figure to someone famous. Chances are they won't say Orson Wells! Few people are really horribly fat. Eventually, it'll sink in that you are not really as fat as you think you are. If you're really worried that people will think you're stupid or dull when they first meet you, then have your friend rehearse with you so that you can feel comfortable making small talk with new people.

What if through practicing a new skill or through working on social skills and your personal image with a friend, you find out that you need to actually work on something? Maybe you do have a few pounds to lose. Maybe you need singing lessons. Okay, so be it. That's not a reason to quit moving forward with building upon your fragile new sense of confidence. Just go get the help, the lessons, the workout routine, the coaching or whatever else it is that you need to continue moving forward. There will always be teachers and coaches of some sort because there will always be people reaching beyond where they already are. The only problem with a low self-confidence is that we stop giving ourselves permission to learn new things. The fact that we don't know how to be or do everything perfectly is not a good reason to lose confidence in ourselves. As long as you can play at new things and can learn, then you are able to improve and grow. At some point, turn around and look at how far you have come. Pride will show itself.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net.


Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net


 

Spirituality.com: from the Christian Science Publishing Society
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Spirituality - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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  • 10 basic health habits

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  • 3 questions 5 minutes a day make leaps towards greater balance in one single week with the shicka boom 5 minute morning balance ritual

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  • 9 ways to motivate yourself when you just dont feel like it

  • accessing your spiritual guidance

  • accurate psychic advice

  • adam as jesus

  • addiction to spirituality

  • alone at christmas

  • amazing faith

  • anam cara making sense of your life

  • angels by our side

  • angel to angel

  • anorexia a game of control

  • another reality tv show or a reality check

  • any experience can change your life

  • any job is an honorable job

  • an introduction to dream interpretation

  • are your goals exciting

  • are you a victim of fabs part 2

  • are you a victim of fabs part one

  • are you fed up

  • are you part of the wake up crew

  • are you ready to handle an indigo child

  • are you ready to listen lets talk

  • are you willing to prosper

  • aromatherapy to awaken your sexual spirit

  • article hurried women syndrome

  • a crash course in tarot for newbies 1

  • a daily refreshment

  • a kernel of truth about relationships 4 steps to improvement

  • a kernel of truth about relationships 5 steps to improvement

  • a life of fun

  • a personal mission statement arghh

  • a proven way that women can quit drinking without aa

  • a secret organisation short story on a possible future

  • a vision of a new morality

  • a word about dream analysis and interpretation

  • back problems and pain the emotion connection

  • beyond smart goals

  • be your own best friend

  • bless your child with the name

  • bringing spirituality to the workplace

  • cailleach the goddess of life and death

  • calling all writers its party time

  • care and maintenance of the human hard drive

  • cheerleaders

  • choose a life mate dont wait for a soul mate

  • choosing our parents

  • christmas for one mental health over the holidays

  • clocks seasons and cycles

  • colour your diet

  • components of a life purpose

  • control your own destiniy

  • control your own destiny

  • conversational negative self talk

  • coping with holiday stress

  • courage is a gift

  • creating miracles with passion

  • creating sacred space in your home office or garden

  • creating the life you desire with ten daily habits

  • cultivate a friendship with death

  • dating site review eharmony

  • dealing with aggression

  • demanding miracles

  • developing personal depth

  • discover the missing key to improving your health

  • discover the upside of anger

  • discover what you really want to do

  • discover who you are and why you are here

  • divining your karmic number

  • divining your life path number

  • divining your number of destiny

  • does prayer really work

  • do not believe all you read in the holy books

  • do we need meditation

  • do we really need god

  • do what you love love what you do

  • dream interpretation archetypal symbols in dreams

  • dream interpretation common items and their meanings

  • dream interpretation dreams about houses

  • dream yourself into your life

  • drug rehab 12 steps or less

  • earning money from home when you have chronic fatigue syndrome fibromyalgia

  • economic justice

  • eliminating trans fatty chaos

  • embracing your wildness

  • emotional baggage

  • entrepreneurs prayer

  • everybody wants to rule the world

  • fairies and mental health

  • faith and depression

  • fear of rejection

  • feelings and attitudes

  • female masturbation excessive indulgence and how to contain the act

  • feminism

  • finding direction finding passion series 2 of 3

  • finding spiritual guidance

  • finding yourself finding passion series 1 of 3

  • finding your inner flame finding passion series 3 of 3

  • fitness

  • fitness of the mind

  • fit for what

  • fit people can sometimes be unwell and well people can sometimes be unfit

  • five ways to expand your comfort zone

  • focus your light earning money from home when you have chronic fatigue syndrome fibromyalgia

  • forgiveness stories definition quotes power to forgive vested with human beings

  • freedom

  • gaining wisdom

  • giving up too soon

  • gods abiding love

  • god our best friend

  • going gaga over yoga

  • good grief

  • happiness

  • have you seen my boss

  • heal thyself first

  • heal your child within

  • higher self growing inside of us

  • holiday fun for singles

  • holistic drug and alcohol rehabilitation for the 21st century fact or fiction

  • holistic is not a four lettered word

  • holistic junction explains why healing arts and massage schools are vital to the medical community

  • how do you build self confidence

  • how do you react

  • how to choose your ideal career

  • how to cope with big cities aggression

  • how to cope with cancer

  • how to decorate a room for just 35

  • how to get everything you want out of life

  • how to have true intimacy in your relationship

  • how to live a balanced life

  • how to save your marriage

  • hurried woman syndrome 5 tips to get the balance back

  • if you really want to help the victims of katrina

  • im fighting this war too in my way

  • im sorry but

  • index

  • individualistic sucess models

  • individualized positive affirmations for improving self esteem

  • infidelity discovered 10 ways to calm your powerful feelings

  • introduction to flower essences

  • in search of self

  • in the begining

  • is america losing its religion

  • is america ready for a low carb spiritual diet

  • is there any way out of this mess

  • is there a place for god in the corporate world

  • is your soulmate an idiot

  • its more important than batting practice

  • its never too late to say i love you

  • its not my job to free tibet

  • its not what you think

  • i am really worried about the future

  • i want to create

  • jesus birthday sacred children series 2 of 3

  • jesus christ one can reach god only through him is this statement correct

  • just do it

  • keeping faith

  • keep good company

  • keys to prosperity

  • kundalini awakening definition and the path

  • largest pagan occult and new age gathering the chicagoland area has ever seen

  • learn about love by reading poetry by a long dead poet named rumi

  • letter to a katrina survivor

  • letting go of our negativity

  • lies kill hearts

  • life balance coaching

  • life balance coaching balance work and life like a pro

  • limiting perceptions and broadening horizons

  • limits of perception

  • live the dream

  • love and light

  • love is in the air five steps into joyful abundance

  • love vs fear volume 18

  • low carb and lowfat diets a scam

  • magic spells paranormal cures or mind over matter

  • make 2002 your best year ever

  • making better decisions

  • making new friends

  • male masturbation excessive indulgence and steps to control the act

  • management from within

  • mary poppins and the principle that life is supposed to be fun

  • masculine energy versus feminine energy

  • medical miracle or mistake

  • mental diet food for the soul

  • mindfulness and neuroscience lets make a deal

  • mind body spirit healing vs traditional psychotherapy psychoanalysis

  • moksha salvation in hinduism highlights concept and the path

  • more magical affirmations

  • most of our troubles are bought about by exercising our own free will

  • muraqaba the sufi meditation

  • music our connection to the higher conscious

  • mystical or mind over matter the truth about magic spells

  • mythology parables in modern communication part 2

  • my inner what

  • negotiation strategies especially for couples

  • new age motivational tools

  • new age spirituality

  • new age world government

  • nothing ever stays the same

  • nothing is darker than midnight and it lasts one minute

  • no invitation needed sacred children series 3 of 3

  • nurturing your spirit

  • one humanity

  • one life to live make the best of it

  • on being a foreigner

  • origin of certain thoughts part i

  • origin of certain thoughts part ii

  • our feelings and attitudes around happily ever after

  • out of the closet

  • passions search for destiny

  • passion and soulfulness

  • passion versus detachment

  • passion vs detachment

  • pathological eating disorders and poly behavioral addiction

  • path to healing

  • pen pal romance

  • personals chrsitian online dating

  • petitioning for your needs

  • philosophy and cancer treatment

  • pioneering insanity

  • playing the numbers home buying and selling

  • practice practice practice

  • psychic angels

  • putting spirit first goals for your soul

  • quick fixes happiness in a bottle

  • quick throw me a line

  • quiet reflection a b12 shot for the spirit

  • real spirituality

  • recreating yourself

  • regrets ive had a few healing through liberation from regret and denial

  • reincarnation sacred children series 1 of 3

  • relationship saver

  • religion and spirituality what differentiates religion from spirituality

  • religion and technology

  • religion and techology is 21st century religion only a click away from god

  • reveal the leader within

  • rewriting the story

  • rituals

  • rotator

  • running on empty

  • sacred sex

  • saints or charlatans

  • sanctification

  • searchers follow ancient traditions

  • search for and find your motivation

  • second time around the block

  • self care

  • self realization how it can be achieved within ones life time

  • sensual and spiritual erotic art

  • serenity

  • setting goals for success

  • sex and the soul

  • sex of the baby

  • shadows

  • shaking things up

  • short story a possible future

  • should you forgive infidelity

  • sole work walking the spiritual path

  • so am i projecting our qualities

  • spirituality and success bridging the gap

  • spirituality blues for buddha

  • spirituality enlightening cinema

  • spirituality impersonating jed mckenna

  • spirituality the bottom line

  • spiritual and sexual healing

  • spiritual fitness get your chakras in shape

  • spiritual identification

  • spiritual marketing

  • spiritual partners

  • stop scoring own goals

  • stress exercise how do i make it work for me

  • stress performance how much is just right

  • stress self esteem raising one by lowering the other

  • stress spirituality part 1

  • surrender if you wish to conquer

  • take a look around do you think things are balanced in our world

  • taking back christmas

  • taking personal stock

  • tarot cards tarot readings

  • teaching the body health

  • tempering temper

  • ten powerful keys to healing yourself

  • ten powerful keys to unlocking health

  • these are the signs of the times

  • the aggression of big cities

  • the alchemy of real romance

  • the american dream are we really free

  • the art of giving pleasure out of fullness

  • the benefits of meditation tips and techniques

  • the blissful union of wellness and fitness

  • the choice

  • the cliche of balance

  • the coach approach

  • the dating scene signs of a promising relationship

  • the disciplines of success

  • the dollar bill game

  • the endless pursuit of happiness

  • the first ninety days

  • the first step

  • the five essential secrets of managing your energy successfully

  • the five keys to stress control

  • the four elements

  • the freedom to fall

  • the good the bad and the ugly

  • the importance of spirituality

  • the joan of arc complex

  • the joy of tantric massage

  • the kabbalah of rosh hashana from tears to transformation

  • the kabbalah of yom kippur rising above time

  • the law of attraction in action

  • the leadership development plan

  • the loneliness of personal growth

  • the new age movement

  • the non existing i

  • the pleasure of simple things

  • the power of intention

  • the power of our thoughts

  • the power of personal environments

  • the power of positive affirmations

  • the power of witnessing and segment intending

  • the pursuit of happiness

  • the reality of fairies

  • the real kama sutra is not tantra but heres why you should be interested in both

  • the road to inner peace

  • the spirit of change

  • the subconscious link to our computer desktop

  • the three you

  • the toilet philosophy

  • the top 10 design tools for enhancing your spiritual connectedness

  • the value of affirmations

  • the writer as activist

  • things are good because i say they are

  • this was not my plan

  • time do you spend it or invest it

  • time do you spend or invest it

  • top 10 powerful keys to healing yourself

  • toxic friendships

  • to be is to become

  • to find balance retreat

  • to hell in a handbasket men who crash and burn

  • to lie or not to lie

  • to love forever

  • to witness t he l ife t hat is god

  • training or television working out when youre not well

  • trends in gift giving jewelry a timeless favorite

  • trusting the universe or not

  • turning obstacles into blessings

  • two types of spirituality faith and knowledge

  • wellness

  • wellness of the mind

  • we all send signals

  • we shouldnt have burnt the witches philosophy and cancer treatment

  • what if i fall flat on my face

  • what in the world is life coaching

  • what is ayurvedic medicine

  • what is enlightenment meaning definition and its relation to self realization

  • what is reiki

  • what is yoga

  • what is your recovery rate

  • what is your world view

  • what i learned from a parakeet

  • what kind of yoga and meditation leads to gaining enlightenment in this life

  • what will we do

  • whose thought is it anyway

  • who is pushing your buttons

  • who is the inner critic

  • why being spiritual can get you nowhere

  • why is this happening to me again an interview with dr michael ryce

  • why keep a journal

  • why make a new years resolution when you can make a one decision

  • why my man behaving strangely

  • why should we keep our thoughts clear

  • will yoga help you lose more weight

  • worldly balance

  • yoga and meditation that leads to gaining enlightenment in this life

  • your life your values

  • your money or your life

  • you are never alone

  • you can influence your fortunes in life

  • you gotta be

  • you gotta be positive