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10 Tips for Practicing Positive Thinking as a Tool for Managing ADD
At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent...
Anger and The American Family: Learn to Respond Rather than React
Case #1. Brianna, 32, would get instantly outraged when her ex-husband threatened to file for custody of their two small children. Deciding to respond differently, she bit her tongue, and remained quiet when he began threatening an escalated legal...
Combat Stress - 7 Practical Methods
A stress-free lifestyle could very well do wonders in eliminating depression.
Here are 7 practical methods to combat stress:
1. Express Amusement And Be Happy.
Laugh hard and loud. If you don’t have a sense of humor, find someone else who...
Preventing Mid-Career Burnout Article
Jeremy had all the symptoms of mid-career burnout.
A 29-year-old buyer in the purchasing office of a Bay Area company for four years, he was having a hard time staying focused and completing projects at work. He also had low energy, no...
STRESS MANAGEMENT FOR 2004: The Rest of the Story
Perhaps you are like many of the people I talk to who have moved on from the stress of the holidays and are now feeling the stress of everyday life. Would you really like to reduce or even eliminate some of the stress rather than just “manage” it?...
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5 Steps to Raising Optimistic Children
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie who suffered from severe depression. Julie believed she was a total failure and would never be able to change anything in her life. Julie also felt all her shortcomings were her own fault.
Where, I ask myself, did such a young person acquire this negative and fatalistic thinking?
The answer soon became apparent when I invited her parents into the session. They began discussing numerous life events and explaining them in ways that their children were learning. The car, for example, got dented because you can’t trust anybody these days; Mom yelled at brother because she was in a bad mood; you can’t get ahead in this world unless you know somebody, etc.
As a parent, your own thinking style is always on display and your children are listening intently!
The Importance of Optimism
Why should you want your child to be an optimist? Because, as Dr. Martin Seligman explains: “Pessimism (the opposite of optimism) is an entrenched habit of mind that has sweeping and disastrous consequences: depressed mood, resignation, underachievement and even unexpectedly poor physical health.”
Children with optimistic thinking skills are better able to interpret failure, have a stronger sense of personal mastery and are better able to bounce back when things go wrong in their lives.
Because parents are a major contributor to the thinking styles of their children’s developing minds, it is important to adhere to the following five steps to ensure healthy mental habits in your children.
How Parents Can Help
Step 1: Learn to think optimistically yourself. What children see and hear indirectly from you as you lead your life and interact with others influences them much more than what you try to ‘teach’ them.
You can model optimism for your child by incorporating optimistic mental skills into your own way of thinking. This is not easy and does not occur over night. But with practice, almost everyone can learn to think differently about life’s events – even parents!
Step 2: Teach your child that there is a connection between how they think and how they feel. You can do this most easily by saying aloud how your own thoughts about adversity create negative feelings in you.
For
example, if you are driving your child to school and a driver cuts you off, verbalize the link between your thoughts and feelings by saying something like “I wonder why I’m feeling so angry; I guess I was saying to myself: ‘Now I’m going to be late because the guy in front of me is going so darn slow. If he is going to drive like that he shouldn’t drive during rush hour. How rude.’”
Step 3: Create a game called ‘thought catching.’ This helps your child learn to identify the thoughts that flit across his or her mind at the times they feel worst. These thoughts, although barely noticeable, greatly affect mood and behavior.
For instance, if your child received a poor grade, ask: “When you got your grade, what did you say to yourself?”
Step 4: Teach your child how to evaluate automatic thoughts. This means acknowledging that they things you say to yourself are not necessarily accurate.
For instance, after receiving the poor grade your child may be telling himself he is a failure, he is not as smart as other kids; he will never be able to succeed in school, etc. Many of these self-statements may not be accurate, but they are ‘automatic’ in that situation.
Step 5: Instruct your child on how to generate more accurate explanations (to themselves) when bad things happen and use them to challenge your child’s automatic but inaccurate thoughts. Part of this process involves looking for evidence to the contrary (good grades in the past, success in other life areas, etc).
Another skill to teach your child to help him or her think optimistically is to ‘decatastrophize’ the situation – that is – help your child see that the bad event may not be as bad or will not have the adverse consequences imagined. Few things in life are as devastating as we fear, yet we blow them up in our minds.
Parents can influence the thinking styles of their children by modeling the principals of optimistic thinking.
2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.
Dr. Tony Fiore (www.angercoach.com) is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at www.angercoach.com
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Stress Management Tips and Techniques from Mind Tools |
More than 100 stress management tips and techniques, helping you manage the job-related stress in your life. |
www.mindtools.com |
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Stress Management Techniques, Stress Relief & Stress Reduction ... |
Mind Tools helps you manage the causes of stress and teaches useful stress management techniques. |
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Stress Management |
Stress Management. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has physical ... |
www.ivf.com |
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Stress Management: Information and Resources on Stress From About.com |
Find a wide variety of stress management strategies you can use in your daily life. Learn about the causes and effects of stress, healthy and effective ... |
stress.about.com |
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Stress Management |
Links to stress management information on the web. |
www.pp.okstate.edu |
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Links to Stress Related Resources |
Return to the Stress Management and Emotional Wellness Page ... Cognitive Restructuring Approaches to Stress Management ... |
www.imt.net |
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International Stress Management Association(UK) |
The leading professional body for stress management. The ISMA website has articles from their journal Stress News, links and general advice on lifestyle and ... |
www.isma.org.uk |
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Stress Management for Patient and Physician |
Stress management for patient and physician. Stress is the most common cause of ill health, probably underlying as many as 70% of all visits to family ... |
www.mentalhealth.com |
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Stress Management: Counseling Services, University at Buffalo |
The description on stress management. ... Stress Management. Introduction Stress is a part of day to day living. As college students you may experience ... |
ub-counseling.buffalo.edu |
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Stress Management and Anxiety Relief |
Welcome to stressmanagement.co.uk - We specialise in managing your stress. |
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Stress Management for effective ways to manage stress |
Our stress management services allows you to find the solutions to all types of stress. We also have professional stress management counsellors available 7 ... |
www.stressmanagement.com.au |
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Stress Management--UIUC Counseling Center |
Self-help Brochures. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; ... |
www.couns.uiuc.edu |
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The Stress Management Society |
Congratulations to taking the first step to freedom from the stress trap. This is the place to learn more about stress and its management. |
www.stress.org.uk |
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Stress management - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Stress management encompasses techniques intended to equip a person with effective ... Definition of stress: Stress management defines stress precisely as a ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
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Stress |
Stress Management. Everyone experiences stress from time to time, so it is perfectly normal ... Fortunately, stress management is largely a learnable skill. ... |
www.cyberpsych.com |
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SBC Academic Resource Center | Stress Management |
With stress management training, you can learn to avoid procrastination and other stress-producing situations. Stress Quiz: How Stressed Are You? ... |
www.arc.sbc.edu |
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Mind Tools - How to Master Stress |
3. Stress Management Techniques. Raising Stress Levels - Psyching Up · Stress Reduction Techniques · Reducing Short-Term Stress - Mental Techniques ... |
www.psywww.com |
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Stress, stress management, occupational stress, stress prevention ... |
A recent survey showed that 70-90% of us feel stressed at work and outside. Unless we learn to manage stress, we will get sick. |
www.holisticonline.com |
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HSE - Stress Management Standards Homepage |
The International Stress Management Association has produced a leaflet showing how employees can work with their employers to tackle work-related stress ... |
www.hse.gov.uk |
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Stress Management Tips for Stressed and Overworked People. |
Free weekly stress management tips and relaxation CD plus practical resources for stressed people. |
www.stresstips.com |
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