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Be a Good Role Model
Be a Good Role Model. “Do as I say, not as I do” is a common joke among parents, but during the separation period, your children need a strong leader. You know you must lead by example. You can’t tell your kids to do one thing and then do another,...

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There are so many dating sites out there, hundreds if not thousands, how do you even begin to decide where to register and start your online dating experience? You could just pick one at random, create a profile, and sit back and wait for the...

Is Conflict Healthy In Marriage?
Today my three-year-old daughter told my husband that she wants to be married. When he asked her why, she replied, "Because you get to be nice to one another". Are you nice to your partner? Or do you find yourself involved in heated competition,...

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The tradition of hosting a bridal shower for the bride to be grew out of a desire of the friends and family of the bride to get to know each other better, strengthen the bonds between new friends and offer moral support and assistance with...

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Background There are many different kinds of marriage agencies offering services in the market. By understanding the workings of each agency, customers will be in a better position to understand the options available to them. In segmenting the...

 
Discovering Infidelity - One Woman’s Story


The day I discovered my husband was cheating on me is forever etched in my mind. I will never forget my bewilderment, shock, confusion and my uncertainty about what to do next. I was totally devastated.

How I Found Out

As a freelance journalist and editor, I work from my home office. I accidentally stumbled onto Frank’s infidelity while doing interviews for an article assignment for a women’s magazine. To insure the accuracy of my notes, I always tape my interviews using a recording device attached to my office phone. While transcribing the interview tapes, I was shocked to find that I’d unknowingly recorded a number of incriminating phone calls made by Frank from our bedroom extension. Interspersed between the interviews, were revealing conversations he’d had with or about the women with whom he was involved.

A Perfect Marriage

That Frank might be cheating on me was the farthest thing from my mind, even though his behavior had been a little unusual the past few months. When infidelity did cross my mind, it was just a fleeting thought -- one I dismissed as quickly as it occurred. It was so far-fetched that I didn’t even give it serious consideration. Frank and I had an exceptionally good marriage (or so I thought). People who knew us -- even strangers, (male and female) often commented on what a “perfect couple” we were. I wrote relationship articles which appeared regularly in women’s magazines and earned me frequent guest spots on Good Day New York and several nationally syndicated radio talk shows. Our marriage (my second and Frank’s third) was the envy of all our friends. Still, I was at a loss to explain some of the odd little things Frank had recently said and done. Nothing major -- just small insignificant things that were out of character for him and didn’t seem to make any sense. I chalked it up to male menopause (Frank was nearing 50) or stress from the heavy overtime he’d been working. Little did I know that these seemingly inconsequential things would turnout to be telltale signs.

Right Under My Very Nose

From the conversations on the tapes, I discovered that Frank had not one, but three lovers. I was dumb-founded to hear him boasting to a friend about his weekend morning “quickies” with Alexis, his early departures from work for afternoon trysts with Michelle, Marlene’s weekend stay at our apartment while I was away on a business trip and more. Even more astounding, was that all these things had taken place right under my very nose. In light of my discovery, I now saw Frank’s behavior through different eyes. And I became keenly aware of how many telltale signs I’d missed. Many of the odd things Frank said and did suddenly began to make sense.

Wendy’s Story- Another Infidelity Victim

On one tape, Frank mentioned a birthday he’d recently attended which was given by his best friend Max. No other details were supplied except that the party was for Max’s girlfriend. Since Max’s wife, Wendy was a friend of mine, I told her what I heard. Working one single piece of information, Wendy conducted what I consider to be a masterpiece of detective work. In less than 2 weeks, she managed to find out the name of Max’s girlfriend, her phone number and address, where she worked, the address and phone number of her job, and was able to pinpoint approximately how long the affair had been going on. Wendy also found out exactly where and when the birthday party had taken place, how much it cost, the names of several guests who attended, and verified that that Max was indeed the person who arranged and paid for the event. She even confiscated a gift for Max’s lover that he’d hidden in the trunk of his car. Since Wendy and Max co-owned a business, she immediately took steps to protect herself financially by transferring the bulk of their joint funds to a separate account -- much to the surprise (and embarrassment) of Max when he attempted to withdraw funds without her knowledge. Their marriage survived -- largely because instead of sitting back and being a passive victim, Wendy immediately searched for confirming telltale signs. She found them early enough to take positive action and get her marriage back on track.

If Only I’d Recognized the Signs

Discovering that Frank was cheating was truly devastating. Being a naturally trusting person, I was oblivious to most of the telltale signs, despite the fact that they were staring me in the face. I later learned that many telltale signs begin to crop up when a man first starts think seriously about infidelity. For months I agonized over how things might have turned out differently if I’d recognized the signs when they first began to appear. It’s possible that I might have been able to save our marriage if I’d known the significance of those signs. If not, I could have at least saved myself a lot of heartaches and pain by preparing myself mentally and emotionally, and protecting myself legally and financially from a marriage that ultimately ended in divorce. Yet, my marriage was not unique in this respect. It was one of the millions of marriages impacted by extramarital affairs.

9 Years of Research and a Promise

At the time there were less than 5 books available on the subject of infidelity. Desperate for information, I endured the embarrassment of purchasing them at my local bookstore. As I struggled to make sense of what was happening, I began earnestly researching the topic of infidelity so I could find out how to handle the situation. My research led to my writing a series of infidelity articles based on information gleaned from leading marriage and family therapists. Although I gained a wealth of knowledge about and coping with infidelity and recognizing the telltale signs, for me, this knowledge came too late. Frank and I eventually got a divorce. But I promised myself that when I recovered from the trauma of that experience, I would share this information with other women in similar situations.

The Infidelity Statistics are Shocking

It was shocking read the statistics citing how widespread infidelity is. Though they vary from study to study, the most widely accepted figures indicate that between 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives. One study found that 2/3 of the wives (26 to 36 million women) whose husbands were cheating had no idea their husbands were having an affair -- largely because they failed to recognize the telltale signs. Yet the media continues to treat infidelity as a form of entertainment. Movies, novels, soap operas, talk shows, gossip columns and women’s magazines continue to dramatize, trivialize and glamorize extramarital affairs. Few people other than its victims take it seriously.

An Infidelity Book is Born – Gathering More Facts

Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs is the first of a series of information products for women who are victims of infidelity. It’s based on not just my personal experience, but on 9 years of in-depth research on the topic of infidelity. I’ve read thousands of accounts of infidelity, interviewed hundreds of women about their personal experiences and the experiences of women they know, and dozens of cheating men. I’ve read hundreds of articles, studies and transcripts on infidelity and spent countless hours surfing the Net checking out websites, chat rooms, forums, message boards and discussion lists that deal with infidelity and related issues. Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs is the result of all those efforts. It’s the book I wish I’d had when those first telltale signs began to crop up in my marriage. If I’d recognized those signs early on, things might have had a different ending.

A Multitude of Telltale Signs

Is He Cheating on You? is probably the largest


collection of telltaIe signs ever compiled. It documents hundreds of signs of infidelity, including a multitude of little-known telltale signs not listed anywhere else. Despite the subtitle, it actually contains 950 telltale signs. Even after the cover was designed, I continued to add telltale signs until the final version of the manuscript was sent to the printer. And readers continue to e-mail or phone me with telltale signs that were not included in the book. What’s different about Is He Cheating on You? is that it tells women how to spot the warning signs of infidelity without using gadgets, surveillance equipment or private investigators. All of the telltale signs documented in Is He Cheating on You? can easily be found by any woman using only her eyes and ears, her personal knowledge of her husband and the information provided in the book. No special skills or equipment are needed. The signs are conveniently grouped into 21 categories so a woman can easily find the signs that apply to her husband or her marriage. A few of the signs are listed in more than one category so that no one will miss an important telltale sign.

Sharing Information with Other Women

This book, and my website www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com are my way of sharing all the information I gathered about infidelity, with other women in this traumatic situation. It’s unfortunate that any woman would ever need a book like this, but the facts speak for themselves. Millions of acts of infidelity go undetected every day. Unsuspecting women need an easy-to-use, reliable, inexpensive tool to help them find out the truth about what’s going on.

Empowered by Knowledge

Knowledge is power; and I firmly believe every woman should know how to recognize the telltale signs of infidelity. The future of her marriage may well depend on her ability to recognize the telltale signs in time. There’s nothing worse than not knowing-- or being the last to know. But the first step in solving a problem is knowing that the problem exists. If a woman doesn’t know her husband is cheating, there’s little that she can do. If she’s oblivious to the fact that her marriage may be in jeopardy, by the time she finds out what’s happening, it may be too late. She will have had no chance to try to get her marriage back on track, or to prepare herself emotionally or protect herself from the devastation that lies ahead. Rather than being proactive and making conscious decisions about what to do, she’ll become a helpless infidelity victim, swept along with the tide.

A Fighting Chance to Save the Marriage

On the other hand, if a woman recognizes the telltale signs and understands what’s happening, she stands a fighting chance of being able to nip the infidelity in the bud on her own, or seek professional help. More importantly, she can take steps to prepare herself mentally, financially and legally for the possibility that her marriage may come to an end. At least she won’t be taken by surprise, and end up being the “last one to know”.

Who This Book Is For

Is He Cheating on You? is not just for wives who suspect their husbands of cheating. It’s also for:


  • the millions of unsuspecting wives who’ve never even considered that an affair might be going on.

  • women who’ve been cheated on in the past want to make sure it doesn’t happen again,

  • women who are trying to reconcile with a cheating husband and want reassurance that the affair is no longer going on

  • women who think it could NEVER happen to them (no one is immune)

  • women who know their husbands are cheating and want to get solid proof

  • women who want to know ahead of time what to look for, in case it ever happens to them

  • women who in view of the high infidelity statistics want to know where they stand in their current relationship

  • single women who want to avoid entering into or staying in a relationship with a cheater

  • Men who suspect their wives of cheating (many of the signs are universal and apply to both sexes),

  • people with female friends or relatives who are being cheated on and who are in denial

  • people who don’t know how to tell a woman her husband is cheating – give her the book and let her find out for herself


No Marriage is Immune to Infidelity

One of the most surprising things I learned about infidelity is that no marriage is immune. Infidelity knows no boundaries. “Good husbands” can cheat. Infidelity can occur even in happy marriages. It can affect couples of any race, creed, color or economic background. Rich or poor, young or old, newlywed or approaching a fiftieth anniversary – infidelity can happen to anyone – even you. The likelihood is very high that, given the current statistics on infidelity, every woman will experience being a victim of infidelity at some point in her life. So I feel strongly that Is He Cheating on You? is a reference book that belongs on every woman’s bookshelf. This is important information that no woman should be without. The future of her marriage may one day depend on her ability to recognize the telltale signs in time. Armed with this book and her personal knowledge of her husband, she’ll be able to easily spot the warning signs.

The Purpose of This Book

The purpose of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs is not to make women suspicious of their husbands. The purpose is to make women aware of what’s already going on. Statistics prove that infidelity is happening all around us. Just pick up a newspaper or listen to the nightly news. Infidelity touches 80% of all marriages. It is my sincere hope that this book will open the eyes of the millions of women who are unaware that their husbands are having an affair. It was written to make women aware of the many telltale signs that indicate possible infidelity. Every woman deserves to know the truth. It’s my firm belief that if more women knew how to recognize the signs of infidelity, more marriage could be saved. With Is He Cheating on You? every wife now has an affordably priced tool to keep her from being the last to know.

A Final Word

To any woman who suspects her husband of cheating, I implore you - for your peace of mind, for your physical health (think HIV/AIDS and other STDs), for your mental and emotional well-being, and for the future financial well-being of yourself and your children too -- find out if what you suspect is true. Don’t speculate – investigate! Take it from someone who has lived through infidelity – find out before it’s too late. Believe me, in this day and age, you can’t afford to be the last one to know.

*Frank, Marlene, Michelle, Alexis, Max and Wendy are not their real names. For legal reasons, the names have been changed to protect the guilty as well as the innocent.

NOTE: Despite my traumatic experience with Frank, the story does have a happy ending. I’ve been happily re-married for 4 years now, to a wonderful man who also values the sanctity of marriage as highly as I do. (Ironically, he too, was cheated on, with disastrous and traumatic results.)

© 2004 Ruth Houston All rights reserved.

Ruth Houston is the author of “Is He Cheating on You?-829 Telltale Signs.” For more information about the book, cheating husbands or signs of infidelity visit http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com To receive a FREE Infidelity Report which includes 29 Telltale Signs, send an e-mail to CheatingSigns@aol.com with “Infidelity Report” in the subject line.


RuthHouston@att.net


 

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Content Menu
  • 100 ways to connect with your teen

  • 10 crucial and surprising steps to build trust in a relationship

  • 10 steps to success in love and marriage

  • 3 little mistakes that could cost you your marriage

  • 5 things you shouldnt do if hes cheating on you

  • 5 ways to ensure you will have a happy life after divorce

  • 6 common marriage mistakes

  • 7 secrets of a happy marriage

  • adultery as sexual addiction should you stay married

  • aladdin wedding chapel of las vegas marriage mediterranean style

  • all about love

  • american women really dont like you

  • are your children growing up too fast

  • are you making time for your marriage

  • are you truly thankful for everything

  • author interview mommy come home

  • a call for international marriage laws

  • a lasting marriage some useful tips

  • a look at christian dating services

  • a look at jewish dating traditions

  • a look at men women and marriage can it work

  • a new school year

  • a practical guide to a better marriage

  • a promise ring more than just a pre engagement ring

  • a womans job no woman wants

  • better aging

  • beyond the arch of swords making military marriage last

  • be a good role model

  • be thankful for a faithful husband

  • birthstones and their meanings

  • breaking the cycle of emotional blackmail

  • bringing debts into a marriage

  • budget the luxuries first

  • building hedges around your marriage

  • business partners and marital partners will the marriage survive part i

  • business partners and marital partners will the marriage survive part ii

  • business partners marital partners will the marriage survive part i

  • business partners marital partners will the marriage survive part ii

  • can this relationship be helped

  • cat associations and cat lovers of world

  • cat lovers and cat associations around the world

  • cheating spouse is spying an invasion of privacy

  • childrens discipline how to resolve divorce parenting differences

  • children and remarriage

  • children are people not machines

  • chinese marriage

  • choosing an international marriage agency mail order bride service

  • choosing the right music for your wedding

  • christian marriage today

  • christmas gifts can be a cheating husbands undoing

  • comparison of medieval and renaissance marriage customs

  • confessions of a retread wife

  • considering success in marriage

  • contested and uncontested divorce

  • creating a family tree

  • creating a prenuptial agreement

  • creating false expectations for clients

  • daisies a story about life

  • dating after divorce things to think about regarding dating after divorce

  • dating women from russia important tips the marriage agencies never tell you

  • dating your spouse planning an evening on the town no kids

  • deciding on divorce how to know you are making the right choice

  • decorating a sexy bedroom

  • diaper bags for dads papas got a brand new bag

  • direct tv satellite saving marriages saving programs

  • discovering infidelity one womans story

  • discover the shocking truth about russian women

  • dish network and directv featuring marriage saving capabilities

  • dish network directv featuring marriage saving capabilities

  • divorce advice getting divorce advice from the right source

  • divorce and children things to consider when youre staying married only for your children

  • divorce articles how to get the most from a divorce article

  • divorce decision things to consider when making a decision about divorce

  • divorce reasons what constitutes a viable reason for thinking about or wanting a divorce

  • does 50 50 chore splitting an equal marriage make

  • does living in a loveless marriage necessarily mean that you should get a divorce

  • does marriage counseling work

  • does your sexless marriage have you thinking about divorce

  • dont ignore the signs how emotional infidelity can ruin your marriage

  • dont let a home business cost you your family

  • dormmates lving with others can be tough

  • do you like her

  • do you make these 3 common mistakes in your marriage

  • elderlife matters for caregivers and employers

  • emotional infidelity a key tactic to save the marriage

  • eva

  • everything i know about relationship success i learned at the playground

  • every mom worries

  • extramarital affairs what everyone needs to know and what you can do to help

  • extramarital affairs when sexual addiction and infidelity meet

  • extramarital affair should you get a divorce just because one of you had an extramarital affair

  • extreme age differences in marriage can lead to infidelity

  • e book on russian women part 1

  • e book on russian women part 10

  • e book on russian women part 2

  • e book on russian women part 3

  • e book on russian women part 4

  • e book on russian women part 5

  • e book on russian women part 6

  • e book on russian women part 7

  • e book on russian women part 8

  • e book on russian women part 9

  • facing the homeschool super mom

  • family law

  • fear of engulfment

  • feng shui tips for the bathroom

  • finances and marriage

  • finding your feng shui power spots for love and romance

  • five effective ways of saving marriage

  • five types of marriages which group are you in

  • forbidden an author interview

  • for men the 2 hidden secrets of the worlds greatest marriage philosophy

  • fun dating ideas to spice up your marriage

  • gay marriage rights

  • gemstone rings history and information

  • getting more from dating romantic relationships and marriage

  • get a prenuptial agreement before your next marriage

  • gifts for men anniversary gifts

  • gift baskets create simple easy gifts for the person who has everything

  • give and take recipe for success in marriage

  • god can heal your marriage

  • great gifts under 5

  • guilt free parenting

  • happy marriage secrets

  • helping your family survive a home makeover

  • help my husbands buddies are butting into my marriage

  • help my preteen teenager is driving me nuts

  • help your marriage survive the rough spots

  • heres help for the i cant say no blues

  • he still hasnt popped the question should you give him an ultimatum

  • hidden divorce costs

  • holy mantrimony

  • home improvement for ladies

  • how a new discovery can make a luke warm marriage hot

  • how clutter affects your love life

  • how i improved my marriage ten fold in one evening

  • how optimism can help or hurt your marriage

  • how the challenge of single parenting affects your decision to divorce

  • how to choose a dating service

  • how to choose a marriage counselor

  • how to choose a pearl necklace for your wedding day

  • how to choose the right marriage counselor

  • how to deal with sibling rivalry

  • how to decide whether to keep your marriage or other relationship going or to end it

  • how to fight cultural differences in marriage and stay happy

  • how to have a successful marriage

  • how to have the perfect christmas

  • how to identify what the question should i get a divorce means to you

  • how to keep love alive in your marriage

  • how to keep your marriage life sexy and thrilled

  • how to make a time capsule

  • how to make a time capsule for your new baby

  • how to plan your wedding and honeymoon

  • how to prepare for marriage

  • how to reviving romance in marriage

  • how to save your marriage

  • how to structure your marriage

  • how we found a marriage counselor

  • hunter and gatherer

  • if i hurt you then im sorry

  • imagine the perfect marriage

  • im no marriage counsellor but i have been a bestman

  • index

  • infidelity advice how gifts can expose your cheating husband

  • infidelity difference between a rage and revenge affair

  • infidelity excuse i fell out of love and just love being in love

  • infidelity how my marriage made me do it is a cop out

  • influence of astrology in indian marriages

  • interactive electronic childrens books

  • interview with author of gods blueprint for a healed restored marriage

  • intimacy in marriage what is it really and how can you have it

  • is conflict healthy in marriage

  • is it a good idea to room with a friend

  • is she cheating many unsuspecting husbands find out too late

  • is this the one

  • is your marriage problem severe enough to warrant getting a divorce

  • is your marriage strong enough for the swinging lifestyle

  • it pays for single christians to date other like minded people

  • joy

  • june weddings

  • k1 visas in russia

  • keeping a marriage happy

  • keeping a marriage romantic

  • keeping love alive

  • labeling is disabling achieving congruent communication

  • lessons about marriage learnt from riding a bike

  • let your wedding flowers speak the language of love

  • life insurance the universe and everything

  • living in love remembering why you married

  • living together without marriage improves mens mental health

  • loveless marriage does living in a loveless marriage necessarily mean that you should get a divorce

  • love and marriage fairy tale

  • love marriage and money

  • love marriage and romance

  • make time for your relationship

  • man shortage again

  • marking togetherness beyond the unity candle

  • marriage

  • marriages may end but families are forever

  • marriage and sexual relation

  • marriage and the election

  • marriage children and divorce when le music stops

  • marriage divorce and kids

  • marriage divorce separation how to handle the split loyalties after separation

  • marriage dreams when fails

  • marriage finances 101

  • marriage in the virgin islands st thomas weddings

  • marriage is a long conversation

  • marriage licenses las vegas style

  • marriage miscommunication root cause of problems

  • marriage missing its spark

  • marriage or divorce check your social security number

  • marriage problem is your marriage problem severe enough to warrant getting a divorce

  • marriage proposals why doing it right will make all the difference

  • marriage saving advice have a soul connection with your spouse even if all seems lost

  • marriage seperation a practical guide

  • marriage what happened to the fairy tale

  • maybe this christmas will be different

  • meeting your russian lady for the first time

  • mindfulness and marriage moving along

  • money and marriage 101

  • moral armors irrational parenting part i

  • more than mom and dad

  • mrs disney

  • multi gemstone rings why wear rings with many gemstones

  • mutants or clones

  • oneness in marriage part 1

  • one mans perspective of love and creating work balance

  • online dating 101 the basics

  • overcome adultery ways to make your marriage whole again

  • planning a special wedding shower

  • prenuptial agreements

  • prenuptial agreements should they be a prerequisite to marriage

  • putting romance back into your marriage

  • raising emotionally intelligent sons

  • real friends

  • reasons for divorce what constitutes viable reasons for thinking about or wanting a divorce

  • reasons you arent starting the decision making process about whether to get a divorce or stay married

  • rediscovering love and intimacy

  • relationships too easy to leave

  • renees mommy is here

  • replacing your lost wedding ring

  • right hand bling rings the ultimate new accessory for the savvy single woman

  • right hand diamond ring

  • romance in marriage begins in the mind

  • rotator

  • royal family trees

  • satellite tv by dish network deals a blow to unhappy marriages

  • saving marriage

  • second marriage wedding dress and etiquette

  • secrets of successful marriage

  • secret of a happy marriage

  • seeing a marriage counselor is not admitting defeat its admitting there is hope

  • semper fidelis

  • seven marriage spice ups

  • seven valentines day tips for spouses in less than perfect marriages

  • sexless marriage does your sexless marriage have you thinking about divorce

  • should you forgive infidelity

  • signs of a respectable russian marriage agency

  • signs of infidelity my marriage made me do it

  • single in a couples world

  • single parenting how the challenge of single parenting affects your decision to divorce

  • single women are hot

  • speak to me of love

  • spice up that lifeless marriage

  • stop divorce should you try to stop your divorce if youre just thinking about getting a divorce

  • straight forward advice on marriage that works

  • struggling with addictions

  • successful dating and marriage 1

  • successful dating and marriage 2

  • successful dating and marriage 3

  • surviving divorce what to think about to ensure surviving divorce

  • take back your time day is coming

  • taking an interest in your marriage

  • taking the true relationship test

  • ten financial tips for women

  • ten suggestions for the overscheduled child

  • theres more to wedding invitations than you might think

  • the abcs of marriage

  • the abortion debate

  • the american bride wore red

  • the basics of marriage counseling

  • the bigger the carat the better the wedding

  • the crimes we commit against our marriages

  • the dangers of a me first marriage

  • the essence of infidelity

  • the family cycle i euphoric and dysphoric cycles in marriage

  • the fundamentals of a great marriage

  • the guide to changing your name after marriage

  • the history of valentines day

  • the legal fiction of common law marriage

  • the marriage test

  • the most important things in marriage

  • the new marriage part four of four

  • the new marriage part one of four

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