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Effective Listening Equals Effective Leadership: Learn How!
Copyright 2005 Marketing Maven
No matter what role you play in your company, becoming a more
effective listener will help you get ahead in your position. It
means fewer errors, improved accuracy, and enhanced working
relationships.
And, listening to your customers and referral sources will
definitely help you in your marketing efforts. You will solicit
better information from other people whether interviewing job
candidates, solving work problems, or working to make a sale.
Contrary to what many people think, being an effective listener
is not a passive activity. It takes concentration, effort, and
active attention. Because our brains work much faster than our
ability to speak, we often jump way ahead of the speaker in our
minds and miss the opportunity to fully understand a person's
feelings, position, and perspective. Environmental distractions
or personal biases can also interfere with our ability to
understand what a person is saying.
When listening, you are giving a gift of your time and attention
to the other person. Work to respond both verbally and
non-verbally to the person who is speaking. This lets the
speaker know that you are listening and that you understand what
he or she is trying to communicate. Here are some ideas to help
you hone your listening skills:
1. Don't Talk. This may seem self-evident. However, many people
listen with impatience. They are just waiting for their chance
to speak, or worse yet they interrupt. Be courteous and give
your listener your full attention. Avoid offering solutions if
the speaker is expressing a problem. Just listen.
2. Listen Fully. A good listener looks interested in what the
speaker is saying. Your body language speaks volumes. Maintain
eye contact, sit still, lean slightly toward the speaker, and
nod your head (but not too vigorously or you'll look like a
chicken!).
3. Ask Clarifying Questions. Wait for the speaker to pause, and
ask clarifying questions. It's a good idea to paraphrase what
the speaker has said and to ask questions such as, "Did you
mean..." or "If I understand correctly, you said..."
4. Provide Feedback. Remain engaged in what the speaker is
saying and show this verbally. He or she will appreciate the
occasional "I see..." or "Really?" or "I know!"
5. Keep Your Mind Open. The point of listening is to gain new
information. Don't just search for a point that supports your
own opinions. Be willing
to gain new insights and learn about
someone else's ideas.
6. Be on the Same Level. Make sure you are at eye level with the
other person. Avoid having an employee or customer stand in
front of your desk. Have comfortable chairs available so that a
desk is not a barrier between you.
7. Respect Your Speaker. If the conversation involves criticism
from either party or contains personal information, go to a
private room for the discussion. Make sure other people can't
listen to your discussion. This will help the speaker feel more
at ease and demonstrate your respect for what he or she has to
say.
8. Pay Attention to Cues. What isn't being said is often as
important than what is being said. Body language speaks volumes.
Watch the speaker's facial expressions, posture, eyes, gestures,
and other nonverbal cues.
9. Avoid Invalidating Language. While you may not agree with
what the speaker is saying, avoid defensive statements or
phrases that argue with his or her points. Later, you can take
time to review what was said and formulate a response. As an
active and effective listener, your role is to allow the person
the time and space to fully express his or her feelings.
10. Express Appreciation. Thank the listener for sharing his or
her thoughts and feelings. It takes courage to speak up. True
sharing builds trust and encourages further dialogue.
It takes time and energy to become a better listener. Be
patient. As you begin to improve your listening skills, you may
be surprised to find people will seek you out to share their
thoughts and feelings. You will also find yourself involved in
fewer conflicts and be perceived as a more positive and
trustworthy person. Attentive listening is a rare skill that
people respect and welcome.
ACTION ITEM: This week, concentrate on your listening skills. Do
you finish sentences for others? Do you interrupt? Do you sneak
looks at your watch? Pay attention to your listening habits and
begin to bring conscious attention to improving these skills.
Work to show others that you hear and understand them.
About the author:
Wendy Maynard, your friendly Marketing Maven, publishes
REMARKABLE MARKETING, a free weekly ezine for entrepreneurs,
business owners, and freelancers. If you're ready to skyrocket
your sales, easily attract customers, and make more money, sign
up for her FREE ezine and marketing report now at
http://www.gomarketingmaven.com
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