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Gift of the month clubs: The lazy man's guide to gift giving
If you are like me and are a very lousy shopper and always end up getting everyone the wrong gift at Christmas time, think about a Gift-of-the-Month Club. G.O.M Clubs have all the things the lazy gift giver requires: Ease of purchase, no shopping at...
Kitchen Pantry
A well stocked kitchen pantry is a cook's secret weapon. Prepare your next dinner with style and never run out of ingredients, herbs, spices, extracts, sauces, and all kinds of foodstuff. Doing any job is easier when you have the right tools on...
Sicily's Great Eggplant-Tomato Stew
I ran into a friend yesterday, who tells me that he should be harvesting eggplants from his garden any day now. Of course, this got me thinking about Caponata, the famous Sicilian eggplant and tomato stew. This is a terrific 'contorno',...
Tips to Buying Food Online
Did you know that you could buy food online? I was amazed when I discovered this fact. There are hundreds of different food websites on the internet, all of which offer great deals and promotions. So no matter what you are in the mood for, you can...
Wine E-Learning Campus In Malta
Following a successful trial run in London, the European Wine Academy (EWA) has expanded internationally and chosen Malta as the base for its Mediterranean Campus offering a range of high-standard short, long and professional wine courses to...
 
The Wine and Green Mushroom Caper

(a day in the life of a vintner)

We were really looking forward to our visit with Andy and Gwen. Old college buddies, while I chose the medical profession, Andy chose sales. After a few years, Andy joined a wine distributor and eventually evolved into a master vintner. He is semi retired now, but as we reached his villa on a high hill in Napa, California, all we could see were grape vines twisting gracefully along rows fading off into the horizon. He certainly still had his hand in it.

We visited all morning while downing several glasses of a variety of wines that Andy had produced and tinkered with.

Finally I excused myself to find the bathroom. Gwen directed me down the hall, to the right, third door on the right. Light switch on the left. Being a bit tipsy, I did manage to find the bathroom, but on the way out, turned the wrong way into another hall.

There before me was the master suite. As I peeked in, I noticed what appeared to be a giant green mushroom growing right in the middle of the bedroom. Backing away, I weighed whether should mention it, citing my error in directions; or not, for fear of being thought a snoop. But my find was just too strange and my semi inebriated brain had no control over my mouth. As I reached the doorway of the sitting room, I just spontaneously blurted it out “uh, why are you growing a giant green mushroom in your bedroom?”

Andy and Gwen exchanged puzzled glances, and then glanced back at me. Their faces both changed to horror at about the same time. They leapt from their chairs and dashed down the hall. We followed close behind wondering if I had just stumbled into an alien nation or something.

It was the waterbed. Andy had attached a garden hose to fill it sometime just before we arrived, and had completely forgotten about it.

By this time the bed had swollen to the size of a giant blimp. The wooden stays on the bed separated and pulled apart. The sheetrock was cracking under the sideways expansion into the wall. The nails in the bed must have been finally exposed, because the bed material suddenly gave way to a huge popping sound and water began to run everywhere. It quickly saturated the carpets and flowed down the hall. Water began to leak to the lower floors. There wasn’t much we could do but watch in dismay. Andy raced downstairs and we were quick to follow. Sure enough, the water continued its downward


path clear to the basement.

The basement turned out to be an extensive wine cellar, home to Andy’s most coveted wine collection. Row upon row of bottles lay carefully filed on their sides, separated by vintage and other important details known only to him.

Seeing water leaking from the heating duct over his head he quickly reached up and pushed the edges tighter together to see if he could seal off the leaky area. Instead, the duct opened with a long squealing sigh, separating like a rhino’s jaws sending gallons of water gushing over the wine bins and flowing down to the lowest section of the floor knocking over a row of shelves nested there. There, in the lowest, darkest, coolest cave-like opening was Andy’s most precious and newly-tasted collection of wine. Picking up the bottles one by one, the handwritten labels began to slide off.

More and more labels became dislodged and before long, there were labels floating everywhere.

After a few minutes Andy stood back and took stock of the situation, there was only one thing to do. And it was urgent.

We needed to taste and grade the wines as soon as possible, before he forgot the content of each of the bottle’s washed off labels. And, which bottle was which.

We set up our tasting table near the shelves of the now label-less wine bottles. Andy would choose the bottle, write down what he remembered about the label contents and we would all taste the wine, commenting on the flavors, acidity, etc., all the things a wine connoisseur might want to know. We pressed on through the afternoon into the late evening, until the last naked bottle had been tasted and Andy had completed his notes in his journal. All in all, we had tasted our way through about 27 bottles of wine.

We had no business driving back to our motel in the condition we were in, but we were wet, exhausted and probably getting on the nerves of our host by then.

After a few days we received a most gracious note from Andy, thanking us for our help and fortitude. The house was almost back to normal, and the waterbed had been replaced with an airbed.

We wondered, could he risk blowing himself up with one?


About the Author

Kathleen Jerauld-Brack is a Graphic Designer and web publisher. She has won many awards in art and literature, including poetry. Webmaster of: http://www.BestPlacetoEat.com and http://www.BestRestaurants.us

 

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Content Menu
  • 10 great wine tasting tips

  • 16 quick tips for eating at restaurants or work

  • 4000 year old secrets of green tea

  • aging gracefully

  • all about entertaining with food and wine

  • american fast food restaurants

  • and you thought coffee was bad for you

  • an idiots guide to wine tasting

  • an introduction to wine

  • australian bbq recipes

  • australian wines

  • australia is more than jacobs creek

  • autumn cooking great fall recipes and tips

  • a beginners guide to chinese cookery

  • a guide to gourmet coffee

  • a guide to wine racks

  • a perfect cup of coffee

  • bakers racks add flair and style to your kitchen

  • barbeque grilling has reached a whole new dimension

  • barbequing a fun and convenient way to make dinner

  • basque cuisine

  • beer and food pairings

  • blended and varietal wines

  • blue cheese omnivorous

  • braised fish in soy sauce hong shao yu

  • braised garlic short ribs with a red wine tomato sauce

  • build your own wine rack in an afternoon

  • buying wine how to read a wine label

  • buy fine wine at great prices a strategy

  • champagne wine

  • change your diet and eat the mediterranean way

  • cheese explore a new taste

  • chicken breasts with spicy rub

  • chicken with white wine pasta

  • chilean wine history and style

  • chinese dumplings on chinese new year

  • chocolate is good for you

  • choosing a wine gift basket

  • choosing wine on a first date

  • choosing wine to match food

  • christmas recipes main dishes no 9 of 12 duck with cardamom sauce

  • class on glass

  • coffee characteristics and how it helps you choose the perfect coffee for you

  • coffee everything you need to know from arabica to zanzibar

  • coffee is it getting too complicated

  • coffee with class

  • come home to comfort food

  • corks for wine

  • creating the perfect foam

  • cuban thanksgiving from our latin table

  • cucumber pork soup

  • delicoious swordfish

  • determining if a wine is spoiled

  • do you know these little known facts about tuscany wines

  • easy summer salads lighter foods for a brighter summer

  • ediths cake that thrilled the french

  • emu the natural alternativee for the backyard grill

  • enjoy colorado wines

  • enjoy your favorite winebut with some rules

  • experience the joy of eating at a restaurant

  • fall for outdoor entertaining this autumn

  • family life or wine for christmas dy

  • fantastic fruit

  • fine dining at the ark of las vegas lutece and tsunami asian grill

  • fondue 101 how to make cheese fondue

  • foods to avoid that cause bad breath

  • food and drink what to expect in costa rica

  • food and wine choice advice from an expert wine taster

  • formula for successful wedding party

  • french wine

  • french wine laws

  • fresh fare from the food isle ireland

  • from prix fixe to cold tea a glossary of popular and obscure restaurant terms

  • german wine the new commodity on the american market

  • get to grips with your wines

  • gift of the month clubs the lazy mans guide to gift giving

  • give a fondue party

  • gourmet a defining moment

  • gourmet centerpieces

  • gourmet coffee beans a brief overview

  • gourmet goodies

  • gourmet sauces rubs and marinades give your bbq a gourmet kick

  • grigio or gris this is a great white wine

  • grilled scallops with ginger lime sauce

  • guide to buying wine glasses

  • guide to tasting wine

  • hans is author of steaks seafood and

  • have a wine and cheese shower or party

  • have you bought your first case of wine yet

  • healthy fondue a guide to making broth and hot oil fondues

  • healthy seafood recipe

  • health benefits of tea

  • helens homemade fishcakes recipe

  • helens pan fried seabass

  • history of hawaiian coffee

  • history of the mendocino county wine industry

  • holiday cookie exchange

  • homemade christmas gifts from the kitchen make your own holiday gift baskets

  • honey dijon glazed ribs

  • hosting a wine party

  • hosting a wine tasting party

  • hot fun in the summertime

  • how sparkling wine is made

  • how to begin wine collecting

  • how to be creative when you are cooking

  • how to brew your own beer

  • how to grow grapes for excellent wine

  • how to host a memorable july 4th barbecue and have fun too

  • how to host a wine party

  • how to make beer

  • how to order wine in a restaurant

  • how to store wine

  • how wine is made

  • index

  • introduction to italian wine

  • in grandmas kitchen part i

  • in praise of the humble salad

  • in time for summer blue danube wine company introduces refreshing new varietals from hungary the craftsmane series from hilltop neszmely winery

  • is your italian olive oil really italian

  • italian cuisine in the heart of tuscany

  • italian cuisine more than pasta

  • kitchen pantry

  • knowledge and creativity

  • la minita coffee its in the green beans

  • learn about chardonnay wine

  • learn about the benefits of green tea

  • learn to deal with the wine steward in restaurants

  • left over wine

  • love wine join a wine club

  • low fat salmon recipes

  • make your own gourmet gift baskets

  • making red wine

  • making wine like a pro

  • maple flavored smoked turkey

  • marketing wine on the internet

  • more mead mlord irelands medieval banquets

  • murder by heat

  • not your orthodox way of learning about wine

  • oakville wine country

  • olive varieties

  • paella recipe secret

  • paella the most famous spanish dish

  • parmesan crusted sole with lemon beurre blanc

  • pinot gris or grigio this grape makes great wine

  • planning a fondue party

  • planning wine for your party

  • provence a wine lovers dream come true

  • quick reference buying and storage guide for cheese

  • raise a glass to the best wine of the month gifts

  • rare varietals cure wine boredom

  • reading an italian wine label

  • recipes from around the world right in your kitchen

  • reductions proving less is more

  • regional cuisine new england clam chowder

  • roasted vegetable and goat cheese salad

  • roast rack of pork with grain mustard sauce

  • rotator

  • rowan jelly mountain ash pyrus aucuparia

  • rubs to cook with

  • rutherford wine country

  • sangria blanca

  • sangria recipe

  • satisfy your wine desires join a wine club

  • sauces for quick gourmet cooking

  • sauces used in asian cooking

  • sauted family bean curd

  • seafood and corn beach barbecue

  • seafood fettuccine alfredo

  • selection of seafood recipes compliments of cafe hobson

  • serving wine

  • share a gourmet food basket with your lover

  • sherry a wine of tradition

  • sicilys great eggplant tomato stew

  • smell nothing taste nothing

  • southern mama

  • spanish food how to prepare boquerones

  • spanish food the tasty tortilla

  • specialty gourmet coffee

  • special ingredients shark fins birds nest

  • start your wine cellar the right way

  • storing your fine wine

  • substitutions for commonly used ingredients

  • sweet sour fish

  • sweet sour pork gu lao rou

  • sweet surprises

  • take a california wine country tour

  • tasteful gift giving

  • tasting wine

  • tasting wine the basics for beginners

  • tayberry jam

  • tayberry raspberry and strawberry jam

  • tea at sea

  • tempranillos role as a new varietal wine in australia

  • tempranillo a new red wine star in australia

  • ten foods with special powers

  • the 1976 paris wine tasting

  • the best of the boutiques

  • the curious history of wine consumption in america

  • the excellent french wine

  • the first rule of wine drinking

  • the french paradox

  • the fundamentals

  • the gentle art of poaching

  • the habanero chile

  • the harmony between food and wine

  • the harmony between wine and food

  • the history of italian coffee

  • the history of the acai berry

  • the history of wine country in the sierra foothills and the delta

  • the ideal temperature to store your wine

  • the latest craze on gourmet coffee

  • the major flavor components in wine

  • the mystery of decanting

  • the mystery of sparkling wine

  • the next shiraz varietal wines for australia

  • the perfect complement

  • the rise of rioja wines

  • the stuff of poetry mead

  • the sucessful dinner party

  • the true hystory of tiramisu

  • the wine and green mushroom caper

  • three rules for choosing the right dinner wine

  • tips to buying food online

  • to air is divine

  • twelve wines of christmas

  • understanding the basics of wine tasting

  • understanding wine grapes

  • understand wine and your health

  • unique gifts send food gifts for something delicious and different

  • using bargain wines to your advantage

  • vegan chocolate feeds the sweet tooth

  • water into wine

  • weight loss recipe veal mango

  • what is corked wine

  • what puts the sparkle in sparkling wine

  • what wine really is just in case you thought you knew

  • what wise guys eat

  • what you need in a gourmet kitchen

  • when punt is about packaging not football

  • which is for you blended or varietal wines

  • who made the first wine anyway

  • who needs a cookie jar

  • why red wine is red and other isnt

  • winezap launches new website to help wine consumers find price and compare wines subscribers to winezaps free newsletter offered 10 off any wine regardless of quantity purchased

  • wine accessories the things you need

  • wine and beer are good for us yes second in a series

  • wine and dine them

  • wine and onion bisque spring mix salad with worcestershire parsley dressing

  • wine a worthy teammate for football

  • wine etiquette with ease

  • wine e learning campus in malta

  • wine grapes white varieties

  • wine is in the moment

  • wine making and home brewing whats the deal

  • wine making for beginners

  • wine openers 6 styles reviewed

  • wine racks are great for all your bottle storage needs

  • wine rack storage simple guides on choosing

  • wine rack storage simple guides on choosing the right rack for your wines

  • wine storage hints and tips

  • wine storage is the key to preserving and aging your wine

  • wine tasting

  • wine tasting four easy steps to hosting a great wine tasting party

  • wine tasting in carneros

  • wine tasting in yountville

  • wine tasting the taditional way

  • wine tasting the traditional way

  • wooden wine rack vs metal wine rack