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A New Strategy
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 3, 2003
My mother-in-law drives me crazy! She is an antisocial, critical, know-it-all who can't find anything decent to say about anyone but herself. Every time she comes to visit it puts such a...
A Wedding For What?
Once the actual purpose of a wedding had much more to do with property, parenthood and moral propriety in the eyes of the community. And those 3 elements were strongly interlinked, particularly among those members of society who made the rules.
...
Fears of women's mind and its way outs
Fear is present almost everywhere. It is natural feeling of
mankind. Every person in this world has fear inside, whether it
is in immense quantity or little, but it is there and nobody can
deny it. Fear can be of anything such as fear of...
Nevada Wedding Laws
While you may be headed to Las Vegas for a quickie wedding or a prolonged celebration, take time to find out what the law requires before you buy that plane ticket. Each state’s laws differ, and many couples get married in Las Vegas because the law...
Nourish Your Soul
(c)2001
Nourish- to feed or sustain with substances necessary for life or growth; to promote growth; to maintain or support; to nurture.
Soul- the immaterial essence, animating principle or actuating cause of an individual; the spiritual...
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Family Mental Illness -- Coping
Experience and Coping Strategies of Living with Mental Illness
"The mental illness of a family member is an unexpected event that disrupts the usual sense of continuity an rhythm in the lifecycle with a profound impact on young family members". (Marsh & Dickens, 1997, p.51)
Mental illness disrupts lives in the following ways:
- economic hardship
- frequent changes of home/residence
- separation/divorce
- secrecy due to the stigma of mental illness
- distancing of neighbors & family members due to a lack of understanding of mental illness
- avoidance of friends due to an unstable home environment
Quite often youth experience Parentification -- that is a role reversal. Often one or more children in the family assume an adult role & take over household responsibilities as well as caretaking of other siblings due to the unavailability of a parent or inability of a parent to perform necessary household and caretaking tasks. Usually the parent and child lack bonding experiences which can result in impaired social experiences.
When a psychotic outbreak, episode or suicide attempt occurs there is an increased reliance and dependence of the ill family member on the rest of the members. Quite often the ill member is in denial of the outbreak and usually experiences confusion, anger and despair. The ill member needs a safe place, food and lots of rest. Meanwhile.....
The rest of the family members are left in a state of shock, crisis and chaos while left to care for the needs of the ill family member. Usually everyone attempts to normalize the experience and to compensate for the disruptive force of the mental illness. The ill member is unaware of the family's unmet needs of the parent's), or children. The spouse is often tending to the ill member, hence children's needs are forgotten.
The social and emotional impact of Mental Illness includes:
- shame, due to stigma and secrecy of the mental illness
- feeling as if your 'head is in the sand'
- frequent state of crisis, chaos, shock &
denial
- hoping against hope that an additional crisis will not occur & the ill member will be healed
- disillusionment, confusion & feelings of hopelessness
- loss of an adult role model (if it is mentally ill parent)
- anger, guilt, frustration or resentment due to unmet needs and the inability to help the ill family member
- perpetual loss
- empathetic pain for other family members
- feelings of isolation and loneliness
- shattered trust
- often and unclear sense of reality
- low self-concept
- unmet needs
Coping Strategies:
- Do not do anything harmful to yourself
- Establish and set goals for yourself
- Find healthy avenues of escape, to divert or distract yourself such as: reading, jogging, sports, visit friends or becoming involved in activities outside the home
- Seek the support of professionals, such as a therapist, doctor, etc.
- Recognize or establish boundaries between yourself and the ill member
- Educate yourself about the illness
- Engage in activities and associate with individuals who reinforce or boost your self-esteem
©2005 Author: Pauline Fitzgerald, MA, RCC
Connections Counselling / www.connectionscounselling.com / 604-850-8685
About The Author
Pauline Fitzgerald has been involved in counselling for twenty years; first as a paraprofessional, on crisis lines, peer counselling at university and as a volunteer in many organizations. For the past ten years she has worked in education, offering knowledge, compassion and caring to teens, children, families and staff. In 1999 Pauline began working as a counsellor at both high schools and elementary schools. Here she offered her support to children, teens, teachers and parents. Her honest, compassionate, accepting, caring demeanor, accompanied by a keen sense of humour endear her to youth and adults alike.
connectionscounselling@yahoo.ca
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divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
www.divorce.co.uk |
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Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
www.divorcemag.com |
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Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
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DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ... |
www.divorcenet.com |
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The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area. |
www.divorcesupport.com |
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Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ... |
www.divorcesource.com |
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DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
www.divorceinfo.com |
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Divorce - Wex |
An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
www.law.cornell.edu |
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MedlinePlus: Divorce |
Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
www.nlm.nih.gov |
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Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
www.divorceaid.co.uk |
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Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
www.divorce-online.co.uk |
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How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
www.divorceasfriends.com |
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Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
www.divorceonline.com |
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Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
www.divorce.gov.au |
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DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
www.divorcecare.com |
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Divorce Central Home Page |
Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
www.divorcecentral.com |
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Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
www.divorcehelp.com |
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Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
www.direct.gov.uk |
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Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
www.divorcereform.org |
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Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
www.divorcebusting.com |
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