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7 Secrets of a Happy Marriage
Do you believe in falling in love? In finding that "special someone" who is your other half, your soulmate? Do you dream of finding the one person in all the world who will understand you, love you and be there for you, no matter what? If so, you're...
Choose To Be Happy...NOW!
The older I get, the more I realize that ninety percent of life is about choices. Both the choice to be happy or unhappy is mine. Sure, unforeseeable circumstances come and rattle our cages from time to time but it’s our decision...
Marking Togetherness: Beyond the Unity Candle
By now, surely everyone's familiar with the unity candle, but did you know there are other unification ceremonies to choose from when planning your wedding? Although the unity candle seems to have been with us forever, in reality it's only about...
Rediscovering Love and Intimacy
Wendy started counseling with me because Terence, her husband of 14 years, had just expressed to her that he wanted to end their relationship. Wendy, terrified of being alone, was panicked. Within a few minutes of speaking with her in a phone...
The Desired Effect of Music On Child: Transform Him or Her Into An Angel!
To get your kids to listen to child music is a powerful way to enhance the time your kids play with toys. Perhaps you are thinking of buying music to enhance your child’s play space. You might be asking: What music should I buy for my child?...
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Mommy & Baby: Styles Of Parenting
As a parent, you have the opportunity to set the tone in your home based on the style of parenting you choose. You can choose child-centered parenting or family-centered parenting--the differences will be discussed here.
Child-centered Parenting
o Intensely pursue the child's happiness, taking great strains to avoid discomfort or emotional stress for the child.
o The child receives what she wants when she wants it: no delay, no waiting.
These concepts might not sound too bad, but what happens when Mom is sick? Or when Mom & Dad want to leave the baby with a sitter? There is little-to-no freedom in this parenting plan--and the baby will not grow in to a child who understands delayed gratification or how the world works. Additionally, this sets a child up for a bad case of "me-ism"--other people will not matter to her. Her goals and needs are paramount to everyone else's goals and needs, and the ability to look outward and understand being part of a team will be compromised.
Family-centered Parenting
o Keeps the baby's needs met, but within the appropriate context of the family unit.
o The child enters in to a team-setting; she is not the center of the universe, but part of the family-team.
These concepts might not seem very different from the child-centered approach to parenting, but the results of the two methods are starkly
different. Parents have the freedom to meet their child's needs and look ahead to developing skills and abilities, as they aren't catering to every fleeting whim or fancy a child might express. Sitters are okay for the family, as the parents will take time out to "date" and be intentional with each other. Because a baby raised in a family-centered plan understands that she is part of a team, she will learn "we-ism," not "me-ism." She will consider others as she grows and how her goals and needs can be met within the framework of a team--without compromising the others on the team.
You may know people on either side of these parenting styles who go overboard. That's not what I'm advocating here; a balance must be achieved. Remember these things:
Life doesn't stop because you have a baby
Date your spouse
Continue those loving gestures you enjoyed before your baby came along
Invite some friends over for food and fellowship
At the end of each day, spend 15 minutes sitting with your spouse, discussing the day's events About the Author
Kirsten Hawkins is a baby and parenting expert specializing new mothers and single parent issues. Visit http://www.babyhelp411.com/ for more information on how to raising healthy, happy children.
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| Happiness (1998) |
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