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"Stupid Advice"

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Word Count: 461
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Resource Box: Rhiannon Hill at www.BookShaker.com

===========================================================

"Stupid Advice"

- by Rhiannon Hill

(c) Rhiannon Hill. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.BookShaker.com

===========================================================

Oscar Wilde said he always passed on advice because it was
of no use whatsoever to him!

He was a wise man. But we're all wise, aren't we?
So why not give advice?

Simple: People usually do know what they're supposed to do
in any given situation, yet for one reason or another,
they're not doing it!

It is frustrating to look at someone else's dilemma and
watch them fail to take what seem obvious remedies.

Remember, everyone is unique, with complex conscious and
unconscious motivations. There are many factors to which the
advisor is not privy.

We usually just want confirmation of a decision already
made. Many of us don't trust ourselves enough to make
decisions. Psychologists say we often make a decision within
a few seconds, but feel the need to go through some checking
process.

Pressure on someone to change their decision may work,
especially if they are unconfident. But your preferred
course of action may not suit them for hundreds of different
reasons. They are NOT you and you are NOT in their shoes. It
can even lead to disaster.

Feelgood satisfaction for the advisor is not a healthy
motivation. It's unethical to give inappropriate advice to
make yourself feel


powerful or needed.

And advice is often manipulative.

My friend was having a party and couldn't decide whether to
fill the house with flowers. A third friend launched into a
whole complicated monologue about the cost of the flowers,
the work involved arranging them, and so on.

The party giver's cat wandered in. I said I wouldn't pet it
because I am allergic to long haired cats. The advice giver
immediately sympathised.

'Oh, I am allergic to so many things, I have to avoid cats,
dust mites, pollen... you name it!'

She reddened and suddenly went very quiet. Her 'advice' was
based on the fact that large number of pollen-laden flowers
would have spoiled the party for her!

An honest response would have been: 'flowers would make it
hard for me to come to your party...'

I don't give advice to psychotherapy clients. We often need
a range of options to process. I just support them in coming
up with options, that's all.

Expert opinion is valuable - but the giver needs to detach
from the outcome.

Practical advice is different: if water is pouring out of a
burst pipe you need the person who knows the location of the
stopcock!

But if someone asks for more abstract 'advice' I'll first
ask what they think they should do, and if they're stuck,
I'll say, 'well, you might want to look at... etc'

That leaves it open. Because hey, if it all goes wrong I
don't want the responsibility of having made the decision
for them!

=======================================
Rhiannon Hill is the author of "10 Stupid
Things That Can Screw Up Your Life" Get the
no-bull self-help book that tells it like it is...
http://www.bookshaker.com/product_info.php?products_id=102
=======================================

About the Author

Rhiannon Hill is the author of "10 Stupid
Things That Can Screw Up Your Life" Get the
no-bull self-help book that tells it like it is...
http://www.bookshaker.com/product_info.php?products_id=102
=======================================

 

Ethics Updates Home Page. Moral theory; relativism; pluralism ...
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ethics.sandiego.edu
 
Ethics Resource Center: Celebrating 85 Years of Ethics Surveying ...
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www.ethics.org
 
Ethics - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
One form of applied ethics applies normative ethical theories to specific ... There are several sub-branches of applied ethics examining the ethical ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
Ethics
Quarterly international journal of moral, political, and legal philosophy. Edited by John Deigh, and published by the University of Chicago Press.
www.journals.uchicago.edu
 
Ethics, Electronic Edition
(ET ISSUES AVAILABLE ONLY SINCE VOLUME 112 NO 1). Help with Searching the Ethics Electronic Edition. Help with Access to the Ethics Electronic Edition ...
www.journals.uchicago.edu
 
Ethics [Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy]
Describes the field and its division in metaethics, normative ethics, and applied ethics. By James Fieser.
www.iep.utm.edu
 
JSTOR: Ethics
JSTOR provides a digital archive of the print version of Ethics . ... Founded in 1890, Ethics is an international journal of moral, political, ...
www.jstor.org
 
Institute for Global Ethics | Home Page
An independent, nonprofit, nonsectarian, and nonpartisan organization dedicated to promoting awareness and discussion of global ethics.
www.globalethics.org
 
Business Ethics
Business Ethics Articles from George S. May International Company ... Links to other e-business ethics articles can also be found at this site. ...
www.web-miner.com
 
The Online Ethics Center for Engineering & Science
The Online Ethics Center for Engineering and Science mission is to provide engineers, scientists, and science and engineering students with resources for ...
onlineethics.org
 
Title Page: Spinoza's Ethics / Elwes Translation
Ethics Demonstrated in Geometric Order AND DIVIDED INTO FIVE PARTS, ... This edition of the Ethics utilizes internal hypertext coding to faciilitate the ...
www.mtsu.edu
 
APA Ethics Office: Ethics Information
American Psychological Association sanctioned resources for ethics in psychology, including guidelines for human and animal studies, rules and procedures, ...
www.apa.org
 
Aristotle's Ethics (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
Discussion of Aristotle's ethical views; by Richard Kraut.
plato.stanford.edu
 
IEEE Code of Ethics
Code of ethics for members.
www.ieee.org
 
st james ethics centre - imagine a more ethical world ...
Not-for-profit organisation which provides a non-judgemental forum for the promotion and exploration of ethics.
www.ethics.org.au
 
Markkula Center for Applied Ethics at Santa Clara University ...
The Markkula Center for Applied Ethics at Santa Clara University is one of the preeminent centers for research and dialogue on ethical issues in critical ...
www.scu.edu
 
Poynter Online - Ethics
How Poynter developed ethics guidelines for our own publications. ... In creating online ethics guidelines, Poynter asks for your feedback. By Bob Steele ...
www.poynter.org
 
ACM: Code of Ethics
Code of Ethics and Professional Conduct.
www.acm.org
 
US Senate Ethics Committee
Investigates allegations of misconduct by members, and recommends disciplinary action to the full Senate.
ethics.senate.gov
 
LegalEthics.com: The Intersection of Ethics and the Law
Legalethics.com offers cases, codes, opinions, articles, links, and other reference material relating to ethics and the law.
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