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Forgiveness
In a world full of vengence and spite, how can we forgive? This is a nation big on vengeance. We lock people up for life, we execute criminals, we bomb whole countries to get even for the sins of a few. We seem to have forgotten how to...

He Loved Me To Death! Invisible Scars Left Undone!
Many times we classify the severity of abuse by the amount of black eyes or broken bones that we can see, often overlooking the massive, long lasting effects of Domestic Violence, the damage that is not evident to the naked eye yet reaches to the...

Keeping it Simple this Season
It's back. The holiday season and all the challenges that come with it! This is the time when we are most tempted to overdo things - shopping, partying, spending. This year…why not practice the art of simplicity and serenity? Begin a new...

Parenting - The Irrational Vocation
There are some grounds to assume that a cognitive dissonance is involved in feeling that children are more a satisfaction than a nuisance. Why do people bother with parenting? It is time consuming, exhausting, strains otherwise pleasurable...

The Prophecy of Suffering
Please visit the link to adopt a troop and pray for him or her daily. I have adopted my troop and he is in the army. Do visit the link: http://www.presidentialprayerteam.org/adoptatroop.php Think on this thought first: If you only had two (2)...

 
Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a cat, for God's
sake!'

I'll never forget the wracking sobs of the girl sitting
before me, and the disbelief on the face of the mother who
uttered these words.

I was a Guidance Counsellor in a city high school, and the
girl's performance had slumped in recent weeks. Her mother
couldn't believe it might possibly be related to the loss of
the girl's pet cat.

It became obvious that there wasn't much of a bond between
mother and daughter. So over the years the girl's need to
receive and GIVE affection had been transferred to her cat.
Now that the cat had passed on, the girl was devastated.

What made matters worse was her mother's total lack of
insight.

Studies carried out by veterinary associations in the UK
suggest that most kids will have a pet of some kind at some
time: cats, dogs, mice, hamsters - whatever! - and it's
probably the same in other countries.

Since kids' pets are so common, it's well for parents to
be aware of the impact they can have on their children's lives.

Psychologists talk of the 'human - companion animal bond',
which can be as strong as any human-to-human bond. Or
even stronger, as in the case of the girl above.

So when the loss, illness or death of a pet occurs, the impact
can be just as devastating.

Many families (parents as well as kids) will be familiar
with the grief and devastation brought on by the death of a
faithful dog.

But some parents think that the death of a mouse or fish is
no big deal. It's a tiny animal, so no great loss!

They fail to realise that the attachment or BOND between
child and animal is not measured by the animal's size! It's
the level of emotional investment that counts.

In fact we now know that the reaction to a pet's death can
go through exactly the same process as that of the loss of a
loved one.
  • Denial (No, he'll be okay. He can't have
    died!)

  • Bargaining (If I get him back I'll look after him
    properly this time!)

  • Anger (It's the vet's fault. OR I should have


    /> done this
    or that!)

  • Grief (There's a void in my life now!)

  • Moving On (He'll always be in my heart, but I'm
    coping now)
How can we help our kids cope with this complex process?

Obviously, the first thing is to recognise the impact of the
loss, and we can learn from the example of the mother above.

It also goes without saying that we must encourage our kids
to express their grief and explore their feelings.

And we must also recognise the value of a 'rite of passage'.
This is a ceremony, simple or otherwise, whereby the
participants realise they have moved from one situation or
status to another.

Following the death of a pet, this can be a burial or a
memorial ceremony. As parents we MUST attend - it's not some
simple game the kids are playing in the backyard!

It's a deeply emotional, psychological coming to terms with
a potentially devastating loss.

Encourage the kids, then, to treat it seriously. Let them
pick or buy flowers. Let them draw pictures, write poems
and/or sing songs. Let them say prayers of gratitude for the
companionship they enjoyed. Let them express their grief!

Then, at all costs, avoid the temptation to supply a
'replacement' pet. Kids must have time to EXPERIENCE the
void, so that they can come to terms with it and in due time
move on.

At that point 'another' pet (not a 'replacement') can be
considered.

Experiencing both the joys and loss of a pet can be a sound
emotional training for the unpredictability of life.

By treating this aspect of their childhood seriously and
sensitively we can do our kids an immense favour.

Happy parenting! Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html

 

Center For Grief, Loss and Transition, St. Paul, Minneapolis ...
The Center for Grief is a St. Paul, Minnesota provider of specialized therapy and education in the areas of complicated grief, trauma, and life transition.
www.griefloss.org
 
Grief Loss & Recovery | Poems, Articles & Personal Stories - Home
Grief poems, articles and personal stories about grief, loss, recovery, bereavement, death, dying, funerals, spirituality, suicide, depression, ...
grieflossrecovery.com
 
Grief Loss & Recovery: Articles
Grief poems, articles & memoirs about grief, loss, recovery, bereavement, death, dying, funerals, spirituality, suicide, depression, afterlife & God.
www.grieflossrecovery.com
 
Grief, Loss and Bereavement
Pregnancy loss, Dealing with the death of an adolescent peer.
www.ncpamd.com
 
Coping With Death, Grief, and Loss Handout
Coping with Death, Grief, and Loss. What is Grief? Grief occurs in response to the loss of someone or something. The loss may involve a loved one, a job, ...
www.uiowa.edu
 
Dr. Phil.com - Advice - Health - Grief/Loss
Mind and Body · Grief/Loss · Pregnancy · Life Strategies · Money · Parenting · Relationships/Sex · Self Matters · Weight ...
www.drphil.com
 
Open Directory - Health: Mental Health: Grief, Loss and Bereavement
Bereavement Poems and Articles - Poems and Articles connected with grief, loss and bereavement. Includes links and an online memorial tribute. ...
dmoz.org
 
Grief and Loss, Funeral Arrangements, End of Life - AARP
Offering articles, discussions, resources and tools for coping with grief and the loss of a loved one.
www.aarp.org
 
Self-Improvement - Grief-Loss Ezine Articles
EzineArticles.com allows ezine or email list publishers to upload or download free expert content that can be used within email newsletters or websites.
ezinearticles.com
 
GriefLoss.com | Grief Loss | Grief Digest | Grief Journal | Randy ...
GRIEF LOSS Web Sites - Sponsored Listings. Associated Sites · Grief Counseling Tools · Grief Recovery Skills Help Others, Help Yourself ...
www.griefloss.com
 
Grief Loss and Bereavement
We shuffle into a break room and he. 1 2 3 Next >> · RSS Feed: Grief Loss and Bereavement Feed. © Copyright 2000-2006 eNotalone.com Inc. All rights reserved.
www.enotalone.com
 
Living Beyond Loss -- Surviving Grief, Loss and the Death of ...
Site focusing on surviving the grief and loss associated with the death of a child. Features online journal entries and essays.
adrr.com
 
Grief and Loss Resource Centre
Deals with the many aspects of grief. From making funeral arrangements to online memorials.
www.rockies.net
 
Hillsborough: Grief, loss felt at teen's old school
... 15-year-old arrested after car chase, crash · Grief, loss felt at teen's old school · Newborn's family shaken ... Grief, loss felt at teen's old school ...
www.sptimes.com
 
each
This page contains info about grief, stages of grief loss, stages of grieving, ten stages of grief, unresolved grief, words to comfort someone grieving ...
www.each.org.uk
 
Nicky's EB Info World ~ Welcome to the World of Epidermolysis Bullosa
EB Awareness Bracelets - Advertise on this site - Link to Us - Free Internet Access - Book Store (inspirational/helpful) - Book Store (grief/loss) ...
www.ebinfoworld.com
 
Grief, Loss, Shame & Guilt - Birth, Birthmother, Child, Grief ...
Birthmothers: Grief, Loss, Shame & Guilt. Acknowledging grief over the loss of a child through adoption, and dealing with feelings of shame and guilt are ...
birthfamily.adoption.com
 
Grief - Loss
Grief /Loss:. A Heartbreaking Choice A website for those parents who choose to interrupt their pregnancies after poor prenatal diagnosis and for ...
www.cardiogenetics.org
 
Google Directory - Health > Mental Health > Grief, Loss and ...
Resource to find consolation, emotional support, encouragement, stress management, balance, and serenity to help those experiencing grief, loss, ...
www.google.com
 
Grief, Loss and Bereavement Resources
Links, information and resources for the loss of children and parents, death and dying, support groups, healing center.
www.soberrecovery.com
 
 

 

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