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A Time of Grief and Healing After Separation and Divorce
I thought I would never feel the light of life again when I realized that my marriage was going to end. In fact I went through a painful year of not knowing if it would end. I had several months of suspecting that she was having an affair. There was...

ADHD at Home with Mom
As a Mom at home, do you feel overwhelmed by all  the little tasks you have to manage: house, children, social schedules and so many more? Read on to find a possible answer to your problems.  Michelle's friends called her...

Learning To Live
An article of 1131 words acknowledging death and offering 10 steps to living a full life: how to decrease your fear of death, protect yourself & your assets to minimize your worry about death, and how to maximize your enjoyment of life. Death....

Learning to See by Traveling with a Teddy Bear
"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly" Sam Keen This week, I had the pleasure of going to Knoxville to film two segments with the NBC station. One segment included my daughter. We...

Luxury For Less : Decorating on a Budget
Get ready to have the home of your dreams on your terms and budget! Luxury for less is so easy when you follow the 10 easy ideas outlined below: Get Creative: Get your creative juices flowing! Probably the most important part of making the most of...

 
I Love You, But . . .

How cliché and hurtful to hear the phrase "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". It's a crock. It's a noble attempt for the speaker to feel good about ending a relationship. They say this to ease their own pain and to make themselves feel like they bowed out gracefully. It's bull. There's usually something else going on and the recipient usually feels a loss and at fault. You are either loved or you're not. That's the bottom line. So which is it? The recipient struggles to find out and enters the darkest of hours searching their heart and soul trying to find out.

It hurts to hear similar phrases. The recipient feels that there may be a chance if they are still loved in any fashion. They may also have found guilt in themselves for many different reasons. They will rationalize their own behavior and lay the entire blame on themselves. It's a natural instinct to do so, but it is so unfair. The recipient will go through many phases of emotions; hurt, remorse, anger, and the list goes on and on. This dark moment can disrupt their lives and cause so much harm. They will go through a period where they can't eat, sleep, and function properly in their daily activities. Why? They are still in love.

The emotional roller coaster is relentless. The best advice for this person who is hurting is to share their thoughts and feelings with family, friends and trusted co-workers. Don't keep it bottled up inside. Keeping it to oneself with only intensify the lasting effects. It's difficult to be strong in such a situation, and the person hurting can not do it alone. Support is the best way to easy the pain, even if the person feels like a failure or embarrassed over the particulars of the failing relationship.

The most important thing is to go through the emotions. Let it all hang out, so to speak. Whether in private or among trusted individuals, just let it out. It's amazing what kind of relief you can have by sharing your thoughts and true emotions. Break down and cry. Shout if you want. It doesn't matter. Just get it out. It's part of the healing stage.

Denial is a natural feeling also, but there will come a time when true reality kicks in. It's a state of mind. How you vent that denial or accept it will determine your next


course. It's also a part of the healing stage or acceptance. There is no right way or wrong way to do this, but you will come to the point where anger kicks in.

Don't let thoughts of revenge rule your state of mind. It's so easy to find ways to seek revenge. It's a natural defense, but it's not worth it. Remember, you are much better than that. Don't allow yourself to stoop to a level that you will later regret. Try your best to be yourself. Don't do anything out of the norm, whether you have accepted the end of the relationship or have decided to sit back and see what happens. Be an adult and one day you will be proud of the way you handled you the situation.

The one thing you can do is reassure yourself that you did nothing wrong. Your partner had the obligation of communication. If something was wrong, they should have spoken up. They would have done this if they truly 'loved you'. That's not much consolation in your time of grief, but it's the truth.

If you and your partner can work through this dark moment in your relationship, then that's a victory that will forever create a bond that will be so difficult to break. It will prove to build a stronger relationship than you ever have imagined. Sometimes it takes a traumatic moment in our lives to acquire a solid foundation. We make think we have it but the test of time and life's trials will prove whether or not we can build that sort of foundation.

It's going to hurt your heart and soul, but if it was meant to be, it will. Have faith. There is always a purpose in life and we may never understand it at that the time, but someday we will.

Patience is the worst part. It's a virtue that will pay off in the end, no matter the outcome of your ordeal, whether you believe it or not.

The grass is always greener on the other side, and it's natural to want to purchase a gallon of 'Round-Up' and kill it. Have patience. Crab grass can grow everywhere but it's the 'weed and feed' that builds that everlasting strong relationship.

About the author:

Elaine Lemons is an author on a site for Creative Writing ( http://www.Writing.Com/ ). Visit her portfolio at http://www.writing.com/authors/october2002

 

Center For Grief, Loss and Transition, St. Paul, Minneapolis ...
The Center for Grief is a St. Paul, Minnesota provider of specialized therapy and education in the areas of complicated grief, trauma, and life transition.
www.griefloss.org
 
Grief Loss & Recovery | Poems, Articles & Personal Stories - Home
Grief poems, articles and personal stories about grief, loss, recovery, bereavement, death, dying, funerals, spirituality, suicide, depression, ...
grieflossrecovery.com
 
Grief Loss & Recovery: Articles
Grief poems, articles & memoirs about grief, loss, recovery, bereavement, death, dying, funerals, spirituality, suicide, depression, afterlife & God.
www.grieflossrecovery.com
 
Grief, Loss and Bereavement
Pregnancy loss, Dealing with the death of an adolescent peer.
www.ncpamd.com
 
Coping With Death, Grief, and Loss Handout
Coping with Death, Grief, and Loss. What is Grief? Grief occurs in response to the loss of someone or something. The loss may involve a loved one, a job, ...
www.uiowa.edu
 
Dr. Phil.com - Advice - Health - Grief/Loss
Mind and Body · Grief/Loss · Pregnancy · Life Strategies · Money · Parenting · Relationships/Sex · Self Matters · Weight ...
www.drphil.com
 
Open Directory - Health: Mental Health: Grief, Loss and Bereavement
Bereavement Poems and Articles - Poems and Articles connected with grief, loss and bereavement. Includes links and an online memorial tribute. ...
dmoz.org
 
Grief and Loss, Funeral Arrangements, End of Life - AARP
Offering articles, discussions, resources and tools for coping with grief and the loss of a loved one.
www.aarp.org
 
Self-Improvement - Grief-Loss Ezine Articles
EzineArticles.com allows ezine or email list publishers to upload or download free expert content that can be used within email newsletters or websites.
ezinearticles.com
 
GriefLoss.com | Grief Loss | Grief Digest | Grief Journal | Randy ...
GRIEF LOSS Web Sites - Sponsored Listings. Associated Sites · Grief Counseling Tools · Grief Recovery Skills Help Others, Help Yourself ...
www.griefloss.com
 
Grief Loss and Bereavement
We shuffle into a break room and he. 1 2 3 Next >> · RSS Feed: Grief Loss and Bereavement Feed. © Copyright 2000-2006 eNotalone.com Inc. All rights reserved.
www.enotalone.com
 
Living Beyond Loss -- Surviving Grief, Loss and the Death of ...
Site focusing on surviving the grief and loss associated with the death of a child. Features online journal entries and essays.
adrr.com
 
Grief and Loss Resource Centre
Deals with the many aspects of grief. From making funeral arrangements to online memorials.
www.rockies.net
 
Hillsborough: Grief, loss felt at teen's old school
... 15-year-old arrested after car chase, crash · Grief, loss felt at teen's old school · Newborn's family shaken ... Grief, loss felt at teen's old school ...
www.sptimes.com
 
each
This page contains info about grief, stages of grief loss, stages of grieving, ten stages of grief, unresolved grief, words to comfort someone grieving ...
www.each.org.uk
 
Nicky's EB Info World ~ Welcome to the World of Epidermolysis Bullosa
EB Awareness Bracelets - Advertise on this site - Link to Us - Free Internet Access - Book Store (inspirational/helpful) - Book Store (grief/loss) ...
www.ebinfoworld.com
 
Grief, Loss, Shame & Guilt - Birth, Birthmother, Child, Grief ...
Birthmothers: Grief, Loss, Shame & Guilt. Acknowledging grief over the loss of a child through adoption, and dealing with feelings of shame and guilt are ...
birthfamily.adoption.com
 
Grief - Loss
Grief /Loss:. A Heartbreaking Choice A website for those parents who choose to interrupt their pregnancies after poor prenatal diagnosis and for ...
www.cardiogenetics.org
 
Google Directory - Health > Mental Health > Grief, Loss and ...
Resource to find consolation, emotional support, encouragement, stress management, balance, and serenity to help those experiencing grief, loss, ...
www.google.com
 
Grief, Loss and Bereavement Resources
Links, information and resources for the loss of children and parents, death and dying, support groups, healing center.
www.soberrecovery.com
 
 

 

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