|
By Now, I'm a Expert at Memory Loss
I sat down to write my weekly humor column, but I just could not remember what I wanted to write about. This seems to be an increasingly more common affliction, ever since I turned 40. For instance, like most people over 40, I often can't remember...
How a Head Cold Got Me Married
Now that I'm really settled down for bad or good, I can't help but reflect on my lengthy past as a happy-go-lucky single. How can I forget the many bizarre, crazy, and benighted times I've misled myself into a man's twin loving arms, and how very...
How to write funny ideas
People are always curious as where do humorists get their wacky
ideas all the time. Once awhile you may hit upon a funny line or
silly joke, but to churn out an endless stream of funny ideas is
no joke(no pun intended).
So, where and how do...
Similarity Breeds Comedy
My last piece I talked about associating or pairing up opposites
to produce funny ideas. Today we associate SIMILARITY or
CONGRUITY; by puting the same or similar objects, person or
animals together to engender laughter.
One fine example is...
Welcome Aboard, Chief Justice Roberts
Hello, Mr. Roberts!
Let me be the first to welcome you to your first full day here at your new job of Chief Justice of the Supreme Court! I know you'll enjoy working here as much as we do. I'm sure you're ready to get started, so let's get...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet
A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Here are just a few ways you might find yourself in need of a welding helmet: 1. You can't find your bike helmet. 2. You lost your Darth Vader mask on the opening day of a Star Wars movie. A welding helmet is a good substitute; however, you will have to mimic the Darth Vader breathing noises yourself. 3. You do not know your science very well but you think it would be cool to make your own fireworks. 4. You are scared of identity theft. 5. You wear a welding helmet in hopes of attracting women, making it clear to them that you are manly and can fix things. 6. You want to reenact the opening credits from The Simpson's and you are playing the part of Homer in the nuclear power plant (in this case, you will also need a glow stick). 7. You think that cartoons are real and there is a possibility of an anvil dropping from the sky. 8. If people who look at you turn into stone then you might want to wear a welding helmet. 9. You want to give your kids a punishment they won't forget and decide to make them wear the welding helmet to school for a week. 10. If you are scared of the sun giving you wrinkles or skin cancer, you could use a welding helmet to protect yourself from the sun's harmful rays. 11. You have horrendously bad breath and/or forgot to put you makeup on. 12. You can't find your sunglasses. 13. You are someone who always wants to be on top of fashion and thinks that welding helmets could be the new thing. 14. You are sick of relatives pinching your cheeks at family
reunions. 15. You are a celebrity and you don't want the paparazzi taking any pictures of you. 16. You are sick of shallow people falling for you because of your looks and want people to like you for your witty humor. Wearing a welding helmet would definitely be a way to see if that special someone likes you because of your personality. 17. You think that the end of the world is near and somehow a welding helmet will save you. 18. You want people to think that you are weird, have learning problems, or that you are half man and half machine. 19. You want to do your own rendition of Phantom of the Opera called Phantom of the Tool Shed. 20. You think that your partner in your science lab class secretly wants to destroy you. 21. You had an extremely bad haircut. 22. You think you are like Cyclops from X-Men and you have uncontrollable optic blasts from your eyes. 23. You want to scare little children. (Carrying a blow torch and laughing will also help you in this goal). 24. You don't ever want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. 25. And I guess you might possibly want a welding helmet if you think you will possibly be welding something anytime soon. These are just a few of the reasons that it is probably a good idea for you to wear a welding helmet. After you get your own welding helmet, I am sure that you will find this list to be very limited and you will find thousands of other uses for it.
About the Author
Kaitlin Carruth is a client account specialist with 10x Marketing - More Visitors. More Buyers. More Revenue. For more information about welding helmets, please visit Tool America.
|
|
|
|
|
Humor in the Yahoo! Directory |
Find sites dedicated to all things funny, including jokes, comedy, quotes, and also humorous sites relating to animals, entertainment, and the bizarre. |
dir.yahoo.com |
  |
College Humor |
Everything that's funny on the Internet is right here. Funny pictures, funny videos, and lots of boobies. |
www.collegehumor.com |
  |
Open Directory - Recreation: Humor |
Arts: Comics (5279); Arts: Illustration: Cartoons (135); Arts: Performing Arts: Comedy (1506); News: Analysis and Opinion: Columnists: Humor (192) ... |
dmoz.org |
  |
Humour - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
This article discusses humour in terms of comedy and laughter. ... Mintz, Lawrence E. Humor in America: A Research Guide to Genres and Topics. ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
  |
Humor Posters at AllPosters.com |
Humor Posters at AllPosters.com. Choose from over 300000 posters and prints. Professional custom framing available. |
www.allposters.com |
  |
Humor: See what people are saying right now on Technorati |
See all blog posts tagged with humor on Technorati. |
www.technorati.com |
  |
Political Humor - Jokes Satire and Political Cartoons |
The Web's leading source for political humor, providing a witty and irreverent look at bizarre antics inside, outside and below the Beltway. |
politicalhumor.about.com |
  |
Psychology Humor |
What's the surest sign that a subject isn't really a science? They're the ones whose proponents spend the most time trying to insist that their field is a ... |
www.psych.upenn.edu |
  |
Pages tagged with "humor" on del.icio.us |
All items tagged humor ??? view popular ... Reason Magazine - All I Think Is That It's Stupid · save this. by karindalziel to humor ... 54 mins ago ... |
del.icio.us |
  |
About Humor - Comedy - Jokes - Cartoons - New Funny Sites - Humor ... |
New sick jokes every weekday plus new links each week to the best in humor and sickness on the Net. From About.com. |
humor.about.com |
  |
Funny and Humorous T-Shirts and Gifts at CafePress.com : Shop Over ... |
Funny T-shirts and Gifts. Humor Gifts. Share a laugh with funny t-shirts, stickers and more! See all results... Categories within Funny T-shirts and Gifts ... |
www.cafepress.com |
  |
Húmor.is |
Flokkur. Allt, bílar, Blabla, blog, boltinn, haha, Íslenskt, leikir, Minn Sirkus, myndir, video, webcam, wtf. Sýna +18 tengla Já/Nei ... |
www.humor.is |
  |
Extreme Funny Humor |
But, if we say you can learn to become extremely funny spontaneously in just 7 days? Check out the one and only course to develop your humor sense to beyond ... |
www.extremefunnyhumor.com |
  |
Rec.humor.funny jokes and comedy |
Includes jokes posted to the newsgroup and updates 2-3 times a day. |
www.netfunny.com |
  |
Philosophical humor |
Philosophical humor. Compiled by David Chalmers. Some bits and pieces I've come across. Additions are always welcome. Lists and litanies ... |
consc.net |
  |
SpikedHumor.com » Welcome to Spiked Entertainment ( Movies - Flash ... |
Spikedhumor.com provides the best internet viral enterainment and comedy. |
www.spikedhumor.com |
  |
Humour Links Comedy Sites Directory |
Large searchable database of humor sites split into appropriate categories, and rated by users. Also features tools for webmasters to integrate the ... |
www.humorlinks.com |
  |
The Humor Archives - funny jokes, pictures, cartoons and movies |
humor rss feed · Add to Google · Add to My Yahoo! Add to Bloglines · Add to Netvibes · Add to My AOL. Virtual Categories. Geeks · George W. Bush · Money ... |
www.thehumorarchives.com |
  |
Joe Monster.org - Probably The Best Page In The Universe |
Humor ekskluzywny. Fotki filmiki * flashe * gierki * dowcipy * forum. Material czesto prowokacyjny. Politycznie niepoprawny. Pozostawia trwale slady w ... |
joemonster.org |
  |
HumorON.com - You never want it to turn it off anymore! |
Welcome to this humoron dot com website we provide you the most funniest, shocking & most amazing videos each day! so turn you let us turn your humor back ... |
www.humoron.com |
  |