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Gold Jewelry: the ultimate adornment for style, beauty and class
Gold jewelry can never go out of style. It can look good on almost everyone. It is the ultimate amalgamation of classic beauty, wealth and style. The value of gold jewelry depends not only upon the style or the designer who has designed it, but...
Nutrition And Beauty: Fats Create Skin Radiance
Fat free has almost become a cornerstone in many households. It
is certainly something of a fixture on modern restaurant menus.
And industries have catered to the fat free preoccupation by
supplying foods labeled fat free and low fat, as well as...
The Joys and Magic of Music
What is the one single existing thing today that can bring people,
regardless of race, creed, gender or religion together as one?
Just recently, for the first time in history, a Zulu Rock concert
was performed before a mixed, sell out crowd in...
What Dreams May Come
What Dreams May Come Some years ago I read a brilliant book, What Dreams May Come, whose storyline was that in the plasmic substance of the afterworld, people perceive only the reality created by their thoughts, beliefs and expectations. They live...
Who Needs Heroes?
When we were talking the other day we started to think about our heroes when we were young. After we had discussed the usual film star and sports stars that we idolised I remembered Derek. Derek was a couple of years ahead of me in school and...
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Ten Tips for a "Real" New Year
Holidays and the start of a new year inevitably make us think
about how we can improve ourselves, and have the life we want in
the future. We make resolutions - I must lose weight, I will
save more money - and then lose our way. That's because we
aren't matching our resolutions with who we are inside. We're
more likely to succeed if we work on discovering our inner, Real
selves, appreciate who we already are, and then take a chance on
custom-made changes, not one-size-fit all resolutions. Here are
ten tips for making the new year better in a Real way.
1. Let your values be your guide -- There are plenty of people
who will tell you what should be important to you, if you let
them. Friends, co-workers, family, even the mass media, bombard
us with opinions and ideas. Don't just accept what others say.
Decide for yourself what matters most and let those values set
your course.
2. Take a long-term view -- Bad habits, difficult
relationships, and other disappointments don't develop
overnight. Similarly, life doesn't get better in a moment.
Change happens slowly, step-by-step. Have the patience to see it
through.
3. Let Go of the "Shoulds" -- When you were a kid, you needed
grown-ups to tell you what was right and wrong and what you
should do in a given situation. As an adult you can make these
choices for yourself. "Shoulds" produce resentment and anger.
Instead, do what you know in your heart is right, and set your
own standards.
4. Define Yourself as Beautiful -- Fewer than five percent of
us believe we are beautiful, but whenever I meet someone, I can
see something beautiful in her right away. You may not fit the
mass media image of conventional, external beauty, but there are
things that make you attractive. Remember, beauty is an inside
job.
5. Let Go of Being Perfect -- As much as we hear that "nobody's
perfect" it's awfully hard to believe. This is because what we
constantly see in the media are air-brushed images of people who
appear perfect and we come to believe it is a reasonable goal.
When we fall short of perfect, then we feel like failures, just
for being ourselves. This year, why not just forget that whole
concept and replace it with "I don't have to be perfect." The
truth is, the people who love you know that you have flaws and
just don't care. You don't have to
either...
6. Stop Competing -- Life is not a game to be won or lost. It
is more like a dance that never ends. People who make life a
competition live in fear of losing. But if you understand that
there's no first prize and no finish line, only opportunities to
grow and experience things, then that fear is replaced by
appreciation and wonder. Try to think about growing rather than
winning.
7. Try a Little Self-Empathy -- We all hope to be kind and
considerate when it comes to others. But have you ever made an
effort to think about yourself in the same way? Most of us spend
too much time judging ourselves harshly. It's hard to be happy
when you let that little voice inside you endlessly say mean and
critical things.
8. Make Friends with Your Flaws -- When you stop believing in
perfection, it's a lot easier to adopt a new view of those
things people call flaws. In many cases, we can redefine these
differences and understand them as gifts. What makes a mole a
beauty mark? The answer is in your perspective. Why not adopt a
perspective that honors all those things that make you different?
9. Listen to Your Body -- Many of us lead lives that are so
fast-paced and stressful that we push ourselves to the point of
getting sick. In most cases, our bodies send us signals -
fatigue, aches, hungers - when it's time to slow down, rest and
examine our emotions. We can avoid a lot of sick days if we
pause to listen to our bodies and respond with gentle self-care.
10. Try New Things -- In the end, the important things in life
are found in relationships and experiences. We feel good when we
connect with others and take on challenges that allow us to
grow. If you have always wanted to feel closer to someone you
know, take the risk. And if you have longed to try something new
- in the arts, your work, sports, or anything else -- give
yourself permission to try. A little courage will bring you
great rewards in the coming year.
About the Author
Toni Raiten-D'Antonio is a psychotherapist and author of The Velveteen Principles (Oct 2004), a Guide to Becoming Real. The Velveteen Principles offers advice on reclaiming joy, fulfillment and individuality drawing from the simple wisdom of the children's classic The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. To Learn more, please visit www.velveteenprinciples.com.
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