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Never to old to learn
I was four, soon to be five in October. School would be starting
up the day after Labor Day and I was eager to start school but
scared to have my vaccination. I wanted to have the circle on my
arm that the vaccination left from the scaring. All the kids
that were in school had them. Other kids told me that the shot
hurt but I wanted it anyway and wanted to go to school.
I was a tiny child. Most all the students and the teachers
seemed to like me. How could anyone not like a little girl? I
was cute but very shy. From kinder garden to the fifth grade
went quite well, although; my grades were not that good. In the
fifth grade, school became harder for me. I could not
concentrate in the class and if I did know the answer to a
question, I was to shy to raise my hand. I was very sick that
year with childhood diseases. Mumps, measles, chicken pox, you
name it, I had it. I missed a lot of school. At the end of the
school year, all the classes in the school would go on a picnic.
That would also be the last day of school. While playing with
some of the other kids at the picnic, my teacher called me over
to her. She told me that because I had missed so much school
that year, I would have to stay back. She said my grades were
just to low. I was crushed and embarrassed. I didn't want any of
the other kids to know that I would not be in the same class as
they were the following year.
I hated to return to school the following fall. I felt that all
the kids would laugh and make fun of me. I felt cheated. I
wasn't fair. I couldn't help it if I was sick and couldn't go to
school. I made it through the fifth grade this time and now I
would finally go on to the sixth. In the sixth grade, some of
the older kids would make fun of me for the way that I dressed
and the shoes that I wore. Our family was very poor and my dad
had eight mouths to feed. We were lucky to have hand me downs to
wear. Most of my clothes didn't fit and were outdated. My shoes
were too big or too small. At the beginning of the year, I would
get a new outfit and a new pair of tennis shoes. When those were
worn out, I would have to wear what ever people would give me.
There were days that I would not want to ride the bus home after
school. The other kids would pick on me and I would walk home
crying by myself.
In the seventh grade, I struggled to learn. I really didn't like
school much then. I wished that I could have quit. Two of my
teachers helped me in two different subjects. My math teacher
would spend more time with me and I liked him. My grades really
improved and I felt better about school. I baby sat all I could
on week-ends to make money to buy some nicer clothes. I wanted
to fit in with the other students. I wanted friends and didn't
want to be made fun of anymore.
My mother had to go to the hospital to have surgery. My two
younger sisters were not yet in school. Dad had no one to care
for them while my mother was gone. I stayed home from school to
care for them so my dad could work. After Mom returned back home
and was able to care for my sisters, I returned back to school.
I had missed more days than I should have but had my cousin to
get me my homework so I could study at home. I tried not getting
too far behind; I did not want to stay back another year. Mom
got better but then she left us. Dad, again, could not care for
the youngest sisters. I stayed home from school once again to
care for them. I missed so much school that even with doing
homework at home, my grades suffered. I was told that I would
not pass the seventh grade and would have to stay back another
year.
My family and
I would now be separated. I was to go to a foster
home in a new town. I would have to start seventh grade again in
a new school. School was better there. No one knew me so no one
would make fun of me for having to stay back. I now had some new
clothes that were up to date. No more shoes that didn't fit. I
became more interesting in learning and liked to write stories.
I would make them up but had trouble with the spelling. When I
didn't know a word, I would get out the dictionary and find the
word. My spelling improved greatly.
Eighth grade. One more year before high school. I had planned to
really study hard so I could go to high school. My grades were
good in the eight and I now was going on to high school. First
year in high school I studies hard. It wasn't as easy for me
like it was for some of the other students. I had to study all
the time. I felt that I must be dumb. I couldn't quite grasp
things like the other students could. In my foster home, I had
to do choirs each day, before school and after. After supper I
would have to help clean up supper and then study. There was
never any time to watch TV or do fun things. One day I was
beaten by a young man that was then living in the home. I was
being moved to another home in another town. It was in the
middle of the school year. I felt that I couldn't go to school
anymore. I was 17 and I was old enough to quit. I never went
back.
Many, many, years later. I was now 49 years old. My place of
employment for years was now closing the doors. I was out of a
job. I needed a high school diploma to get any decent job with
decent pay. There were not many jobs available at that time. I
was given the option to go back to school and get my GED so I
could find a better job. I thought this was crazy at my age to
have to go to school. It was hard enough for me in school
growing up; this would be twice as hard now that I was older. I
decided to try. I studies all the time and as soon as I could, I
took the test. I passed the test and got my GED. I was so proud.
I was told then that I should consider going on to college. I
just couldn't see myself going to college, a dream that I had
growing up but not now at my age. My husband encouraged me to
go. I decided to try it for one semester to see how it went. It
was difficult at first. I felt strange with all the younger
people, I felt like I did not belong there. Some of the younger
students would ask me about things that I had seen and places
that I had been. I felt that I had something to offer them with
my age and my years of experience. While I was in college, I
started writing a book. I graduated and got my book published in
2005.
Do you think you are too old to learn? I did at first but then
realized that I was hungry for knowledge. I wanted to learn more
than it seemed my brain would let me take in. I feel that I have
accomplished a great deal in the past five years of my life. I
want to continue to learn all I can. You are never too old to
learn so jump in there and go for it. You will be amazed at what
you can accomplish if you want to badly enough.
learning, age disabilities, accomplishments, abuse, education,
experiences, knowledge, books
About the author:
My book, Living Nightmares of Abuse will soon be available at
http://www.publishamerica.com/books/ at a special pre-release
discount price. Also will be available at any on line books,
such as Amazon.com, B&N.com. ISBN number 1-4137-9156-5. For more
information about my book or about the author, please visit my
websites at http://www.pdbenton.org/ or
http://www.freewebs.com/dianesfantasy/
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