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Achieve Instant Calm
In her newly updated best-selling classic, New Menopausal Years The Wise Woman Way, Susun Weed offers a number of approaches women can use to calm jangly nerves, achieve greater overall calm, and cope on-the-spot with stressful situations. In...

Dealing with the backdrop of fear and confusion.
We are at war. Weather you are for it or against it, it is now a horse that can’t be put back in the barn. With it comes hopelessness, helplessness and the ever-bounding mysteries of life and mind. We are at war. Weather you are for it or...

Finding Your Soulmate
Loves mysteries in soules does grow. --John Donne I have been thinking about soulmates a lot lately. Recently a fellow relationship coach told me the story of Heather, a woman in her early 40’s. She has never married, though she has had several...

Sex and the Single Mom
Single moms, more so than anyone, have to be exceedingly careful about the type of man they select as life-long partners. No sensible woman wants to be judged soley on her appearence or sex appeal, right? Moreoever, who would even want a...

THE RIGHT TO MEND
Whenever you drop a glass or a plate, it shatters into pieces. There they lie, all jagged and in different shapes and sizes. There are even some pieces that are so small that they could never be glued back into place and can only be swept up and...

 
Coping with the Emotional Aspects of Clutter Clearing

While a
One reason so many clutter-clearing efforts fail or remain uncompleted is that we have this idea that all that it takes to get rid of clutter is a little effort and determination. While a "just do it" attitude does help you get started and persevere, clutter-clearing is not quite so simple as that. Running unprepared into the not-so-simple aspects of clutter can bring all of our good intentions to a halt.

For every piece of clutter that has piled up because we've been too busy or too distracted to deal with it, there's probably at least one piece that you have avoided dealing with for emotional reasons. The underlying problem is not procrastination, it's that dealing with clutter means dealing with our own difficult emotions:

- Getting rid of clothes we'll never fit into again means accepting our current shape and level (or lack) of fitness.
- Getting rid of an expensive item we never use means admitting that we made a poor decision when we bought it.
- Getting rid of books and magazines we don't have time to read means accepting that we will never have enough time or attention to explore every topic that's of interest to us.
- Getting rid of possessions remaining after a loved one has died means coming to terms with our loss and grief.

Acknowledge to yourself that clearing out your clutter will involve some emotional risk. Start by exploring why keeping certain kinds of clutter feels comforting to you. For example:

- If you grew up with very frugal parents who taught you not to be wasteful, getting rid of items that are still useful may trigger feelings of guilt. (This is very common among the "Baby Boomer" generation, whose parents may have experienced hardship and deprivation during the Great Depression and/or World War II years.)
- If you grew up poor and hungry, surrounding yourself with material goods may feel reassuring that you will always have enough.
- If you suffer from low self-esteem or come from an abusive environment, you may unconsciously feel that you don't deserve beautiful surroundings, or that you will be punished for trying to create them for yourself.
- If you have experienced a difficult loss through the death of a loved one or the end of a marriage, getting rid of that person's things can feel like a betrayal of your love.
- If you have an attic or basement full of supplies for a hobby you hoped would become a career, clearing it out may feel like giving up on your dreams, or it may force a confrontation with the fact that you are getting older.
- If you lack confidence in pursuing a long-held dream, keeping your clutter can keep you from having to go out and actually do it.

Healing and growth come from recognizing your feelings, no matter what they are. If your enthusiasm for clutter clearing suddenly turns into feelings of anger, resentment at the task itself, or a vague sense of anxiety, that's a sign to pause and


reflect on what deeper feelings are being triggered.

Many of our reasons for hanging on to clutter are, at their core, about fear: fear that we won't be equal to the challenges of the future, and fear of confronting our regrets about the past. Clutter can be comforting; it acts as a buffer between us and reality.

Here are some points to help you maintain a perspective of clarity as you work on your clutter:

- Living clutter-free does not mean living in a sterile environment; it means getting rid of the excess so that everything around you is there for a reason.
- The past is over and the future isn't here yet. Confronting the emotions raised by clutter will make living in the present less threatening. In the course of clutter clearing, you may get rid of something that you later wish you'd kept. Emotionally healthy people do feel regret; but then they let it go, trusting that an equal or better item will be available if they need it.
- Letting go of regrets about your present clutter will help free you from the fear of regret that drives the accumulation of future clutter
- People who are able to live without clutter trust themselves to make good choices. As you become more conscious of what you allow into and keep in your home, you will develop a higher level of trust your own decisions.
- Hoarding against an uncertain future reveals a lack of faith in the ability of the Universe to provide what you need at the time you need it. The antidote is to focus on gratitude for all that you now have, and for all the ways in which you are already being provided for.

If difficult feelings come up for you as you work through your clutter, acknowledge them. You may discover that you just aren't ready to confront some tasks or part with some things yet. It is self-defeating to push yourself all at once through changes that are too large for you today. Be gentle with yourself, take baby steps, and work at your own pace.

Remember that the space you create by releasing clutter will allow all kinds of gifts to flow into your life, on the physical, spiritual, and emotional levels. Letting go of excess makes room for blessings.

© 2003 Stephanie Roberts

[exerpted from "Clutter-Free Forever!", Lotus Pond Press, 2003]

GOT CLUTTER?!? Stephanie Roberts' CLUTTER-FREE FOREVER! Home Coaching Program is a new approach to clutter clearing that reveals the hidden emotional and psychological reasons behind clutter. And it shows you, step-by-step, how you can reclaim control of your space and your life. Find out more at http://www.clutter-free-forever.com.

About the Author

Stephanie Roberts is a feng shui consultant and writer based in Maui, HI. She is the author of "Fast Feng Shui: 9 Simple Principles for Transforming Your Life by Energizing Your Home," a #1 "Most Popular" title in its category at Amazon.com.


 

Center For Grief, Loss and Transition, St. Paul, Minneapolis ...
The Center for Grief is a St. Paul, Minnesota provider of specialized therapy and education in the areas of complicated grief, trauma, and life transition.
www.griefloss.org
 
Grief Loss & Recovery | Poems, Articles & Personal Stories - Home
Grief poems, articles and personal stories about grief, loss, recovery, bereavement, death, dying, funerals, spirituality, suicide, depression, ...
grieflossrecovery.com
 
Grief Loss & Recovery: Articles
Grief poems, articles & memoirs about grief, loss, recovery, bereavement, death, dying, funerals, spirituality, suicide, depression, afterlife & God.
www.grieflossrecovery.com
 
Grief, Loss and Bereavement
Pregnancy loss, Dealing with the death of an adolescent peer.
www.ncpamd.com
 
Coping With Death, Grief, and Loss Handout
Coping with Death, Grief, and Loss. What is Grief? Grief occurs in response to the loss of someone or something. The loss may involve a loved one, a job, ...
www.uiowa.edu
 
Dr. Phil.com - Advice - Health - Grief/Loss
Mind and Body · Grief/Loss · Pregnancy · Life Strategies · Money · Parenting · Relationships/Sex · Self Matters · Weight ...
www.drphil.com
 
Open Directory - Health: Mental Health: Grief, Loss and Bereavement
Bereavement Poems and Articles - Poems and Articles connected with grief, loss and bereavement. Includes links and an online memorial tribute. ...
dmoz.org
 
Grief and Loss, Funeral Arrangements, End of Life - AARP
Offering articles, discussions, resources and tools for coping with grief and the loss of a loved one.
www.aarp.org
 
Self-Improvement - Grief-Loss Ezine Articles
EzineArticles.com allows ezine or email list publishers to upload or download free expert content that can be used within email newsletters or websites.
ezinearticles.com
 
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GRIEF LOSS Web Sites - Sponsored Listings. Associated Sites · Grief Counseling Tools · Grief Recovery Skills Help Others, Help Yourself ...
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We shuffle into a break room and he. 1 2 3 Next >> · RSS Feed: Grief Loss and Bereavement Feed. © Copyright 2000-2006 eNotalone.com Inc. All rights reserved.
www.enotalone.com
 
Living Beyond Loss -- Surviving Grief, Loss and the Death of ...
Site focusing on surviving the grief and loss associated with the death of a child. Features online journal entries and essays.
adrr.com
 
Grief and Loss Resource Centre
Deals with the many aspects of grief. From making funeral arrangements to online memorials.
www.rockies.net
 
Hillsborough: Grief, loss felt at teen's old school
... 15-year-old arrested after car chase, crash · Grief, loss felt at teen's old school · Newborn's family shaken ... Grief, loss felt at teen's old school ...
www.sptimes.com
 
each
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EB Awareness Bracelets - Advertise on this site - Link to Us - Free Internet Access - Book Store (inspirational/helpful) - Book Store (grief/loss) ...
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Birthmothers: Grief, Loss, Shame & Guilt. Acknowledging grief over the loss of a child through adoption, and dealing with feelings of shame and guilt are ...
birthfamily.adoption.com
 
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Google Directory - Health > Mental Health > Grief, Loss and ...
Resource to find consolation, emotional support, encouragement, stress management, balance, and serenity to help those experiencing grief, loss, ...
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Links, information and resources for the loss of children and parents, death and dying, support groups, healing center.
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