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A Moving Experience
I’ve found a cool apartment! Okay, okay…so it’s not perfect. Just a few bugs. I mean literally! First expense? An exterminator! Is it worth the cash? Well, I can’t afford a more expensive place, so a one-time (please!) cash outlay should be okay....
Birthparent Loss and Grief
Birth Parent Loss and Grief
by Patricia E. Roles
In the last decade, there has been a growing acceptance that a
loss occurs for birth parents when adoption takes place. In the
past, the emphasis in the adoption process...
Deeper Down Deeper in Debt - Funerals
The last goodbye at a funeral leaves you reminiscing about the good times, also leaving a trail of fond memories of the dearly departed. But after a funeral you find that it can also leave a huge debt hanging over your head.
The cost to bury a...
Seeking Forgiveness: Please forgive me
The phrase I'm sorry has truly lost its meaning. Fewer people are taking responsibility for their actions. When someone says they are sorry what they really mean is that they are sorry they got caught. Be it you cheated on your spouse and you got...
THE RIGHT TO MEND
Whenever you drop a glass or a plate, it shatters into pieces. There they lie, all jagged and in different shapes and sizes. There are even some pieces that are so small that they could never be glued back into place and can only be swept up and...
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Which Came First, Love or Marriage?
I came across an article today: LOVE AND MARRIAGE THE TORAH'S CRITERIA by Rivka Olenick.
It helped me think about my own marriage, and the way that many couples approach the idea of being together before they get married vs. what they think after the wedding. People often believe they know what love is after seeing a limited view of their spouse-to-be.
When they're asked, “why do you guys want to get married?” They say, "I just love the way he [fill in the blank]." or "She and I have so much in common".
But when a real test comes, like always having to pick her socks or dealing with his less than average meals (sic), both parties become greatly disenchanted. After they have the opportunity to discover more about the other person, the "love" fades and resentment moves in.
So what does it take to make it work? Of the happy couples I’ve talked with, most attribute their happiness to the real love that grows after marriage. Often times it’s not a pretty love. Partners may have to get dirty, like gardeners who expect good things to grow after they've done the work and have overcome their selfishness.
This kind of love grows when they lose a loved one but can find comfort from God and each other during their grief. It’s the kind of love that develops when they are in danger of losing their house or job, but can see beyond their circumstances. Or it’s the kind that matures when they’re able to overcome adultery and find forgiveness not only heals, but seals their bond to
one another.
This love is not an overnight love. It doesn’t come quick, and it is a challenge for our microwave society. But these couples keep pressing on, believing that happiness can be achieved. Fortunately, for most persevering couples, it is.
For all those people out there who are engaged or thinking about marriage, my suggestion to you? Find one of these couples who can be trusted. Model them and let them mentor you. If you don’t know someone personally, email couples@marriagementors.org to find out how to get help with your relationship.
Finally, I'd like to leave you with this thought from the article I read:
"...marriages are contracted not as a result of passion and romance, but as a result of good judgment and sound reason. If the couple is well suited, the marriage will result in love and happiness. Marriages based on pre-marital infatuation, however, all too often fail the test of married life."
Keep your faith during the hard times. Keep your head when you want to lose it. And your heart will believe in a love greater than you can imagine.
About the Author
Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor/Publisher of http://www.Married4Good.com (November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in many other publications.
Currently, she's writing a book on marriage, which will be published in 2006. If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://married4good.blogspot.com
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| Grief, Loss, Shame & Guilt - Birth, Birthmother, Child, Grief ... |
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| birthfamily.adoption.com |
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| Grief - Loss |
| Grief /Loss:. A Heartbreaking Choice A website for those parents who choose to interrupt their pregnancies after poor prenatal diagnosis and for ... |
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