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A New Strategy
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 3, 2003
My mother-in-law drives me crazy! She is an antisocial, critical, know-it-all who can't find anything decent to say about anyone but herself. Every time she comes to visit it puts such a...
Royal Family Trees
If you are interested in genealogy or history, royal family trees are excellent illustrations of the strange, convoluted, and always interesting tales of kings, queens and nobility. Take a look at a few them and you will be able to find the most...
Texas Family Law – Child Support
Texas Family Law – Child Support Texas is very precise on the guidelines of family law when it comes to child support. Most statues for child support place consideration on the income of the obligated parents capping it at $6,000 a month. Based...
The Woman's Guide to Younger Men
I often awake to find Beverly, my older wife, wrapped around me like a Virginia creeper. In the nineteen years since we met, she has shown me what true love is, and I couldn't live without it. For the first time, I have someone who wants me as...
When Not To Begin Potty Training
Potty training can be a stressful experience for you and your child. It's best to start potty training when your child has an established daily routine and is not dealing with any additional stress. Potty training should be the only major change...
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"Is Your Marriage Problem Severe Enough To Warrant Getting A Divorce?"
Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're trying to do all you can to make your marriage work. Depending on how your marriage was prior to thinking that you had a marriage problem, you could be in for a hurtful time if you don't take a step back and look at your marriage problem from a "helicopter" viewpoint. To do that, you're going to need to try to limit your emotional stake in the situation which admittedly is a difficult thing to do.
The first step in getting over a marriage problem is to remember that you aren't alone, lots of couples have marriage problems that stem from all kinds of different types of behavior.
Here's a partial list of marriage problems that you may or may not be experiencing:
Marriage problem 1: Lack of sexual intimacy - a serious issue that you must work through in my opinion if your going to work it out.
Marriage problem 2: Exploding during an argument, getting too emotional and letting your temper get the best of you - you need to learn to work together and you can't do that if one of you is getting too heated.
Marriage problem 3: Being selfish - eventually this will catch up to you. You should always think of your partner when you think of yourself.
Marriage problem 4: Being dishonest - another serious issue. If you cannot be 100% honest and open with your mate, you're marriage is most likely doomed or at the very least unhappy.
Marriage problem 5: Teasing too much - generally the husband does this but it could go either way. If there's a little bit of truth to the teasing or there's a greater marriage problem that incites the teasing, you could be in for a long road to recovery together. Chances are that you'll have a lot more work to do to correct this marriage problem.
Marriage problem 6: Not respecting your spouse - this marriage problem can result in all types of other problems. If you are experiencing this you must get to the root of this and figure out why the disrespect is present. If you aren't getting the every day respect that you deserve, make it a priority to not let this go on another day.
Marriage problem 7: Not being attentive to your spouse or not listening to your spouse - men are usually guilty of this marriage problem but is isn't exclusive to the weaker gender by any means. Really listening doesn't mean obeying, it means understanding what's important to your spouse and acting accordingly.
Obviously there are many other things that could be labeled a "marriage problem", you have to decide what
those are as they pertain to your situation.
So, how do you figure out if a marriage problem or problems are severe enough to warrant a divorce?
You should first examine what your marriage problem actually is and decide if it is exclusively a problem for you or if it is something that you both consider to be a marriage problem. If you are the only one who sees the said action as a marriage problem, you have to decide whether or not that specific marriage problem is being caused by you or whether it is truly a problem brought on by your spouse. If the marriage problem is unique to you, seek some help from a counselor and do yourself the courtesy of trying to correct the problem before you believe that you need to run right out and get a divorce. You'll be a better person for it because you will have fixed something within yourself.
However, if you truly believe that the marriage problem is caused and prolonged by your spouse, sit down with yourself first and examine what you believe to be the root cause of the behavior that creates the marriage problem. Make sure that you are being logical when you identify the behavior that you feel is causing the marriage problem and try to recall if the traits or behavior that you've identified in your spouse are 'fixable' in your mind...assuming of course, that your spouse will agree that you are right.
Next, approach your spouse with the information that you've reflected on and try to talk through the cause of the marriage problem. Hopefully your spouse will be open to constructive discussion regarding the marriage problem so you can work through it together. If you cannot do work on the marriage problem together, seek the help of a mediator or marriage counselor so you can actually talk out the marriage problem logically. If you cannot work it out after counseling, deep self-reflection and discussions, you should be able to decide whether or not the marriage problem warrants a divorce or not.
Of course, no one can decide this but you.
About the author:
Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to thier clients. Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide! http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com/marriage-problem.htm
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divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
www.divorce.co.uk |
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Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
www.divorcemag.com |
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Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
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DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ... |
www.divorcenet.com |
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The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area. |
www.divorcesupport.com |
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Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ... |
www.divorcesource.com |
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DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
www.divorceinfo.com |
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Divorce - Wex |
An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
www.law.cornell.edu |
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MedlinePlus: Divorce |
Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
www.nlm.nih.gov |
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Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
www.divorceaid.co.uk |
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Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
www.divorce-online.co.uk |
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How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
www.divorceasfriends.com |
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Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
www.divorceonline.com |
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Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
www.divorce.gov.au |
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DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
www.divorcecare.com |
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Divorce Central Home Page |
Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
www.divorcecentral.com |
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Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
www.divorcehelp.com |
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Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
www.direct.gov.uk |
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Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
www.divorcereform.org |
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Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
www.divorcebusting.com |
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