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Beyond the Arch of Swords: Making Military Marriage Last
Melissa Wallace of Camp Pendleton, California is a tall, wispy woman, with a soft voice and gentle smile. The wife of 25-years to a Sgt. Maj. in the Marine Corps, Melissa and her husband John talk wistfully about the life that is soon to be behind...
Make Time for Your Relationship
"We don’t have to wait till Valentine's Day to think about relationships, whether we're in one or would like to be. Most people would agree that romance is the key element beneath the relationship pot. Be it a steamy, sizzling wok or a warm,...
The SURGE of the URGE!
Have you ever heard the expression, "The Urge to Merge"?
It is a term relating to sexuality and marriage. The "URGE" symbolizes sexual interest, and the "MERGE" symbolizes marriage union.
We see it all around us!
Late night TV...
This World Is Being Ran by a Penis and Vagina
Just because you might have a penis or a vagina it does not necessarily make you a man or woman. If we look at the elements and the health side of it sure it does. It would be quite logic, that these two parts of the male or female ataman are what...
"Uncontested Divorce; How Thinking About An Uncontested Divorce Figures Into Your Decision About Divorce"
An uncontested divorce is the most common type of divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce that occurs when there are no disagreements between spouses over divorce related issues like custody, finances, living arrangements, spousal support,...
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Oneness in Marriage (Part 1)
People get married for a variety of reasons:
•companionship
•love
•security
•it's the next logical step after college or after launching from one's family of origin
•procreation
•to appropriately satisfy sexual desires
•it is a holy institution designed by God
•others...
There are many other possible reasons...! The one we want to focus on is "oneness." We believe that people get married to experience "oneness" or a "shared reality" with another human being.
When two people get married they have:
•a shared history
•a common language
•a deep sense of companionship
•a sense of security...among other things.
The idea of "oneness" is rooted in Genesis 2:24 --"the two shall become one flesh." The Revel Bible Dictionary (pp. 673-674) explains this phrase..."the two shall become one flesh" in the follow way. It suggests "the close bonding of individuals who love one another as equals and who can relate on every level of the human personality...[It] implies that husband and wife will experience the joys and sorrows of this life ... together."
We assert that "oneness" is achieved when each person:
•Is interested in what is going on in the other's life
•Accepts the other [willingly receives] and intentionally purposes to take the good with the bad
•Tries to understand the other person...to know them thoroughly. It includes factoring in the effects of one's family of origin and the effects of one's life experiences prior to marriage
•Is committed to learning the other person's primary love languages: time, talking, toughing, gifts, or acts of service
•Is interested in the goals, hopes and dreams of the other person and desires to help them achieve these goals
•Is sensitive to the fears and insecurities of the other person
•Willing participates in (to an appropriate extent) the other person's life
"Oneness" is not a foreign concept for a believer in Jesus Christ. We are one with Him when we begin our "born-again" journey with Him. When we ask Him into our "hearts", we become "identified" with Him. This is a type of "oneness".
God designed the marital relationship to project to the world the type of relationship we have with Him. When we fulfill this goal of connecting with our spouses (oneness), we give the world a tangible picture of what our
relationships can look like (with another person and with God). Remember, we (the church) are called "the bride of Christ" in the New Testament.
God's goal is that we experience this "oneness" in marriage. However, "oneness" is not always acheived. Or once it is acheived, it is not always maintained. We hope that the following exercise will be helpful to you. You can consider the questions yourself or perhaps you could discuss these with your spouse.
Exercise:
1. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you accept your spouse? What would it take to improve your current level of acceptance?
2. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you understand your spouse? Is there one area in which you wish your spouse were more understanding of you?
3. Pray each day that God will show you ways to improve your level of acceptance of your spouse. Purpose to better accept the ways that your spouse is unique (different from you).
[Consider writing down your answers in a journal. Then, pray and ask God to help you grow in accepting your spouse. Ask God to give you the "grace" or "divine enablement" to understand your spouse better. Ask God to help you see your spouse with His (God's) eyes and heart. Ask God to solidify the idea that your way of doing things is not the only way to do things. You don't always have to be right or have the last word. Ask God to give you even more love for your spouse along with the courage and willingness to express that love consistently to him/her. Watch and see what the Lord is able to do in you!]
We would love to hear from you about the exercises. Contact us at info@murphytoerner.com
This is a series which will be continued.
If you enjoyed this article and are interested in more articles by this author and other free resources please visit our website www.murphytoerner.com.
Counseling & Coaching Available: Call our offices @ 225.753.7773
About the Author
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Nationally Certified Counselor, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. My goal is to help clients grow mentally, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. In addition to private practice, for the last ten years, I have had the privilege of leading women’s retreats, teaching bible studies, presenting parenting seminars, and pre-marriage/marriage seminars (with my husband, Mike).
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| Marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Marriages are generally publicly declared in the context of a wedding ceremony. ... The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice |
| Provides answers and insight to questions about infidelity, marriage counseling, and divorce. A free support forum is also available. |
| www.marriagebuilders.com |
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| Christian Marriages - Families Christianity Free Newsletters Sex ... |
| A biweekly newsletter, published by Christianity Today, that provides information and articles of interest for couples. |
| www.christianitytoday.com |
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| Marriage -- THE starting place for exploring marriage |
| Useful links, and weekly feature articles on making your marriage the best it can be. Chat room and bulletin board also onsite. From About.com. |
| marriage.about.com |
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| Marriage - Wex |
| Today the underlying concept that marriage is a legal contract still remains ... Entering into a marriage changes the legal status of both parties and gives ... |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
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| Smart Marriages |
| Clearinghouse: The latest EASY-TO-USE information to make your marriage or realtionship successful, sexy, and satisfying. |
| www.smartmarriages.com |
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| University of the Family - Marriage Ministries International |
| Marriage is the foundation of the family. When the relationship is hurting, the family is hurting. Couples seek counseling and counseling and are often ... |
| www.marriage.org |
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| USC-MSA Compendium of Muslim Texts |
| Marriage in Islam has aspects of both 'ibadah (worship) of Allah and mu'amalah ... The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion ... |
| www.usc.edu |
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| Marriage Records - First Comes Love - Portland, Oregon |
| Tonight (Wed Nov 29) Marriage’s own old intern Cole Miller and Glacier Park’s Jessie Slavich are playing at Valentine’s (232 SW Ankeny) downtown at 8pm. ... |
| www.marriagerecs.com |
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| National Marriage Project Home Page |
| Research, education, training and advocacy to strengthen the institution of marriage. |
| marriage.rutgers.edu |
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| UKBMD - Births, Marriages, Deaths Indexes & Census transcriptions ... |
| UK BMD Births, Marriages and Deaths Indexes Online. Baptims, Burials, Monumental Inscriptions, Cemetry, Cemetries, Civil Registration, GRO Indexes, BMD, ... |
| www.ukbmd.org.uk |
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| Welcome to Worldwide Marriage Encounter Home Page |
| Marriage Encounter weekends give married couples the tools to make Good marriages GREAT marriages! Why settle for a ho-hum relationship when you can have a ... |
| www.wwme.org |
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| Alternatives to Marriage Project |
| Provides support and information to people who choose not to marry, are unable to marry, or are making decisions about marriage. |
| www.unmarried.org |
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| Marriage Equality USA (index.shtml) |
| Group solely committed to securing the right to civil marriage for same-sex couples. Related facts, membership information, and chapters. |
| www.marriageequality.org |
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| President Calls for Constitutional Amendment Protecting Marriage |
| President Bush on Tuesday said, "The amendment should fully protect marriage, while leaving the state legislatures free to make their own choices in ... |
| www.whitehouse.gov |
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| Marriage in Ancient Rome |
| Selected information plus a bibliography and internet links. |
| www.fortunecity.com |
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| Instructions to Obtain a Marriage Certificate Copy |
| This page provides instructions for obtaining a certified or uncertified copy of a Wisconsin marriage certificate. |
| www.dhfs.state.wi.us |
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| Judaism 101: Marriage |
| Learn about the Jewish concept of finding your soul mate, Jewish weddings, the process of acquiring a spouse, and the marital relationship. |
| www.jewfaq.org |
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| the marriage toolbox |
| www.marriagetools.com/ - Similar pages |
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| American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy |
| Professionally developed resources for practitioners and consumers of marriage and family therapy. Site also offers a search engine for finding a qualified ... |
| www.aamft.org |
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