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A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 5 steps to improvement
“It’s all about relationships!” proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. “When you retire, that’s what you realize is...

Chasing After Child Support
Child support is often a source of contention between divorced parents of minor children. I understand this. I have been there. In an ideal situation, the parent who is responsible for paying child support does so out of love for his or her...

Deciding on Divorce: How to know you are making the right choice
It's a well known fact that in this day and age most marriages end up in divorce. When confronted with the possibility of "throwing a relationship away", you'll probably experience a lot of stress. There are some things you can do to decide if...

Essence of Infidelity
Infidelity affects 8 out of 10 marriages in this country. This is a shocking statistic! What happens between the time the marriage vows are spoken and that first episode of cheating? It’s an assumption, of course, but I don’t think that 80% of the...

What Is Reflexology?
For the Reflexologist, the feet are a microcosm of the human body and every organ and body part is represented in the feet. Where there are two organs in the body they will be represented on both feet, e.g. lungs and kidney and where there is only...

 
A Bird's Eye View of THE ENCHANTED SELF and what it means to YOU! - Part 2

I have found the most effective way to teach people how to access their Enchanted Self, i.e. to find and hold onto feelings of joy, and a sense of well-being is to share the Seven Gateways To Enchantment. It is a quick way to catch your Enchanted Self.

So let’s explore the Gateways and then try an enchanted assignment!

The first Gateway is The Gateway of Knowing Yourself In Positive Ways. That means getting to know your own talents and rediscovering your lost potential. This is a fun gateway and it really builds your self-esteem. You can pursue this Gateway, even while driving you car! For example, you can go over your life history, reviewing your strengths and talents. Start back in childhood-look for your strengths and talents, even if they were disregarded by your family, and maybe even yourself. Now, you have the maturity and wisdom to recognize these positive parts of yourself. Even play with looking for your lost dreams-what you thought you could do before someone or circumstances may have dashed those dreams!

After you take some time with the First Gateway, you are ready for the Second Gateway. This is the one where you begin to fall in love with yourself! At the heart level you begin to feel your specialness. This may take time, not to worry. After all our society does not bring us up to recognize what is special and wonderful about ourselves! Some of us get closer to this sense of positive self-love by mentally hugging ourselves as the child that we once were. Others practice by intentionally giving oneself a for real quick hug, even if no one else does, or looking in the mirror and saying to oneself, "I am special and my strengths are unique and perfectly suited for what I want and need to do in life!

Another step in successfully passing through the Second Gateway is acknowledging that the story of your life is a fascinating fabric of adventures, episodes, happenings, and even mis-haps that have come together to make a most unique person and that is YOU! Once you can begin to see that your triumphs are to be honored and celebrated and that your defeats have within them the wisdom and the learning that takes you later in life to new heights you are well along on the road to Enchantment.

The Third Gateway to Enchantment is Learning To Meet Your Needs and Negotiate for Yourself. The worst thing is to be so dependent on others and the whims of others that we are not able to live out our dreams. We need the education, the skills, the tools, and the negotiating powers that will take us to fulfill our missions in life. So, don’t be afraid of education, don’t be afraid to go back for a degree at sixty, don’t be afraid to have a mentor, to look for advice, to find out how other people have succeeded in a particular field.

For instance, I remember treating a young woman who had so much to offer but no path! Divorced and with two young sons she was forced back into the parent's home and not happy about it. But once she started back to school and became a nurse all her doors opened for her. She had financial security, a home again for her boys and a future! It was tough but forth the struggle.

The fourth Gateway is the experience of joy. This Gateway is so incredibly essential. It means replenishing yourself so that you are not running on empty. It also means not straining yourself, not accepting more assignments than you can really handle. When I have opened this Gateway I am able to bow out when I need to. Maybe I take that vacation I need or want or maybe I am just strong enough to say I will do this task later or you better find someone else to handle it and then I get a good night's sleep. By protecting my mind, body and spirit I not only set hontest guidelines with others, so I don't disappoint them, but I make room for joy. Replenishment leads to feeling good and joy fills us when we are full of life and vitality. Of course it is necessary to find the ways to replenish ourselves that work.

If you love to travel, look for ways to travel. If you love to be with your friends, get together, if you love to be with your grandchildren, then sit on the floor and play games or plant a garden…whatever works for you.

The Fifth Gateway is the Gateway of Community. We all know how important it is to


feel we belong, that others care about us and we care about others. But, what you may not realize is that belonging is a major way to offset depression. You see, the more we are truly connected to others and feel a responsibility within a world beyond ourselves, the less the tendency is for us to get blue and withdrawn. Obviously, this is a very important Gateway. Finding the right communities to connect are ongoing assignments for all of us-where we live, who are friends are, what church or synagogue we attend, what interest groups we identify with, etc.

The Sixth Gateway is the gateway of mentoring and being a mentor. Very often, we dismiss and minimize our own wisdom. We are wise, we have a tremendous amount we can offer others and there is always others to offer wisdom to ourselves. I love this little story that a friend told me. She said I am learning so much from my neighbor. I said, "Who is that?" She mentioned the persons name. I had never heard her mention her name before even though we often chatted. My friend said, “Well, I don’t really know her, I just watch her.” I asked what do she meant.

She explained, "She lives a few houses away and I watch her. I see how she greets her guests, how welcoming she is, how she always walks a guest out and says good-bye. I see her stand there until the guest leaves. I see how radiant her smile is. Although she is twenty years younger than myself, she is a real mentor for me, I am learning from her all the time." That is an example of how easy it is to be mentored. Even the birds mentor us with their wonderful song. Start to look for mentors-you will find them all over. And don't forget that you are a mentor-perhaps even when you don't know it.

Last but not least is the Gateway of Positive Action or Good Deeds. So essential in all the world and so essential for good.mental health. Research shows that the more we help others, the more generous in spirit we are, whether we give time, money, a smile, or a helping hand, our moods lift. Of course, if we offer to the point of exhaustion then we defeat the purpose and we will be on empty! The idea is to balance good mental health by using wise judgement calls of moderation and balance.

These are the Seven Gates; we go through them again and again in life. We never close a door on any of them, we are always back, we are always learning more, we are always having to reflect on our lives one more time or learn some new behaviors, make a new decision, recognize and acknowledge who we are and what we need and, of course, find new ways to bring pleasure and meaning into our lives.

A PLAYDATE WITH ENCHANTMENT

What I would like you to do now is to play with the Seventh Gateway-that of Positive Action. Take a peice of paper write down 2 positive actions that you can do over the next year. The first one is a positive action you can do for yourself. Make it something that will be good for yourself, such as to restore yourself or broaden your life. The second action is something that is good for the world and of course will not harm yourself. You have a year to do these. Put them in your pocketbook, look at them once in awhile. Do you realize that just by actually doing these two actions you will: 1) bring more pleasure and joy to yourself and 2) improve the world in some small way. Wow- two wonderful steps toward coming home to your ENCHANTED SELF!


About the author:
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.comGet a copy of a bi-weekly The enchanted Self newsletter at http://www.enchantedself.com/elettersignup.htm.Order her books, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, and now her new book, There Comes a Time in Every Women's Life for DELIGHT! at http://www.enchantedself.com/catalog




 

divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ...
An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve.
www.divorce.co.uk
 
Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce
Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce.
www.divorcemag.com
 
Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ...
DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ...
www.divorcenet.com
 
The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ...
a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area.
www.divorcesupport.com
 
Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ...
A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ...
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DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support
Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact.
www.divorceinfo.com
 
Divorce - Wex
An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute.
www.law.cornell.edu
 
MedlinePlus: Divorce
Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ...
www.nlm.nih.gov
 
Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice
The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ...
www.divorceaid.co.uk
 
Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service
The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles.
www.divorce-online.co.uk
 
How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson
Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage.
www.divorceasfriends.com
 
Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com
An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce.
www.divorceonline.com
 
Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce
In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ...
www.divorce.gov.au
 
DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups
DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce.
www.divorcecare.com
 
Divorce Central Home Page
Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews.
www.divorcecentral.com
 
Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court
Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys.
www.divorcehelp.com
 
Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents
Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor.
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Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc.
John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ...
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  • the secret to success in courtship and marriage sex and happiness part 1

  • the secret to success in courtship and marriage sex and happiness part 2

  • the secret to success in courtship and marriage sex and happiness part 5

  • the talking stick

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  • the thrill ride called life facing fear with strength and courage

  • the venus flower basket symbol of love

  • the wedding aisle who is walking you down it

  • the womans guide to younger men

  • things i learned from mister rogers

  • think you cant afford your own home think again

  • three amigos

  • tips to help find missing persons

  • tired of online dating

  • tis the season

  • todays woman

  • too late

  • too many divorces

  • top 10 secrets to avoiding marital money chaos

  • top 4 reasons women ride the emotional roller coaster

  • top ten list of what to do and what not to do in relationships

  • to all the men ill never love again

  • to all the men i ll never love again

  • to love forever

  • trekshare com crashing a wedding in laos part 1

  • trust in marriage

  • trust starts with you

  • two hearts are now one

  • uncontested divorce how thinking about an uncontested divorce figures into your decision about divorce

  • uniforms

  • unintended consequences

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  • vasectomy reversal a personal story

  • warning signs your guy may be a mr wrong instead of mr right

  • weddings for the guests of honor the bride and groom

  • weddings you are not who i married yesterday

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  • wedding reception seating tips

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  • what divorce parenting practices is best appropriate for preschoolers

  • what divorce parenting practices is best appropriate for school age children

  • what divorce parenting practices is best appropriate for toddlers

  • what is it all about

  • what is reflexology

  • what is the first thing to say when you want a divorce

  • what its all about

  • what makes cheating spouses cheat

  • what parents should do for children to do their best after divorce

  • what women want

  • what you can do as a non raging mate to either fix the relationship or forget it

  • when not to begin potty training

  • when renting is better than buying

  • when somethings not right about your career part vi vi second chance

  • when the kids wont listen

  • where does one start to succeed when nothing is working

  • whose decision

  • whos helping our grieving children cope with katrina

  • who says life doesnt repeat itself

  • who says online datings only for losers

  • who should relocate in a long distance relationship

  • who wants to be rich

  • why arent you using this marriage saving tip

  • why are russian women so popular learn the secrets

  • why are there so many fat kids

  • why does god permit wickedness and suffering part 2

  • why do cheating spouses cheat

  • why do men cheat

  • why is desperate housewives so popular

  • why men cheat

  • why men wont commit to marriage

  • why receive christian pre marital counseling

  • why women should worry about retirement more than men

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  • winning my battle with anxiety

  • wise women money quiz how money wise are you

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  • women and divorce how women should protect themselves financially regarding divorce

  • women and pensions what women need to know and do

  • women and workplace stress its more than the job

  • women and workplace stress it s more than the job

  • women in sindh

  • women in transition

  • women in transition from post feminism to past femininity

  • women in transition from post feminism to past femininity part ii

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  • writing the chapters of your life surprising insights using this special journaling technique

  • yesterday today and tomorrow

  • your beloved soldier is coming home now what

  • your children should not suffer because of divorce

  • you can either have fun or make money not when you use emotional intelligence

  • you can either have fun or you can make money not when you use your emotional intelligence

  • you can improve your relationship