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A New Strategy
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 3, 2003
My mother-in-law drives me crazy! She is an antisocial, critical, know-it-all who can't find anything decent to say about anyone but herself. Every time she comes to visit it puts such a...
"An Excerpt from "Midlife Dating Manual for Women"
MUSTARD, MAYO, CUT THE PICKLES Trust radius, an EQ competency, suggests trusting someone until you have been proven wrong, but you don’t want to damage yourself in the process. Midlife dating has its perils, and if you’ve been out of the dating...
It Pays For Single Christians To Date Other Like-Minded People
Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's greatest challenges.
Afterall, forever is a long time. You want to make the right decision.
Dating itself can be really trying. It can be hard to find the right people. What if they...
May I Divorce and Remarry?
Divorce and Remarriage
Ray Stark
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This is a subject that has caused much heartache, spiritual shipwreck and tragic loss of ministry potential. I am not speaking...
The Secret To Success In Courtship And Marriage, Sex And Happiness. (Part 1)
In a high-divorce society, not only are more unhappy marriages likely to end in divorce, but in addition, more marriages are likely to become unhappy. -- COUNCIL ON FAMILIES IN AMERICA. ...
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Why Are There So Many Fat Kids?
I can remember when there was only one “chubby” kid per class. Now one in three, by my informal survey and the government’s official tally, would be eligible for this form of verbal abuse. Actually, one child in ten is considered morbidly obese and the other two in ten just obese or overweight.
It’s not just the couch potato, chip-munching, remote controlled kids with the problem. I see plenty of active, fat kids at the baseball games, soccer tournaments and swim races. Many have normal weight parents who are active themselves in sports.
So what are the causes? You’re probably going to blame the fast food industry, cars, and a lack of physical education classes for our children living on the edge of medical self-destruction. Initially I even fell prey to that logic as a family practice physician and former P.E. teacher/coach. But when I really thought about these excuses I realized the causes are still the same as they were forty years ago when I ballooned into tent dresses.
After all, didn’t we have cakes, pies, and Twinkies to eat in the fifties and sixties? Ice cream and potato chips aren’t new. Plus, people used real cream, butter, and sugar in all the treats. I’ve ridden in cars my whole life. I can remember my brother falling out of the car at 50 mph on our way to Grandma’s Sunday dinner of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and cherry pie. Of course that was before seat belts came along.
Here is the real secret to all the “husky” kids circling around the last piece of pizza. They are emotionally empty, not their stomachs. Families are spread out or absent. Children are left to fend for themselves for meals and entertainment. They get bored, stressed out, and use food as a comfort just like adults. Often, parents are in denial that a problem even exists. My 50 lb. weight gain during the later stages of my mother’s illness and eventual death was no accident. It just wasn’t discussed.
Kids get shuttled from one home to
another. Different rules, different environments. Especially with the divorce rate at 50% the so-called blended family requires much adapting by the child. Extended families don’t live nearby. Frequent job transfers, larger homes, and two car payments force both parents to work full time. The idea of sacrificing, saving, and delayed gratification went the way of the fifties and sixties.
With so much work and so many bills parents often arrive home emotionally drained. It is easier to let kids eat whatever they want, watch whatever they want, and listen to whatever they want. It takes more energy to be a parent enforcing rules and boundaries. The average father spends 20 minutes a day interacting with his child. Instead of picnics at the park, hiking, and shooting baskets, families opt for a video and pizza. Sometimes that is the only meal of the week together!
So what can we do? Treat the problem, not the symptom. Each child needs to feel valued. If you ask them whether they would rather have a new car or spend more time with you, the answer will be evident. Listen to your child more, talk less. Be quick to praise, slow to criticize. Regular family meetings promote feelings of belonging and connection. Everyone has a voice. Eat meals together on a regular basis. Preparing them as a team puts fewer demands on any one person and encourages communication.
Look inward, not outward to help solve a weight problem. Seek professional help early before medical problems and poor body image take hold. Your kids deserve it.
About the Author: Katherine A Martin, D.O. - Board Certified Family Practice Physician. Medical Coaching and Consulting. Health for the whole person. Visit my web site at http://www.DO-Medicine.com
Source: www.isnare.com
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| divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
| An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
| www.divorce.co.uk |
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| Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
| Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcemag.com |
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| Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
| DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ... |
| www.divorcenet.com |
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| The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
| a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area. |
| www.divorcesupport.com |
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| Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
| A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ... |
| www.divorcesource.com |
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| DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
| Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
| www.divorceinfo.com |
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| Divorce - Wex |
| An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
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| MedlinePlus: Divorce |
| Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
| The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
| www.divorceaid.co.uk |
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| Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
| The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
| www.divorce-online.co.uk |
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| How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
| Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
| www.divorceasfriends.com |
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| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
| An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
| www.divorceonline.com |
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| Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
| In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
| www.divorce.gov.au |
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| DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
| DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcecare.com |
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| Divorce Central Home Page |
| Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
| www.divorcecentral.com |
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| Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
| Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
| www.divorcehelp.com |
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| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
| Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
| www.direct.gov.uk |
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| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
| John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
| www.divorcereform.org |
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| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
| Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
| www.divorcebusting.com |
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