Search
Related Links

 

 

Informative Articles

13 Ways to Improve your Perseverance Quotient
You may not have control over what happens to you in every season or cycle of your life, but you most certainly have a choice as to how you deal with everything that happens to you. You may experience health problems, business setbacks and...
DE-STRESSING DECEMBER. Ten Tips For A Stress-Free Holiday Season
DE-STRESSING DECEMBER Ten Tips For A Stress-Free Holiday Season If the normally joyous holiday season makes you nervous, anxious and stressed out from anticipation, there is hope for you. Below are ten tips for reducing your holiday stress level...
Dieting Your Way to Stress Management
You may notice that you reach for the potato chips when a television program becomes particularly frightening. Or you grab the crackers at work when you learn that you'll have to handle a new project. You may also nibble on candy bars when...
Practical Ways to Keep Your ADD Under Control During the Holiday Season
Do November’s Thanksgiving experiences have you dreading the December holidays? The idea of gifts, family, and days off sounds great…but we all know that holidays are some of the most stressful times of the year. When an ADDer starts to become...
Stress Originates From The Mind But Devastates The Body
The doctor’s waiting rooms are full of anxiety. The hospitals contain lots of nervousness, tension and worry. Millions of people are staying home from work every day because of affliction, apprehensiveness, nervous tension and restlessness. Another...
 
5 Steps to Adjusting Your Expectations

Dateline: January 4th. Orange County Anger Management class participants review anger triggers of the week.
Jane, age 23, engaged to be married: “My boyfriend openly flirts with other women in front of me.”

Jim, age 40, an IT professional: “a work group back East didn’t finish their project on time, which made our progress look bad – I blew up!”

Joe, age 46, successful business owner and young grandfather: “I get so mad at everyone that my daughter won’t let me see my grandchild. Now, I’m angry at my daughter, too.”

Mary, age 38: “I am constantly yelling at my two teenagers because they won’t do what I tell them to.”

Nancy, married 28 year old successful writer who goes into period rages toward her equally successful husband: “I can’t stand that he never picks up his clothes and he doesn’t do things around the house that he says he will do.”

Alex, a 50 year old salesman in class because of road rage: “ I can’t stand it when people cut in front of me on the freeway… it makes me crazy.”

Different Anger, Common Cause

In all cases, the cause of the anger isn’t what happened to these basically normal people; rather it is how they assessed or evaluated what happened.

Anger often results from comparing the behavior of others to your expectations. Sometimes it’s a reasonable thing to do that, but more often it’s not because we have unreasonably high, and sometimes just plain wrong, expectations of ourselves and those around us.

We can thus say that anger is caused by the discrepancy between what we expect and what we get. Indeed, the definition of expectation is “eager anticipation.”

Our Goal

It’s important to figure out exactly what “reasonable” means in terms of expectations of yourself and others. If your expectations are too low, you’ll feel cheated in life – or worse – that you are “settling.”

On the other hand, if your expectations are too high, then reality will suffer from comparisons to expectation – and you may experience disappointment and other anger reactions.

Adjusting Your Expectations

Step 1: Decide what is reasonable. This may be tricky


because different people have different ideas of this. One way to do it is to think about it when you are calm and cool. Many things that seem “reasonable” when you are worked up, later seem ridiculous and petty.

Step 2: Eliminate the word “should.” None of us can control other people, try as we might. People behave the way they behave for their own reasons.

Instead of “should-ing” others, state needs from your own perspective, i.e., “I’d prefer if…” instead of “They should…”

Step 3: Recognize limitations. People often behave badly toward us because of their limitations or problems, not because they are purposefully trying to make us miserable. People are fallible and may not be able to live up to our expectations, or they may have a different agenda than meeting your expectations.

Relationships have their limitations. Marital research shows that 69% of relationship issues are basically unsolvable and perpetual. Wise couples accept this and find ways to live around the issues, rather than engaging in constant conflict.

Step 4: Be tolerant of other views. Rather than convincing yourself that others are “wrong.” Tell yourself they simply see things differently than you do. No need to get angry over this – they may be as convinced of their “truth” as you are of yours!

Step 5: Explore ways to get needs met. The underlying reason we often get angry at others is because our basic needs are not being met as a result of the situation or the behavior of the other.

Rather than getting angry, we need to consider two more effective ways to deal with the situation:

1. Honestly communicate your unsatisfied needs to others.
2. Explore alternative ways to satisfy your needs. Take responsibility for your own needs and find workable and acceptable ways of satisfying them.

2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved. Dr. Tony Fiore (www.angercoach.com) is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at www.angercoach.com

 

Stress Management Tips and Techniques from Mind Tools
More than 100 stress management tips and techniques, helping you manage the job-related stress in your life.
www.mindtools.com
 
Stress Management Techniques, Stress Relief & Stress Reduction ...
Mind Tools helps you manage the causes of stress and teaches useful stress management techniques.
www.mindtools.com
 
Stress Management
Stress Management. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has physical ...
www.ivf.com
 
Stress Management: Information and Resources on Stress From About.com
Find a wide variety of stress management strategies you can use in your daily life. Learn about the causes and effects of stress, healthy and effective ...
stress.about.com
 
Stress Management
Links to stress management information on the web.
www.pp.okstate.edu
 
Links to Stress Related Resources
Return to the Stress Management and Emotional Wellness Page ... Cognitive Restructuring Approaches to Stress Management ...
www.imt.net
 
International Stress Management Association(UK)
The leading professional body for stress management. The ISMA website has articles from their journal Stress News, links and general advice on lifestyle and ...
www.isma.org.uk
 
Stress Management for Patient and Physician
Stress management for patient and physician. Stress is the most common cause of ill health, probably underlying as many as 70% of all visits to family ...
www.mentalhealth.com
 
Stress Management: Counseling Services, University at Buffalo
The description on stress management. ... Stress Management. Introduction Stress is a part of day to day living. As college students you may experience ...
ub-counseling.buffalo.edu
 
Stress Management and Anxiety Relief
Welcome to stressmanagement.co.uk - We specialise in managing your stress.
www.stressmanagement.co.uk
 
Stress Management for effective ways to manage stress
Our stress management services allows you to find the solutions to all types of stress. We also have professional stress management counsellors available 7 ...
www.stressmanagement.com.au
 
Stress Management--UIUC Counseling Center
Self-help Brochures. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; ...
www.couns.uiuc.edu
 
The Stress Management Society
Congratulations to taking the first step to freedom from the stress trap. This is the place to learn more about stress and its management.
www.stress.org.uk
 
Stress management - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Stress management encompasses techniques intended to equip a person with effective ... Definition of stress: Stress management defines stress precisely as a ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
Stress
Stress Management. Everyone experiences stress from time to time, so it is perfectly normal ... Fortunately, stress management is largely a learnable skill. ...
www.cyberpsych.com
 
SBC Academic Resource Center | Stress Management
With stress management training, you can learn to avoid procrastination and other stress-producing situations. Stress Quiz: How Stressed Are You? ...
www.arc.sbc.edu
 
Mind Tools - How to Master Stress
3. Stress Management Techniques. Raising Stress Levels - Psyching Up · Stress Reduction Techniques · Reducing Short-Term Stress - Mental Techniques ...
www.psywww.com
 
Stress, stress management, occupational stress, stress prevention ...
A recent survey showed that 70-90% of us feel stressed at work and outside. Unless we learn to manage stress, we will get sick.
www.holisticonline.com
 
HSE - Stress Management Standards Homepage
The International Stress Management Association has produced a leaflet showing how employees can work with their employers to tackle work-related stress ...
www.hse.gov.uk
 
Stress Management Tips for Stressed and Overworked People.
Free weekly stress management tips and relaxation CD plus practical resources for stressed people.
www.stresstips.com
 
 

 
Content Menu
  • 10 natural ways to reduce stress and strengthen your immune system includes a recipe for banana strawberry power smoothie

  • 10 natural ways to reduce stress and strengthen your immune system with banana strawberry power smoothie recipe

  • 10 things i learned about divorce vicki lansky

  • 10 things to consider if you have an impossible manager

  • 10 tips for practicing positive thinking as a tool for managing add

  • 10 warning signs that youre ready for a career transition

  • 10 ways to overcome procrastination the challenge for tomorrow

  • 13 ways to improve your perseverance quotient

  • 14 practical methods to combat stress

  • 21st century career success

  • 2 ancient methods combined together make a modern 2 minute stress relief technique

  • 3 methods for clearing mental clutter

  • 4 steps to assertive communication

  • 4 steps to teaching your family to treat you better

  • 5 result getting time management tips

  • 5 steps to adjusting your expectations

  • 5 steps to maintaining the rhythm of life the juggling act

  • 5 steps to raising optimistic children

  • 5 steps to responding rather than reacting to anger

  • 5 strategies for added effectiveness on the job

  • 5 tips to get more out of your work day

  • 5 tips to stress guard your family

  • 5 ways to fight pessimism

  • 6 practices for achieving excellent self care

  • 7 solutions for practical stress management

  • 8 essential skills for managing add

  • 8 ways to fill a workshop in a bum economy

  • acne and stress

  • acting as your own general contractor when building your dream home

  • adult acne a bumpy ride towards aging

  • age successfully its in your hands

  • alternative treatments for arthritis pain relief

  • andropause and depression

  • andropause and dhea

  • andropause and hair loss

  • anger and the american family 3 steps to diffuse family anger by changing your inner conversations

  • anger and the american family learn to respond rather than react

  • anger and your driving

  • anger and your driving how to cope with dangerous emotions

  • anger and your driving use self talk to create safer vistas

  • anger and your health how your outlook influences health and your ability to control anger

  • anxiety attacks

  • an add case study when the pace picks up learn to slow down

  • an introduction to acid reflux disease

  • argue with yourself and improve your health

  • as the primary care giver for an alzheimers patient how can i get a break

  • ayurvedic treatment of fibromyalgia cfs

  • a cruise ship moment

  • a look at acid reflux treatment

  • a look at arthritis americas leading cause of disability

  • book review stop picturing your audience naked

  • busting acne myths requires individualized treatment and more research

  • busy fish tips for changing your day from chaos to calm

  • change your attitude about exercise

  • change your life for the better

  • choose a stressless lifestyle

  • close kept secrets to weight loss lesson 4

  • combat stress

  • combat stress 7 practical methods

  • combat stress by creating your own oasis

  • comfortable affordable lab coats for the health care professional

  • corporate survival how to manage yourself in the political playing field

  • cortisol stress and body fat

  • crucial v not crucial

  • curing cancer

  • curing cancer the cure

  • cut stress through efficiencies

  • dealing with the difficult manager

  • de stressing december ten tips for a stress free holiday season

  • de stress your holidays six tips to help you have more joy at the holidays

  • dieting your way to stress management

  • discover how hallucination is a powerful method to gain control over your stress in under 5 minutes

  • discover what pink elephants and stress management have in common

  • dont cri part 2

  • dont give up your day job

  • do you have eczema or dermatitis

  • do you have undiagnosed hypoglycemia

  • do you suffer from the chef personality

  • eating healthy in a time starved world

  • effective stress management for those with busy lives

  • effects of stress on the body

  • eq vs iq

  • essential skills for managing adult add part 1 practicing excellent self care

  • exercise and the time clock

  • exploring the shoulds is it necessity desire or guilt

  • finding a diet plan that works for you

  • five instant ways to reduce environmental stress part 2

  • five instant ways to reduce environmental stress part two

  • five things you dont and should know about stress

  • five tips to de stress your life

  • five tips to reduce environmental stress

  • five ways to combat the blues and win

  • five ways to reduce environmental stress

  • five ways to reduce environmental stress part 1

  • five ways to reduce environmental stress part two

  • focus on fiber how much is enough

  • future technology quality may reflect past glories

  • gain back your time and eliminate stress

  • getting things done the art of stress free productivity

  • go ahead toss the starfish

  • guiltless contentment

  • headache hope through research

  • health and the economy

  • help for adult add learn to delegate

  • here is the best sourced advice concerning stress management

  • holistic stress management

  • how does whey protein affect my body

  • how empathy can reduce your anger

  • how healthy is your lifestyle

  • how important is it to stand apart from others in an interview and how difficult is it

  • how stressed out are you

  • how stressed out are you take this quiz and see how you rate on your stress level

  • how stress leads to obesity

  • how to combat stress

  • how to eliminate or manage stress

  • how to manage everyday stress

  • how to recognize stress before it turns into anger

  • how to reduce stress that causes hair loss and bad hair

  • how to stress less and smile more

  • ho ho holidays stress and eft

  • human conditiong stress management and music

  • human conditioning stress management and music

  • idiots guide to goal setting 5 steps to success

  • important facts you must know about dandruff

  • index

  • is a career a calling or choice

  • is your cardiovascular program meeting goals

  • its a shame for you not to reduce the appearance of existing signs of aging and help prevent the appearance of new lines and wrinkles

  • learning healthy habits from our children

  • learning how to become a good loser

  • life management skills for greater happiness

  • little known stress management tips techniques how to relax more worry less

  • low back pain ayurvedic management

  • lyndas triumph over epilepsy

  • managing stress and depression

  • massage therapy for health

  • media underload the stress reducing psych diet

  • menopause and anxiety

  • menopause and gastrintestinal distress

  • menopause and gastrointestinal distress

  • menopause and hair loss

  • menopause and loss of libido

  • menopause and mood swings

  • menopause and womens health

  • menopause relief

  • mental and physical stress

  • more time

  • music and emotion

  • naturally reduce stress and strengthen your immune system 10 ways to relax and rejuvenate

  • natural ways to reduce stress and strengthen your immune system includes recipe

  • new cds help to relieve stress and promote deep meditative states within minutes

  • new year new home new life or just more stress

  • nutrition for natural stress relief

  • obesity whats the big deal part 4

  • oppositional defiant disorder

  • overcoming stress seven ways to manage stress in the new year

  • path to prosperity

  • pesticides in food a major health hazard

  • pineapples the healing fruit of the tropics includes a recipe for pina banana orange smoothie

  • planning stress management

  • plan to manage holiday stress

  • possible acne messages

  • practical ways to keep your add under control during the holiday season

  • preventing headaches and reducing their impact

  • preventing mid career burnout article

  • pulling the roots of disease

  • quick weight loss

  • q tip it

  • reduce emotional stress with five coping strategies

  • rotator

  • savvy nutrition seven simple ways to eat healthy includes strawberry orange sorbet recipe

  • secrets to longevity

  • selecting the best wheelchair cushion

  • self help when youre in debt

  • serious about wanting to improve your familys healthy eating lifestyles

  • set yourself stress free

  • shhhhh

  • simple stress reduction

  • some time management tips

  • some time savers

  • some time savers 2

  • sorry whats your name again

  • splash your acne supplement expenses with food

  • stop relationship stress and create your own health remedies

  • stop stress now ten proven techniques

  • streamlining the preoperative process for the open heart surgery patient

  • stressed out

  • stressed out try these relaxation techniques

  • stress and depression are killing us

  • stress and health 8 of the worst causes of stress

  • stress exercise how do i make it work for me

  • stress facts

  • stress in the workplace

  • stress its a worldwide epidemic

  • stress making the doctors rich

  • stress management

  • stress management 10 tips for working mothers

  • stress management and relief the keys to health

  • stress management a self help guide

  • stress management by relaxation

  • stress management find your own relief

  • stress management for 2004 the rest of the story

  • stress management for the rest of us

  • stress management how a quick and simple exercise saved me from being driven to destruction by road rage

  • stress management medical risks of stress

  • stress management new age solutions

  • stress management the modern day dr jeckyll and mr hyde

  • stress management the power of a day

  • stress management tip balanced life style

  • stress management tip nutrition and stress

  • stress management tip reduce stress in the workplace

  • stress management tip time management

  • stress management worry lessening methods to approach stress

  • stress myths and misconceptions

  • stress originates from the mind but devastates the body

  • stress performance how much is just right

  • stress personal development when navel gazing turns nasty

  • stress prevention in a word no

  • stress relief

  • stress research the fight or flight response

  • stress self esteem 3 nurturing yourself

  • stress self esteem raising one by lowering the other

  • stress spirituality part 1

  • stress strategy flex your spiritual muscles

  • stress supplementation how is a supplement supposed to help with stress

  • stress supplementation part 4 putting supplements into context

  • stress symptoms

  • stress the devil within

  • stress the unseen killer

  • stress tips

  • stress work

  • successful change starts with a shift in perspective

  • success at work techniques a cluttered desk

  • take the die out of dieting tips for stress free weight loss

  • taking control of the stress in your life

  • taking the stress out of making decisions a wholistic approach

  • ten tips for setting and keeping life changing resolutions

  • the 7 stages of a romantic relationship

  • the abcs of stress management

  • the anger driven life five signs it might be yours and steps you can take to change

  • the art of forgiveness

  • the benefits of a memory foam mattress

  • the consequences of stress

  • the disciplines of success

  • the dying breed healthcare in eastern europe

  • the four work stresses of christmas

  • the high costs of anger part 2

  • the high cost of anger part 1

  • the modern steam bath a healing remedy for stress

  • the one thing you must add to your day

  • the power of simplicity in holistic living

  • the right medical equipment for you home or practice

  • the road to 25 hour days part one

  • the shocking truth about eight deadly diseases that may be affecting your health and lifestyle

  • the social web of stress simple solutions

  • the spirit of change

  • the stand out principle

  • the step to working smarter japanese style

  • the stress test

  • this generations stress and the resilience factor

  • three things you can do now to reduce stress

  • time management

  • tips for busy moms on stress managment

  • tips for reducing stress

  • tips to get motivated and overcome procrastination

  • top5 stress relief methods you can use

  • top 10 skills for new world of work

  • top 5 stress relief methods you can use

  • top 5 ways for an add adult to have a happy holiday

  • to hell in a handbasket men who crash and burn

  • traffic sales and headachy emails

  • twenty five time management tips

  • understanding your stress levels

  • until youve walked the path

  • using yoga to manage add

  • water water everywhere on the waterfront

  • whatever happened to proofreading

  • whats causing my depression and fatigue

  • whats with my hair falling out

  • what about your mattresses

  • what a frog can teach you about stress management

  • what can i do to improve my job interviewing skills

  • what is a career anyway

  • what is intution and how do i use it

  • what is stress

  • what is the key to a successful life

  • what not to put on your resume

  • what stress is

  • what you need to know to lose weight without dieting

  • why daily planning is so important for adults with add

  • why diets dont work for most people

  • why exercise bikes might be the ultimate fitness

  • why most people dont really want to heal part 2

  • winning the stress game

  • work related stress three mistakes executive women make

  • w h o gets cancer

  • yoga and arthritis a review

  • your favourite activity is a key to managing stress