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Been There, Done That
Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 12, 2004
Fourteen years ago I was divorced from my second wife, her idea. I'll call her Kay. But I never lost my love for her. She married again and had two children. We always remained friends,...
Dating Tip: Don't Work Too Hard
Remember Jerry Hall, the model who married Mick Jagger? Jerry was famous for making this statement:
"My mother said it was simple to keep a man. You must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom."
I...
May I Divorce and Remarry?
Divorce and Remarriage
Ray Stark
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This is a subject that has caused much heartache, spiritual shipwreck and tragic loss of ministry potential. I am not speaking...
Personal Happiness: A Personal Responsibility
Unhappiness can be like a chronic cough, an early symptom of a more serious condition. Most people are either unwilling or unable to face up to the fact that there’s some problem eating them up enough to cause chronic misery.
I always hear...
Raising Emotionally Intelligent Sons
“Mommy, I fell down,” said the 5-year-old to his mother during a recent soccer practice. “Were you tough?” asked his mom. “Yeah,” he said and walked away with his head down. I was at this soccer practice with my daughter, and feeling just a bit...
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Dating Tip: Getting the Commitment
A lot of women want to know how to get a man to commit.
Even though we know better, we still believe (consciously or
subconsciously) that our purpose in life is to get a man to fork
over a two-carat diamond and a house in the suburbs. At the dawn
of 2006, this is still perceived as the pinnacle of success for
women.
As a result, too many of us stay in relationships that don't
make us happy. We tell ourselves that if we say the right thing,
do the right thing, buy the right thing, we can get some guy to
marry us and validate us in the eyes of our friends, our
parents, and society.
We play games with our sexuality. We submit to unnecessary
surgeries and wear clothing that make us candidates for
pneumonia, all in an effort to hook a man. We have sex not
because it's what we want, but because we want to keep a guy's
interest. We stop having sex when he doesn't come forth with a
ring because, as our mothers told us, "Why buy the cow when the
milk's free?"
And, in the end, it usually doesn't work. We don't get the
commitment. We wonder why, deep down inside, we are ultimately
unlovable.
The reason for it is simple. We don't love ourselves. Heck, we
don't even own ourselves. We dress, act, speak, and have sex to
please (or manipulate) others. The fact that, at the tail end of
2005, we still use expressions like, "Why buy the cow when the
milk's free," is astonishing.
You are not a cow. You are a woman. You will attract a man who
will gladly, eagerly commit to you when you start believing that
you have a bigger purpose in
life than getting married.
This means you:
Dress for yourself, not for someone else.
Stop postponing doing things you want to do because you
think you need a guy to do them with (or that you have to "check
with" your boyfriend first).
Stop waiting for some guy to commit to you. If he says
he's not ready, do yourself a favor and back off. Stop being
taken for granted. Make plans that don't include him (this will
do one of two things; either he'll realize he can't live without
you, or you'll realize he definitely can).
Have sex when it's right and because you enjoy it. Don't
use (or not use) your body to "get" a man.
In other words, get a life. Love yourself. Treat yourself as a
treasure that has yet to be discovered.
There are plenty of tricks you can use to hook a man, but they
usually involve manipulation, deceit, and the loss of yourself.
And, while they usually don't work, it's worse when they do.
Women who used them tend to be divorced or miserably married
today.
So, make a commitment to yourself. Be true to yourself. Value
yourself. You will send a signal to men that you are special,
different, and worth their time and effort.
One of those men will prove to be worth your time and effort,
too.
About the author:
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and
Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Sign up for free dating tips at
http://www.marrysmart.com . Check out her blog at
http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com
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| divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
| An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
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| Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
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| Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
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| The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
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| DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
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| www.divorceinfo.com |
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| Divorce - Wex |
| An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
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| MedlinePlus: Divorce |
| Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
| The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
| www.divorceaid.co.uk |
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| Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
| The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
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| How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
| Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
| www.divorceasfriends.com |
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| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
| An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
| www.divorceonline.com |
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| Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
| In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
| www.divorce.gov.au |
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| Divorce Central Home Page |
| Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
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| Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
| Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
| www.divorcehelp.com |
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| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
| Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
| www.direct.gov.uk |
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| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
| John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
| www.divorcereform.org |
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| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
| Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
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