|
|
|
A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO A BETTER MARRIAGE
A customer told me of a fellow whose wife told him she was leaving him for another man. The fellow’s response was, “Is there anything I can do?” The wife replied, “Sure, you can give me a couple of weeks to find the right guy?”
I laughed, as...
e-Book on Russian Women (Part 3)
Russian Women in the Workplace Below is a description of the Russian educational system and RW. When reading this it appears that there are many opportunities available to RW. In practice this is not true. Young girls have always been approached...
Infidelity: How "My Marriage Made Me Do It" is a Cop-out
Ask someone why they had, or are having an affair and you may hear something like this: "I have a lousy marriage. My marriage is dead. There is no intimacy, no sex, and no excitement. The love is gone. We've grown apart. I can't stand the marriage....
Signs of Infidelity: My Marriage Made Me Do It
Infidelity has different faces...and different signs and patterns.
Yes, infidelity is complex. You probably know that or perhaps feel the overwhelm and confusion.
Most I work with find tremendous relief, a sense of control, confidence and power...
To Love Forever
Some time ago we were leading a college seminar for sexually sophisticated, exuberant and articulate young couples from a local church when James, one of the husbands, said: Nancy and I have long since learned how to insert Tab A into Slot B, so we...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Budget the Luxuries First!
Budget the Luxuries First!
© Andy White (andy@coudycoffee.com)
Too many couples argue about money. ("But what else is important enough to argue over?" I hear you say!) Well, I've been in more than a few of those arguments myself over the years, and I’m not particularly proud of the fact. Especially as I'm an avid science-fiction buff, and my childhood hero-author Robert A. Heinlein penned
a four word solution to this issue well before I got out of grade school:
BUDGET THE LUXURIES FIRST!
Strictly speaking, his advice was preceded by another maxim as well. "Sovereign ingredient for a happy marriage: Pay cash or do
without. Interest charges not only eat up a household budget; awareness of debt eats up domestic felicity." Today, that advice gets abused eight ways to Sunday, as the average household is currently carrying credit card debt to the tune of over $10,000. Assuming an
interest rate of 18%, this works out to about 150 bucks a month going to the credit card company. That’s money NOT available for things like fresh flowers on your desk... new skis... upgrading to gourmet coffees and wines for daily consumption, or dinner out (including
tips and babysitter).
Luxury item #1: Get out of consumer debt
Being debt-free is an incredible luxury! There are a ton of books and
articles out there already on how to budget and avoid debt, so I won't hold forth on how to do it. The important issue is WHY to do it. And the answer is simple. Peace of mind is the ultimate luxury!
Luxury item #2: Make some time to make a wish list!
While putting the wheels in motion on reducing debt, there's a happier issue to think through as well: What is it you really want out of life? Peace of mind (and of household) starts with asking these Really Big Questions!
More importantly (assuming you actually care about your relationship), what is it your partner craves? If you don't know, well... it can be fun finding out. Too many financial planning
exercises are painful, which is why not enough people do them. This exercise, finding out what really matters to you both, isn't.
What are the things in life that really feel like luxury to you? Now is the time to identify them, and separate out the smaller, less satisfying things you’re paying for that keep you from getting what you really want.
To keep to the spirit of fun, I’ve found it's useful to agree to some simple ground rules:
- Make some unbroken wish list time for the two of you
- There are no such things as 'silly ideas' or 'waste of money' items during the wish list time (that will come later on during a reality-check period)
- No impulse spending during the wish list time! Window shop if you want, share a seat in front of the computer if you’re looking online... my preference is to go hang out in antique markets and bohemian shopping districts for ideas, but you might prefer to go visit a travel agent’s office or web site. It DOESN'T matter!
- Each partner gets equal time to show off their ideas if they want it.
Being realistic, there will, of course, be a price tag associated with the wish list. Also being realistic, not all luxuries cost an arm and a leg, either. If you have the iron will to make a strict budget and do without so that you can go hang out in Tuscany for a month next fall, good for you (and yours!) If you're like me, though, it may make sense to make do with lesser luxuries.
Luxury item #3: Keep looking until you find reasonably-priced luxuries that really make your life more worth living, then revel in them!
That's all it takes. If you get this far, you've done a few extremely healthy things. For starters, you've actually talked to your sweetie about money, without it being a crisis! You've spent some time dreaming together. You've examined your debt and thought about what it's costing you. And with any luck, you've found at least one thing you can enjoy without feeling guilty about what it's
costing you… because it's an investment in your piece of mind.
About the Author
© Andy White, budget guy for Coudy Coffee - because life is too
short for mediocre coffee. For gourmet coffee and espresso; coffee gifts,
information and resources, visit http://www.coudycoffee.com.
|
|
|
|
|
| Marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Marriages are generally publicly declared in the context of a wedding ceremony. ... The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice |
| Provides answers and insight to questions about infidelity, marriage counseling, and divorce. A free support forum is also available. |
| www.marriagebuilders.com |
|
| Christian Marriages - Families Christianity Free Newsletters Sex ... |
| A biweekly newsletter, published by Christianity Today, that provides information and articles of interest for couples. |
| www.christianitytoday.com |
|
| Marriage -- THE starting place for exploring marriage |
| Useful links, and weekly feature articles on making your marriage the best it can be. Chat room and bulletin board also onsite. From About.com. |
| marriage.about.com |
|
| Marriage - Wex |
| Today the underlying concept that marriage is a legal contract still remains ... Entering into a marriage changes the legal status of both parties and gives ... |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
|
| Smart Marriages |
| Clearinghouse: The latest EASY-TO-USE information to make your marriage or realtionship successful, sexy, and satisfying. |
| www.smartmarriages.com |
|
| University of the Family - Marriage Ministries International |
| Marriage is the foundation of the family. When the relationship is hurting, the family is hurting. Couples seek counseling and counseling and are often ... |
| www.marriage.org |
|
| USC-MSA Compendium of Muslim Texts |
| Marriage in Islam has aspects of both 'ibadah (worship) of Allah and mu'amalah ... The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion ... |
| www.usc.edu |
|
| Marriage Records - First Comes Love - Portland, Oregon |
| Tonight (Wed Nov 29) Marriage’s own old intern Cole Miller and Glacier Park’s Jessie Slavich are playing at Valentine’s (232 SW Ankeny) downtown at 8pm. ... |
| www.marriagerecs.com |
|
| National Marriage Project Home Page |
| Research, education, training and advocacy to strengthen the institution of marriage. |
| marriage.rutgers.edu |
|
| UKBMD - Births, Marriages, Deaths Indexes & Census transcriptions ... |
| UK BMD Births, Marriages and Deaths Indexes Online. Baptims, Burials, Monumental Inscriptions, Cemetry, Cemetries, Civil Registration, GRO Indexes, BMD, ... |
| www.ukbmd.org.uk |
|
| Welcome to Worldwide Marriage Encounter Home Page |
| Marriage Encounter weekends give married couples the tools to make Good marriages GREAT marriages! Why settle for a ho-hum relationship when you can have a ... |
| www.wwme.org |
|
| Alternatives to Marriage Project |
| Provides support and information to people who choose not to marry, are unable to marry, or are making decisions about marriage. |
| www.unmarried.org |
|
| Marriage Equality USA (index.shtml) |
| Group solely committed to securing the right to civil marriage for same-sex couples. Related facts, membership information, and chapters. |
| www.marriageequality.org |
|
| President Calls for Constitutional Amendment Protecting Marriage |
| President Bush on Tuesday said, "The amendment should fully protect marriage, while leaving the state legislatures free to make their own choices in ... |
| www.whitehouse.gov |
|
| Marriage in Ancient Rome |
| Selected information plus a bibliography and internet links. |
| www.fortunecity.com |
|
| Instructions to Obtain a Marriage Certificate Copy |
| This page provides instructions for obtaining a certified or uncertified copy of a Wisconsin marriage certificate. |
| www.dhfs.state.wi.us |
|
| Judaism 101: Marriage |
| Learn about the Jewish concept of finding your soul mate, Jewish weddings, the process of acquiring a spouse, and the marital relationship. |
| www.jewfaq.org |
|
| the marriage toolbox |
| www.marriagetools.com/ - Similar pages |
|
|
| American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy |
| Professionally developed resources for practitioners and consumers of marriage and family therapy. Site also offers a search engine for finding a qualified ... |
| www.aamft.org |
|
|