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Building "Hedges" Around Your Marriage
Building “Hedges” around Your Christian Marriage Author Interview with Nancy C. Anderson, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome By Lisa M. Hendey I typically "blur over" when reading books related to relationships, but Avoiding the Greener Grass...
Does 50-50 Chore-Splitting an Equal Marriage Make?
Not long ago, I was doing the dishes and railing at my husband. I was holding forth on how important it is that we create deep, meaningful lives so that our nine-year-old daughter, Lillian, knows a spiritual way of living is possible and while I’m...
IS IT A GOOD IDEA TO ROOM WITH A FRIEND?
On the subject of moving in with a friend, I really don't have much experience. I still live with my folks. The way I see it, why move out when I have free housing and free food here at home? I'm only 18, so I'm still trying to save money. But if I...
Love, Marriage and Money
The f-word. Finances. Combining love and money may be the biggest stumbling block on the path of true love, creating more rifts in relationships than in-laws, drug and alcohol addiction, or infidelity.
Financial power struggles challenge even...
Ten Financial Tips for Women
On average, women earn 76 cents for every dollar men earn in the workplace. Because women typically spend approximately seven years out of the work force to have and raise children, their earnings are even further curtailed. With lower pay and...
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Is Conflict Healthy In Marriage?
Today my three-year-old daughter told my husband that she wants to be married. When he asked her why, she replied, "Because you get to be nice to one another".
Are you nice to your partner? Or do you find yourself involved in heated competition, endless cycles of discord, and/or tiresome critical thinking?
According to Diane Sollee, founder of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE), "Every happy, successful couple has approximately ten areas of 'incompatibility' or disagreement that they will never resolve." In other words, it's possible to disagree with your spouse and still have a fulfilling relationship. It's all in how you do it.
Because you and your spouse may have ten issues that you will not be able to agree upon at any given time, how will you be able to resolve these conflicts and maintain a happy medium in your household?
First and foremost don't avoid or side step the concerns that each of you have. Conflict in marriage is not an "if", but rather a "when". And according to Sollee, avoidance is one of the key factors determining a couple's separation and divorce. Make sure you voice your opinions, but do it with the understanding that you don't need to change your spouse. Focus, rather, on the way you present yourself in times of conflict.
Secondly, welcome and embrace change. While you have committed to "love until death", you haven't promised to stay the same through the course of your life. Everyone is learning and growing at different paces and in different places. Don't let this growth, change the positive ways you act towards your husband or wife.
Next, understand that even if you were to divorce and
remarry, you would still have to deal with the short comings of your new partner and they would have to deal with yours. You'd just have a new set of disagreements. Nobody's perfect. Realizing this fact and internalizing it, will give you a better grip on how to cope with the irreconcilable differences you have in your current marriage.
Finally, don't let your disagreements contaminate the rest of your relationship. Choose to exhibit positive behaviors towards your spouse. Deciding to become more affectionate or offering encouraging words on a regular basis can go a long way. It will get you through some tough times. Often partners eventually mirror each other's behavior inside and outside of their disagreements.
Don't let conflict put a sour taste in your relationship. If you want to have a healthy and happy marriage, your goal can be to agree with the understanding that disagreeing is a part of life.
For more information about Diane Sollee and the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education visit http://www.smartmarriages.com
About the Author: Keishia Lee-Louis is the Executive Editor of http://www.Married4Good.com (November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in many other publications. Currently, she's writing a book on marriage, which will be published in 2006. If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://married4good.blogspot.com.
Source: www.isnare.com
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| Marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Marriages are generally publicly declared in the context of a wedding ceremony. ... The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice |
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| Christian Marriages - Families Christianity Free Newsletters Sex ... |
| A biweekly newsletter, published by Christianity Today, that provides information and articles of interest for couples. |
| www.christianitytoday.com |
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| Marriage -- THE starting place for exploring marriage |
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| Marriage - Wex |
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| www.law.cornell.edu |
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| Smart Marriages |
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| University of the Family - Marriage Ministries International |
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| www.marriage.org |
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| USC-MSA Compendium of Muslim Texts |
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| National Marriage Project Home Page |
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| Alternatives to Marriage Project |
| Provides support and information to people who choose not to marry, are unable to marry, or are making decisions about marriage. |
| www.unmarried.org |
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| Marriage Equality USA (index.shtml) |
| Group solely committed to securing the right to civil marriage for same-sex couples. Related facts, membership information, and chapters. |
| www.marriageequality.org |
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| President Calls for Constitutional Amendment Protecting Marriage |
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| Marriage in Ancient Rome |
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| Instructions to Obtain a Marriage Certificate Copy |
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| www.dhfs.state.wi.us |
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| Judaism 101: Marriage |
| Learn about the Jewish concept of finding your soul mate, Jewish weddings, the process of acquiring a spouse, and the marital relationship. |
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| the marriage toolbox |
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| American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy |
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| www.aamft.org |
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