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All I Want for Christmas is My Son Back
The holidays are upon us … and how they churn up our emotions. The expectations … the memories … the empty chairs … Somewhere there’s the Norman Rockwell family celebrating , but it was never at my house. Was it at yours? A client and I have in...
"Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce"
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and...
Helping Children to Cope with Divorce
If you are a responsible parent facing the minefield of divorce, a prime concern will be helping your child cope with the process. If, on the other hand you are a parent who believes that old chestnut, "My child isn't bothered” or "kids take things...
The Informal Normal In A Black-Tie-Affair World
Have you noticed the trend?
You ever notice how on programs like "The Bachelor" most of their dating episodes are via limousine escort?
They travel to lavish destinations amid scenic splendor. The sunsets are so beautiful you can almost...
What Women Want
Women in business and the professions continue to change the face of the North American economy. Women are starting more businesses than men and are twice as likely to remain in business than their male counterparts. Career women are thriving...
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Dads Are Heroes
Dads Are Heroes
By Alvah Parker
My friend, Dovid Grossman, who is the father of nine children, told me he intended to have a website and teleclass series dedicated to the Hero’s Journey for Dads. He wanted to use the framework of a Hero’s Journey to engage in a discussion with fathers on parenting.
I was somewhat aware of the idea of the Hero’s Journey from the PBS series The Power of Myth with Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers. Still I couldn’t see how he would use the model with Fathers. “What is it about the Hero’s Journey that interests and excites you?” I asked him.
He told me he had just read Christopher Vogler’s The Writer’s Journey, in which Vogler says, “I came to believe that the Hero’s Journey is nothing less than a handbook for life, a complete instruction manual in the art of being human.”
Wow! No wonder he was excited. He wanted to use what happens in a father’s life – the ordinary trials and tribulations father’s face as “a handbook for life”.
Grossman believes the hero’s journey can provide a solid framework to help fathers to better understand their role. “There are many truth’s in the world” he says, “like we know gravity always works. It is the common experience of it that resonates with us.” So it is with the Hero’s Journey.
As fathers discover the aspects of their own journeys they will also see that they are involved in the multiple journeys with their children. Using what they learn from each journey helps both father and son or daughter to confront and expedite future journeys.
Dovid’s explanation gave me the idea to see if I could use something that happened in my own life as a Mom that might help me understand the concept as it relates to Dads. Since I had learned to ski
late in my life (I was almost 40!) I plotted my experience into the 12 stages of the Hero’s Journey. (Go to www.AwesomeDads.com for the stages) I could see it clearly now. But so what?
When Dovid asked me what truth I had discovered from my skiing journey that helped me in the future, the first thing that came to my mind was that it prepared me for my divorce. Four years after I learned to ski I faced a huge upheaval in my life. It was not something I was expecting.
I had been a stay-at-home mom for thirteen years and now I would have to be on my own as a single mom caring for two young children. This felt overwhelming to me. I felt the same sheer terror as I did on the top of that mountain only more so. Having faced that kind of terror before and survived, made me confident that I could face this even greater challenge of divorce.
We all face challenges in our lives. A father’s role is to deal with his own challenges and to help his children to overcome and learn from their challenges. Understanding the Hero’s Journey makes it clear how to leverage past experiences in facing the present. If you are a Dad you’ll want to check out the Hero’s Journey for Dads at http://www.AwesomeDads.com/ to read the blog and join the teleclasses.
Copyright © 2005 Permission is granted to reproduce in its entirety including copyright and contact information.
About the Author
Alvah Parker is a Business and Career Coach as well as publisher of Parker’s Points, an email tip list and Road to Success, an ezine. Parker specializes in working with professionals who want to have a career that is fun, fulfilling and profitable. Alvah is found on the web at www.asparker.com. She may also be reached at 781-598-0388. all rights reserved.
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