|
|
|
Keep Good Company
Do you have the courage to reach your goals? Do you have the courage to succeed? Do you have the courage to mix with the people who can change your life. Do you have the courage to walk away from those who keep you in your place? If you really want...
Path to Healing
It is within us to explore and draw upon our inner resources to heal. Some wounds are embedded so deeply that no amount of professional expertise can cure, much less heal.
A famous Yale surgeon says that as a surgeon, he cuts into the body,...
The New Age Movement
New Age - A Paradigm Shift to Divine Consciousness & a Universal Philosophy
The New Age Movement (NAM) is a revival of spiritual and divine values and can be called as a Divine Regeneration Movement. New Age Philosophy has conquered the...
Why is this Happening to Me Again? An Interview with Dr. Michael Ryce
Would you like to learn how you can live forever...and find peace and well-being too? Dr. Michael Ryce has the answers... On first impression, Dr. Michael Ryce left an indelible mark on my perception of both metaphysical and physiological...
You Gotta Be Positive!
The most uplifting, encouraging and energizing songs I’d ever heard. Don’t’ believe me? Well, here is the chorus: “You Gotta Be Bad, You Gotta Be Bold, You Gotta Be Wiser. You Gotta Be Hard, You Gotta Be Tough, You Gotta Be Stronger. You...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Regrets, I’ve had a few: healing through liberation from regret and denial
Like probably every fellow human being alive today, I’ve done things in my life that I’ve later regretted. Certain actions will fail to meet our own or others’ standards of behaviour, and when faced with such acts, most of us will opt for one of two reactions:
1) Regretting our actions, and wishing them undone or,
2) Denying that they were wrong, or denying that it was our fault by blaming someone else, or denying that there was any lapse in the first place!
Even if we accept to the world and to ourselves that we were wrong, it is very difficult not to regret or to indulge in a spot of denial; as a species we are very adept at justifying ourselves.
I tend to engage in regret, and in the past, this has brought me to my knees, in tears, praying for things to be undone. But they can’t be undone. So should I go into denial - or blame someone else?
Having read the teachings of Buddha, one of the first things I learnt of was the first Noble Truth, or path to enlightenment: that the nature of life is suffering.
By this Buddha meant that all human beings wish to experience a lasting happiness, but that no one can live a life without experiencing problems and setbacks that reduce our happiness. Happiness based on improving our external situation is therefore doomed to failure, because we will all suffer setbacks at some point. True happiness must be sought from within, not by seeking more wealth, a bigger car, a nose job, or a new partner.
If we can develop and maintain a calm and happy mind, regardless of our material situation, then we can’t be disappointed by setbacks, and so we will break the cycle of suffering. And that’s where regret and denial come in.
When we regret our past actions, or when we deny responsibility for them, or the outcome of them, we are suffering. When we blame someone else for our woes, like a boomerang the hurt flies back to us. While we’re regretting and blaming and denying what’s been done, we’re trapped in the eternal circle of suffering, or samara, the Buddhist cycle of life and death pervaded by suffering.
I can’t take credit for the solution – but thinking it through, the only real answer to the question “how do we heal ourselves and move on from regret, blame and denial?” is the answer provided by Buddha –to think beyond yourself
and your own suffering.
I’m no different from you, and you’re no different from the person down the street. We all experience suffering in one way or another, and we all share certain suffering – beggar or king, we’re all born, we all grow old or sicken or suffer an accident, and die. We all lose loved ones. We are all trapped in samsara, in suffering.
But there is an answer, and a way to liberate ourselves, and others, from the pain of suffering. Let go of regret. Let go of blame, and denial. Realise that everyone feels pain, and take some time to lessen, by however small a portion, the suffering of another. You may think your action will go unrewarded, or even unnoticed, but if we practise this enough, it will make a difference.
Think about it. You’ve had an argument with your best friend, and you’re hurt and upset. They said some nasty things, and it hurts. You deny that you started it, but you may also regret harsh words spoken in anger. You’re both suffering. You can both engage in regret, blame and denial, or you can extend forgiveness, bearing in mind that your friend is also suffering. So you say sorry first, and let go of the anger, the pain, and the regret. Your friend will hopefully recognise your compassion, and may be inspired to commit a similar selfless act to someone else in turn.
By letting go of your pain, you liberate yourself and others from suffering. Maybe not the first time. Maybe your altruism will go unrewarded, but stick with it – only you can make you happy, and the first step is to accept this awesome responsibility towards yourself.
By striving to live life in a spirit of responsibility towards yourself and others, your compassion will grow, and your regret and denial will become apparent for the waste of time and energy they are.
Just as no one else can be happy for you, no one else can be responsible for taking away your unhappiness, your regret, your suffering, your samsara.
About the author:
As well as enjoying writing holistic articles, Margaret McGoverne is the founder of The Holistic Shop.com website, a new experience in online shopping for gifts and products that promote a holistic approach to health, relaxation and spirituality. You can email Margaret at: margaret@theholisticshop.com
|
|
|
|
|
| Spirituality.com: from the Christian Science Publishing Society |
| Christian Science Publishing Society presents spirituality.com -- practical spirituality and healing prayer explored through feature articles, ... |
| www.spirituality.com |
|
| Spirituality - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Spirituality, in a narrow sense, concerns itself with matters of the spirit. The spiritual, involving (as it may) perceived eternal verities regarding ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| SFT - December 2006 - Home Page |
| Spirituality for Today is an interactive monthly magazine dedicated to a variety of current themes and questions concerning the Christian faith in this ... |
| www.spirituality.org |
|
| Spirituality & Health |
| Ideas and advice about practices, products, self-tests, news and essays, and a virtual community dedicated to leading a more spiritually fulfilling and ... |
| www.spiritualityhealth.com |
|
| Indiatimes - Spirituality |
| You can consult our panel of experts on spiritual and mental probems. ... Jagjit Singh: Spirituality is a way of life I have faith in a Higher Power, ... |
| spirituality.indiatimes.com |
|
| NATIVE AMERICAN SPIRITUALITY |
| A general overview with quotes, essays, and links. |
| www.religioustolerance.org |
|
| NEW AGE SPIRITUALITY |
| In-depth article defines the New Age movement and some of the core beliefs, explains the traditions from which it is rooted, describes the confusions caused ... |
| www.religioustolerance.org |
|
| Spirituality - kabbalah inspiration prayer |
| Add inspiration to your life by discovering jewish spirituality, kabbalah and prayer on aish.com. Read a daily lift and be inspired. |
| www.aish.com |
|
| All Things Spiritual Directory |
| A searchable directory of thousands of spiritual and religious websites. Includes all major topic areas relating to spirituality and religion, ... |
| www.allspiritual.com |
|
| Holistic Spirituality -- Beliefnet.com |
| Holistic Spirituality Homepage. ... Holistic Spirituality. The Past Life of Your First Kiss. Interview by Laura Sheahen. With a new book on reincarnation, ... |
| www.beliefnet.com |
|
| Beliefnet.com |
| Features articles on God, faith, prayer, the nature of spirituality, society and ethics, with numerous resources. All religions respected. |
| www.beliefnet.com |
|
| Religion and Spirituality in the Yahoo! Directory |
| Yahoo! reviewed these sites and found them related to Religion and Spirituality. |
| dir.yahoo.com |
|
| About - Religion & Spirituality |
| Get information and resources on spirituality and world religions from Christianity to Islam to Judaism. Our religious experts offer insight on where ... |
| about.com |
|
| Spirituality |
| The Orthodox Church proclaims the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In the Greek language, the word for Gospel is Evangelion which means literally "the good news. |
| www.goarch.org |
|
| reasoned spirituality a logical exploration of life |
| A philosophical exploration of spirituality, human behaviour, and the quest for the meaning of life. |
| www.reasoned.org |
|
| Spirituality - AllAboutSpirituality.org |
| Spirituality - Learn about the spirit world and why people are fascinated by mystical experiences. Discover a real and personal spirituality. |
| www.allaboutspirituality.org |
|
| Spirituality |
| The three foundational characteristics of spirituality are Faith, ... Join forces with others who have a healthy spirituality in their own lives. ... |
| www.coping.org |
|
| .:: Jesus : spirituality::. |
| This section of rejesus.co.uk focuses on prayer and meditation offering resources for daily prayer, learning about spirituality and a virtual labyrinth to ... |
| www.rejesus.co.uk |
|
| Science of Spirituality |
| An organization committed to a spiritual way of life based on meditation and service to others. News, events, and resources. |
| www.sos.org |
|
| Spirituality: See what people are saying right now on Technorati |
| See all blog posts tagged with spirituality on Technorati. |
| www.technorati.com |
|
|