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Defusing Family Anger: 3 Keys to Reducing Conflict
Esther, 55, and Jim, 71 are successful professionals who married five years ago. Unfortunately, conflicts have escalated between Esther and Jim�s adult children. Things reached the point that Ester was no longer welcome at holiday family...
Gift Giving During Thanksgiving Adds That Special Touch
Many of us believe Christmas is one of the most celebrated holidays, right? Actually, one of the most notable occasions is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is surprisingly a widely celebrated holiday that crosses over many nationalities and religions....
How To Keep Love Alive In Your Marriage
In the beginning of a relationship, love seems to have a life of its own. Without much effort, you feel like you are on top of the world. You catch yourself smiling and laughing often, and feeling warm inside whenever you are with your loved...
Where Else Would You Take the Family for St. Patrick's Day?
Dia dhuit, hello! “The road from Chicago to Ireland is marked in green,” they say, and the annual dying of the Chicago River emerald green is described as “right up there with the parting of the sea by Moses and the Pyramids of Egypt.” Well, what’s...
Where Else Would You Take the Family for St. Patrick's Day?
Dia dhuit, hello! “The road from Chicago to Ireland is marked in green,” they say, and the annual dying of the Chicago River emerald green is described as “right up there with the parting of the sea by Moses and the Pyramids of Egypt.” Well, what’s...
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Home For The Holidays: Start That Conversation
Annie waited too long to have that talk with her parents. It was too late to have it now as they were both beyond comprehending the seriousness of their situation. As a result, she had to break the bad news to a long lost brother, and deal with her resistant parents who had convinced themselves that they were independent in their own home, while she had to make some very difficult decisions for them.
It’s never too soon to begin the discussion of aging. But if you have put it off, ease into that conversation as soon as the first, what may seem minor event occurs which indicate a loved one’s independence may be in jeopardy. Since it is difficult to begin such a talk, here are some suggestions which may help:
- use another family’s situation or news story as an example or starting point.
- cut out an article or an ad as a reference point.
- ask questions at a family gathering, but keep it light.
- plan a family meeting with the agenda known by all beforehand.
Starting the conversation with “I”
statements ensure that you will not sound accusatory and lets your feelings come through. For example:
- I am worried…
- I feel…
- I am concerned…
- I have noticed…
Engage in a conversation, taking turns, instead of talking at others. Use questions:
- What things concern you?
- What do you want to do about…
- What do you want to do when…
Conveying love and concern is important. Sometimes an outside person can have more influence than those in the immediate family. Be patient. If the first attempt doesn’t go well, keep your sense of humor and try again at a later time.
Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters coach and author of several products to assist families experiencing aging including the pamphlet, Don’t Be a Burden: 100 Tips. Get free articles and information at www.SOSpueblo.com.
sospueblo@yahoo.com
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