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JOY
Psalm 30.5 "For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning: She arrived late. She was supposed to be born before Christmas but she didn't want to leave the warmth and...
Multi Gemstone Rings, Why Wear Rings With Many Gemstones
Look around and you will find that gold rings or silver rings with many colored gemstones are very popular. The eariliest jewelry designs for rings with multiple gemstones were mainly an effort to combine sparkling diamonds with larger sized...
Signs Of Infidelity: My Marriage Made Me Do It
Infidelity has different faces...and different signs and patterns.
Yes, infidelity is complex. You probably know that or perhaps feel the overwhelm and confusion.
Most I work with find tremendous relief, a sense of control, confidence and...
Wedding Destination Tips From Two Gurus
Today Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel.com & Bookpleasures.com is pleased to have as a guest, Denise and Alan Fields, authors of BRIDAL BARGAINS and the BRIDAL PASSPORT WEDDING PLANNER. Both are in bookstores nationwide or you can order...
Where do you Cast?
“Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7.
I don’t know if you have ever been fly-fishing or maybe you have seen it on TV. When you go fly fishing you cast your bait way down the river and let it float. That way the...
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Budget the Luxuries First!
Budget the Luxuries First!
© Andy White (andy@coudycoffee.com)
Too many couples argue about money. ("But what else is important enough to argue over?" I hear you say!) Well, I've been in more than a few of those arguments myself over the years, and I’m not particularly proud of the fact. Especially as I'm an avid science-fiction buff, and my childhood hero-author Robert A. Heinlein penned
a four word solution to this issue well before I got out of grade school:
BUDGET THE LUXURIES FIRST!
Strictly speaking, his advice was preceded by another maxim as well. "Sovereign ingredient for a happy marriage: Pay cash or do
without. Interest charges not only eat up a household budget; awareness of debt eats up domestic felicity." Today, that advice gets abused eight ways to Sunday, as the average household is currently carrying credit card debt to the tune of over $10,000. Assuming an
interest rate of 18%, this works out to about 150 bucks a month going to the credit card company. That’s money NOT available for things like fresh flowers on your desk... new skis... upgrading to gourmet coffees and wines for daily consumption, or dinner out (including
tips and babysitter).
Luxury item #1: Get out of consumer debt
Being debt-free is an incredible luxury! There are a ton of books and
articles out there already on how to budget and avoid debt, so I won't hold forth on how to do it. The important issue is WHY to do it. And the answer is simple. Peace of mind is the ultimate luxury!
Luxury item #2: Make some time to make a wish list!
While putting the wheels in motion on reducing debt, there's a happier issue to think through as well: What is it you really want out of life? Peace of mind (and of household) starts with asking these Really Big Questions!
More importantly (assuming you actually care about your relationship), what is it your partner craves? If you don't know, well... it can be fun finding out. Too many financial planning
exercises are painful, which is why not enough people do them. This exercise, finding out what really matters to you both, isn't.
What are the things in life that really feel like luxury to you? Now is the time to identify them, and separate out the smaller, less satisfying things you’re paying for that keep you from getting what you really want.
To keep to the spirit of fun, I’ve found it's useful to agree to some simple ground rules:
- Make some unbroken wish list time for the two of you
- There are no such things as 'silly ideas' or 'waste of money' items during the wish list time (that will come later on during a reality-check period)
- No impulse spending during the wish list time! Window shop if you want, share a seat in front of the computer if you’re looking online... my preference is to go hang out in antique markets and bohemian shopping districts for ideas, but you might prefer to go visit a travel agent’s office or web site. It DOESN'T matter!
- Each partner gets equal time to show off their ideas if they want it.
Being realistic, there will, of course, be a price tag associated with the wish list. Also being realistic, not all luxuries cost an arm and a leg, either. If you have the iron will to make a strict budget and do without so that you can go hang out in Tuscany for a month next fall, good for you (and yours!) If you're like me, though, it may make sense to make do with lesser luxuries.
Luxury item #3: Keep looking until you find reasonably-priced luxuries that really make your life more worth living, then revel in them!
That's all it takes. If you get this far, you've done a few extremely healthy things. For starters, you've actually talked to your sweetie about money, without it being a crisis! You've spent some time dreaming together. You've examined your debt and thought about what it's costing you. And with any luck, you've found at least one thing you can enjoy without feeling guilty about what it's
costing you… because it's an investment in your piece of mind.
About the Author
© Andy White, budget guy for Coudy Coffee - because life is too
short for mediocre coffee. For gourmet coffee and espresso; coffee gifts,
information and resources, visit http://www.coudycoffee.com.
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| Marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
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| Marriage - Wex |
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| University of the Family - Marriage Ministries International |
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| USC-MSA Compendium of Muslim Texts |
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| Marriage Equality USA (index.shtml) |
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| American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy |
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