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Divorce Actually Makes Us Stronger
My friends call me the "Divorce Poster Child".
At the age of 20 I was married, and by 22 I had our first child. My husband was away at work every weekday, so it was just myself and the baby, keeping each other company from seven in the...
Family Ties – When to Let Go
Ruth consulted with me because she was confused about what to do regarding her mother, her brother, and her son.
From the time Ruth was born, she never felt like she belonged in her family. Her mother ignored Ruth, obviously preferring her...
He called her Mister, The Novel
a story of a woman who dared to live above her means, only to discover that life is life no matter what level you own. Only to realize that being at the bottom is sometimes better than at the top!
She curtseyed as he took her heart. "Thank...
Reflections On Recharging
Reflections On Recharging
It was the tired chiming of a well-loved mantel clock whose batteries were in need of replacement that reminded me of how precious time truly is, how it marches on even when one is at a standstill in life. Strange that...
To Love Forever
Some time ago we were leading a college seminar for sexually sophisticated, exuberant and articulate young couples from a local church when James, one of the husbands, said: Nancy and I have long since learned how to insert Tab A into Slot B, so we...
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Marriage, Children and Divorce: When "le music" stops
It can happen in many ways. Sometimes, suddenly, out of the
blue, with no warning whatsoever. Other times, the music slowly,
gradually, fades to a deafening silence.
Divorce is the great plague on American families today. More
than 40% of adults under 40 are children of divorced parents.
The U.S. now has the highest divorce rate (roughly 44%) of the
Western nations, though it's slightly declining. Avoiding it,
preparing for it and dealing with the consequences of when the
music stops involve millions of us every day.
Here in France, where the "use" of a lover is accepted and
frequent, the current divorce rate is 39%, having more than
tripled since 1970. The trend is alarming. Even the French find
their own institution of marriage "moins formidable" than before.
Sitting in this near-empty café, I'm struck how the odds those
lovers smooching on the Seine might marry, but then divorce, has
shot up like my blood pressure now, thanks to my
less-than-attentive waiter. Infidelity, financial strains,
sexual problems, parenting differences, poor anger management,
career incompatibility and, of course, the catch-all
"irreconcilable differences," cause marriages to dissolve and
families to suffer.
Perhaps the pain becomes too great. Or the notion things are
hopeless and won't change, or it will take too long and be too
much work cause couples to pull the plug, give up. Hopelessness
is a powerful force, robbing us of energy and initiative.
Of course, the stressful consequences of divorce can be
devastating emotionally, financially and on any children. How
parents inform their children and negotiate future parenting
responsibilities affect how children will react to the news.
It's best to tell your children together, simply, honestly and
directly. Don't go into detail about why or bash your spouse.
It's okay to reveal your sadness, while allowing them to
also
show their feelings. If you're separating and not sure about
divorce, don't make predictions or promises you can't keep. Try
to keep things as consistent as possible.
Let your children know they're not responsible, that nothing
they've done is causing the separation, and they can't do
anything to make you get back together. Do not use your children
as communication go-betweens. Assure them you both love them and
will continue to take care of them.
Most people entering marriage expect it to last. Success worth
having is worth fighting for...through both the exhilarating
highs and mind-numbing lows.
Barring physical abuse, couples can repair and improve their
marriages. I've seen 'em do it countless times in San Diego marriage
counseling. Sometimes it's quicker and easier than expected.
Sometimes it takes time.
Well, the music between my now-empty café waiter and me has
dropped to one decibel. Clearly, he has more important things to
do than attend to beaucoup-euros-paying little ol' me. I
consider divorcing him (C'est la vie, c'est la guerre), but
decide to give it another shot. Monsieur!...pardon, monsieur!
Okay, I've had enough. The music's died. I'm leaving. Hey, bud,
Happy Bastille Day! Wait! Mon Dieu, he's coming over! I hear
music.
Before you bid adieu to your duet, consider the assistance of an
experienced, well-regarded marriage counselor.
For more information: http://www.advance-counseling.com/
About the author:
Dr. Marshall Colt is Executive Director of Advance Counseling,
LLC in San Diego, serving clients since 1994. Licensed in
California, Colorado and Florida, Dr. Colt has been in private
practice for over 11 years, working with a variety of people
dealing with the challenges of adolescence and adult life. See:
http://www.advance-counseling./com
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| divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
| An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
| www.divorce.co.uk |
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| Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
| Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcemag.com |
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| Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
| DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ... |
| www.divorcenet.com |
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| The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
| a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area. |
| www.divorcesupport.com |
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| Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
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| www.divorcesource.com |
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| DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
| Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
| www.divorceinfo.com |
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| Divorce - Wex |
| An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
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| MedlinePlus: Divorce |
| Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
| The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
| www.divorceaid.co.uk |
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| Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
| The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
| www.divorce-online.co.uk |
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| How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
| Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
| www.divorceasfriends.com |
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| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
| An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
| www.divorceonline.com |
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| Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
| In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
| www.divorce.gov.au |
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| DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
| DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcecare.com |
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| Divorce Central Home Page |
| Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
| www.divorcecentral.com |
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| Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
| Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
| www.divorcehelp.com |
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| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
| Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
| www.direct.gov.uk |
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| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
| John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
| www.divorcereform.org |
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| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
| Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
| www.divorcebusting.com |
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