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By Now, I'm a Expert at Memory Loss
I sat down to write my weekly humor column, but I just could not remember what I wanted to write about. This seems to be an increasingly more common affliction, ever since I turned 40. For instance, like most people over 40, I often can't remember...

Floorspace
Floorspace By Dan Reinhold Odd how frightening the unknown can be. The other day, I encountered something so rare and unusual, it was like a dream. The last unexplored and little understood frontier. Floorspace. With two boys in the house,...

Hollywood Humor: Cary Grant's Muffins
In 1853 in Saratoga Springs, New York, American Indian Chef George Crum was preparing his specialty French fried potatoes in the upscale resort he was working at, when he received word that one of the patrons complained they were cut too thick. An...

Looking for Harvey Weinstein
Two British women spill the beans on how to make it in Hollywood. Brash, ballsy and full of energy. A totem of two women’s struggle to do something worthwhile in life, it certainly knows how to serve up endless comical observations....

Share a Smile
(a clean, heart warming, and humorous email list group) ___________________________________________ To every thing there is a season ... and a time to laugh ... Ec. 3:1-4 ___________________________________________ 'Share a Smile' is a free...

 
Very Precise Fortune Cookies

I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been written by a weather forecaster.

"You will be approached in the late afternoon by a pink polka-dot octopus..."

It continued on the other side: "... and asked to provide details of your application for a yellow cloud mulching permit."

Two things struck me about this particular fortune. The first is that they have come a long way in their ability to predict exactly what will happen and when, just like weather forecasters. This is undoubtedly due to recent technological developments. Laser technology, for example. Nano technology. Robotics. Bioengineering. And so many other specialized fields have been developed to points of precision unimagined just a generation ago.

And it's not just the weather forecasters.

In London, Ontario, specialists are performing microscopic cardiac surgery on patients miles away using a robot named CSTAR (Can't you just wait for new parents to start naming their children after the famous surgeon, CSTAR?). This has opened up the door to many benefits, such as sending robots to remote locations without having to worry about a surgeon replacing the wrong organs due to jet lag.

But the real benefit was revealed when one surgeon confided in me: "You know the world is a better place when we don't have to scrub our hands before surgery anymore."

I can call anybody in North America on the telephone and they will answer in real time. Not only is this a better response than I can give people face-to-face, but the telephone cables direct my call to the exact person I want, saving the other 400 million telephone subscribers the inconvenience of having to say, "Wrong number...again!" Just a few decades ago, Switchboard Suzie was manually connecting everybody.

"Janice Land? No problem. I'll connect you." CLICK.

"No, wait. I wanted to speak to Janet Lam. Hello?"

My father can pinpoint the exact amount of blood sugar he packs in his veins. Not very long ago, people could not care less how much sugar was in their blood, as long as they had plenty of it


in their double-fudge sundaes.

Yes technology has come a long way, allowing us to send and received very specific information in great detail and in great volumes, allowing such thrilling 21st century innovations as spam (I know, I know, the great spam innovators you admire most did their heroic deeds in the 20th century, but you ain't seen nothing yet!)

Despite the volume of information I receive in my inbox, there is one very disturbing element to all this extra free information, which brings me back to the second thing that struck me about my fortune cookie message.

It was wrong.

I waited all day for that pink polka-dot octopus to approach me, and it never did. Just because modern technology can deliver huge volumes of laser-detailed information, does not make that information valuable or even accurate.

Which brings me back to the revelation that a weather forecaster is now writing fortune cookies. Weather forecasts have become increasingly more precise. For instance, I am told that today it will hail in the town just east of here and be sunny in the town just west of here.

Once upon a time, the forecast would be simply "Sun and hail expected to pass through the region." Less accurate and less wrong. Just as useless, though.

Maybe we should hire CSTAR to make the fortune cookies. Surely CSTAR would deliver fortunes that are not only precise but also accurate, right? As a bonus, the pastry chefs won't have to scrub their hands before baking.

And I wouldn't have to wait for a pink polka-dot octopus all afternoon.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR


David Leonhardt is a humor columnist. Read his self-help book on happiness or more free personal growth articles for reprint. Visit also his liquid vitamins supplements online.

Source: www.isnare.com

 

Humor in the Yahoo! Directory
Find sites dedicated to all things funny, including jokes, comedy, quotes, and also humorous sites relating to animals, entertainment, and the bizarre.
dir.yahoo.com
 
College Humor
Everything that's funny on the Internet is right here. Funny pictures, funny videos, and lots of boobies.
www.collegehumor.com
 
Open Directory - Recreation: Humor
Arts: Comics (5279); Arts: Illustration: Cartoons (135); Arts: Performing Arts: Comedy (1506); News: Analysis and Opinion: Columnists: Humor (192) ...
dmoz.org
 
Humour - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This article discusses humour in terms of comedy and laughter. ... Mintz, Lawrence E. Humor in America: A Research Guide to Genres and Topics. ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
Humor Posters at AllPosters.com
Humor Posters at AllPosters.com. Choose from over 300000 posters and prints. Professional custom framing available.
www.allposters.com
 
Humor: See what people are saying right now on Technorati
See all blog posts tagged with humor on Technorati.
www.technorati.com
 
Political Humor - Jokes Satire and Political Cartoons
The Web's leading source for political humor, providing a witty and irreverent look at bizarre antics inside, outside and below the Beltway.
politicalhumor.about.com
 
Psychology Humor
What's the surest sign that a subject isn't really a science? They're the ones whose proponents spend the most time trying to insist that their field is a ...
www.psych.upenn.edu
 
Pages tagged with "humor" on del.icio.us
All items tagged humor ??? view popular ... Reason Magazine - All I Think Is That It's Stupid · save this. by karindalziel to humor ... 54 mins ago ...
del.icio.us
 
About Humor - Comedy - Jokes - Cartoons - New Funny Sites - Humor ...
New sick jokes every weekday plus new links each week to the best in humor and sickness on the Net. From About.com.
humor.about.com
 
Funny and Humorous T-Shirts and Gifts at CafePress.com : Shop Over ...
Funny T-shirts and Gifts. Humor Gifts. Share a laugh with funny t-shirts, stickers and more! See all results... Categories within Funny T-shirts and Gifts ...
www.cafepress.com
 
Húmor.is
Flokkur. Allt, bílar, Blabla, blog, boltinn, haha, Íslenskt, leikir, Minn Sirkus, myndir, video, webcam, wtf. Sýna +18 tengla Já/Nei ...
www.humor.is
 
Extreme Funny Humor
But, if we say you can learn to become extremely funny spontaneously in just 7 days? Check out the one and only course to develop your humor sense to beyond ...
www.extremefunnyhumor.com
 
Rec.humor.funny jokes and comedy
Includes jokes posted to the newsgroup and updates 2-3 times a day.
www.netfunny.com
 
Philosophical humor
Philosophical humor. Compiled by David Chalmers. Some bits and pieces I've come across. Additions are always welcome. Lists and litanies ...
consc.net
 
SpikedHumor.com » Welcome to Spiked Entertainment ( Movies - Flash ...
Spikedhumor.com provides the best internet viral enterainment and comedy.
www.spikedhumor.com
 
Humour Links Comedy Sites Directory
Large searchable database of humor sites split into appropriate categories, and rated by users. Also features tools for webmasters to integrate the ...
www.humorlinks.com
 
The Humor Archives - funny jokes, pictures, cartoons and movies
humor rss feed · Add to Google · Add to My Yahoo! Add to Bloglines · Add to Netvibes · Add to My AOL. Virtual Categories. Geeks · George W. Bush · Money ...
www.thehumorarchives.com
 
Joe Monster.org - Probably The Best Page In The Universe
Humor ekskluzywny. Fotki filmiki * flashe * gierki * dowcipy * forum. Material czesto prowokacyjny. Politycznie niepoprawny. Pozostawia trwale slady w ...
joemonster.org
 
HumorON.com - You never want it to turn it off anymore!
Welcome to this humoron dot com website we provide you the most funniest, shocking & most amazing videos each day! so turn you let us turn your humor back ...
www.humoron.com
 
 

 

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