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Building Your House of Faith
Do you have all the tools you need to build a house of faith?
If you were remodeling your home and were going to add an extra bedroom, but the only tool you had was a screwdriver, would you work and struggle to build the room with only a...
He Said, She Said: Communicating With The Opposite Sex
Communication in relationships comes up a lot in personal and professional coaching sessions. In their quests for a fulfilling, successful, accomplished, meaningful lives; my clients have to interact with the opposite sex - it's true. And in doing...
Nourish Your Soul
(c)2001
Nourish- to feed or sustain with substances necessary for life or growth; to promote growth; to maintain or support; to nurture.
Soul- the immaterial essence, animating principle or actuating cause of an individual; the spiritual...
Signs Of A Cheating Spouse...and How They Differ From Signs Of Infidelity
Cheating is different from infidelity?
Yes, I believe so. Signs of a cheating spouse will be different from signs of infidelity.
In talking to thousands of people embroiled with a cheating spouse or infidelity over the past two plus decades,...
Why Receive Christian Pre-Marital Counseling?
“Love is long suffering, and is kind; love has no envy, love is not boastful, love does not behave itself inappropriately, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, rejoices not in injustice, but rejoices in the truth; love bears...
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The Secret To Success In Courtship And Marriage, Sex And Happiness (Part 2)
It seems much easier to fall in love than to stay in love. --DR. KAREN KAYSER.
Would you want to marry in haste and repent at leisure? No, folk. May that not be your destiny. But you see, marriage is like a packed theater with some uninterested spectators wanting to get out, and other interested ones waiting outside, wishing to get in.
If you think though that marriage can solve all of your problems, you are mistaken. Ask a married friend. But it can give you a measure of security and satisfaction if you play by the rules.
But we forget the rules, before we rush into matrimony. And when a sailor forgets his navigation rules, he suffers a shipwreck.
You see, people enter into marriage relationships with little or no preparation. If you were entering the university for example, you will be asked to sit for a qualifying exam. You may even be asked to show other supporting qualifications like the TOEFL if you were heading for a U.S. university.
But these are small things compared to the permanent relationship of marriage. Yet the only requirement in the marriage registry is your signature. Nothing else.
However, there are dangers to watch out for just before you append your signature to that marriage certificate. And what are they?
Failed Expectations
People think of marriage as a kind of fiction story where the characters live happily ever after. But it is never so. Because the great expectation of your Sleeping Beauty or Prince Charming may turn out to be a bad dream. The love, attention and support that you badly craved before marriage may turn out to be a tale of rejection and disillusion.
Incompatibility
You may also discover after the marriage that both of you are poles apart -- with different interests. Those characteristics which were hidden before the marriage now becomes manifest. And it becomes a story of if I had known. (No thanks to mismatch and your beguiling mate!)
Conflict
Your Happy Valley or Fortunate Isles, now turns to be a battlefield of squabbling, fighting, and God forbid -- physical violence. The very sweet words, like honeycombs which were used to win your hand in marriage now become weapons of abuse and war.
Apathy
It may be that you will one day find yourself saying: I am no longer interested. And then the marriage drags on and on, like a factory worker tolerating a bad job -- to keep body and soul together. And one day, apathy turns to hate, and you find yourself telling your partner that the game is up!
Money
Do not deceive yourself thinking that money will make you happy. It does the opposite, says Paul Getty the American millionaire.
Now suppose there is bickering over money in a joint venture?
Or suppose your previously rich spouse now suffers financial misfortune? And you who were used to summer holidays in the Virgin Islands, and cruising in yachts in the Mediterranean now see poverty and hardship staring at you in the face? What will you do?
Parenthood
You may find out that the love you had for your mate now begins to drop when children start coming in. The reason may be that you no longer have time for each other, or your mate is now getting old. Is it time to sue for divorce?
Deceit
It may vex you to find out that you are living with an infidel, a betrayal of trust, and not a friend and confidant. Now, suppose you find out that your mate lied to you about his or her history before the marriage? Or what if you find that your mate was cheating on you -- committing adultery?
Sex
Suppose your partner starts depriving you of sex? Or what if sex, which was supposed for enjoyment now becomes mechanical? Some have even used sex as a bargain tool -- buy me a Swiss gold watch, and I will give you sex!
Some wives have woken up after the wedding day to find out that their husbands were impotents, or eunuchs. Husbands have also been told by their wives that they would die if they had sex together. Because they have husbands who satisfy their sexual desires in the spirit world! What would you call that?
Superstition
This may also affect your marriage depending on where you live. Barrenness, miscarriages, unseen attacks, deaths and broken marriages have been supposedly caused by wicked spirits. Does this bother you? Maybe not. But know that wicked spirits exist.
Inlaws
If you allow your inlaws to intrude into your family, they may ruin your marriage. Both of you are now one, and should be able to solve your marital problems without frequenting your parents, or relations for advice.
Friends
What kinds of associates do you and your mate have? Are they unwholesome friends? They will not help your marriage. Know that bad company can corrupt good manners.
These are some of the things may shipwreck a marriage. They may not be the case with your family. But know that there is no perfect family on this earth. So there must be one kind of problem or the other in your family. Now what are required to make a marriage successful?
(To be continued)
Copyright ) 2002, all rights reserved
About the Author:
ARTHUR ZULU, is the author of the best- selling book, HOW TO WRITE A BEST-SELLER. Download your copy and FREE excerpt at : http://www.1stbooks.com/bookview/10975 The above article is taken from a book of the same title, and the book is for sale. For contacts , mailto : controversialwriter@yahoo.com
About the Author
ARTHUR ZULU, is the author of the best- selling book, HOW TO WRITE A BEST-SELLER.
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divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
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Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
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Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
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DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
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The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
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Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
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DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
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Divorce - Wex |
An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
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MedlinePlus: Divorce |
Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
www.nlm.nih.gov |
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Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
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Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
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How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
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Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
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Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
www.divorce.gov.au |
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DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
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Divorce Central Home Page |
Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
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Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
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Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
www.direct.gov.uk |
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Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
www.divorcereform.org |
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Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
www.divorcebusting.com |
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