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"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source"
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for divorce advice, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look...

How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon.
How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon. 1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or more. The big question is: who foots the bill? The 21st century has heralded a shift in the way these costs are handled. We have moved away from...

How to Prepare for Marriage
An Internet Question: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DIVORCES AND SEPARATIONS IN THE WORLD TODAY? 1) Corbin says: I believe this is because that most people really are not prepared for marriage to begin with. Two suggestions I would make concerning...

Living in LOVE : Remembering why you married
The kids are yelling, the dog is barking, and you just found out that your spouse forgot to do the one thing that you needed them to do today…again! This scenario may sound typical for your family, or your scenario could be worse. Maybe you and...

Single in a Couples' World
Advertising for St. Valentine’s Day seemed more relentless than ever this year. Everywhere I turned, I saw candy hearts or jewelry glistening in store displays. Radio announcers drummed the message home through constant promotions of dinner for...

 
Too Many Divorces

My oldest boy asked me something the other day about all the news regarding the high divorce rate. I told him there aren't too many divorces, there's too many marriages. Most people get married without really knowing who they are marrying or just how big of a commitment they are making. Heck, most people get married before they even know themselves very well. When the reality of it all hits them, they are either stuck in a bad marriage for life, or they get a divorce. Education is the solution.

Know yourself well before committing yourself to a life of marriage to another person. Are you really ready? Are you done playing the field? Do you still have wild oats to sow? Is your career or higher education going to get in the way of your ability to really build a life with someone else? What are your beliefs about marriage? Are you a high maintenance or low maintenance personality? Are you ready for kids? Do you even want kids? How exactly do you plan on raising them? Are you going to be a smothering parent or one who pushes the child into independence? Tough love or doting? What kind of financial lifestyle do you want? Can you achieve it before you have kids or should you wait and have kids later when you've set things up just so? How much intimacy do you want, need, prefer? How accommodating are you to other people's needs? Are you a team player or a bit self indulged? There are no right or wrong answers, you just need to have your eyes wide open for the sake of your future spouse. You need to be able to tell them straight up what it is you're offering. What exactly does 'let's get married' look like to you?

Know your partner before proposing or accepting their proposal. Are they really ready? Do you trust them not to cheat? What are their career aspirations? What are their spiritual beliefs and how important are they to them? What religion does your partner want to raise your children in? Are they high maintenance or low? Do you have what it takes to please them? Are they the type that will naturally please you without having to force yourselves to take care of each other? Do they want kids? If so, when? What kind of financial lifestyle do they want to raise a family in? Are they the type to want to just dive in and trust that everything will turn out okay or do they have a plan that they're going to want you to agree to and follow with them? What is their parenting style and beliefs? How much intimacy does your partner like? How well do they compromise with others? Again, there are no right or wrong answers, but you need to know these things about the other person before agreeing to marry them.

I heard a wonderful New Age definition of marriage recently. They said marriage is the act of agreeing to live out someone else's karma with them. So ask yourself, what's my partner's karma look like? What goes around comes around. What are they putting out into the world? And what kind of energy are you putting out into the world? Would it be fair to ask someone to join you in your karma? Be honest.

Young people really need to be


educated as to what marriage is. So many girls accept the first proposal that comes along assuming it's the best they'll ever get. I think the fear that we'll be alone makes us afraid to say no to someone who isn't necessarily the right partner for us. I suspect the boys proposing are doing the same thing. Our fear of being alone and our low self-esteems make us desperate to couple up without really checking out who we're going to be with and what it is we have to offer them. Add to that the dizzyingly wonderful high that first comes along with falling in love and it's almost more than folks can handle. It's only natural that we would want to stay on that high forever. When we're young, we think that the high will last forever if we get married. We're committing to the emotions, not to the cold hard facts of who we are, who they are, and what marriage together would really end up looking like. It's very difficult to do, and much easier said than done, but young kids need to take a step back and seriously look at these questions before moving forward with marriage commitments.

The adults I know who have gone through repeat marriages and divorces are all still making that same mistake. They're marrying the rush of emotions before doing their homework and finding out who they're actually in love with. We are in love with being in love. Beautiful stuff, but often a sure formula for divorce once reality hits. If we can learn how to take a step back and bring our heads in where our hearts have taken over, I think we could save ourselves a lot of heartache down the line. Yeah, we probably wouldn't get married as early in life, because it will take a while to find the right one. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. The older and wiser we are, the better the chances that we're going to be able to openly and honestly present ourselves to potential mates.

As a society, if we would just wait for the right one to come along, we'd see a huge drop in the divorce rate. There will always be weird unexpected things that happen, but overall marriage would actually have a fighting chance at being a happily ever after thing again. Choose wisely and hold it sacred when you do find that special someone. Know just how rare and special they are. And give thanks daily once you find them.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net.


Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net


 

Marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Marriages are generally publicly declared in the context of a wedding ceremony. ... The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice
Provides answers and insight to questions about infidelity, marriage counseling, and divorce. A free support forum is also available.
www.marriagebuilders.com
 
Christian Marriages - Families Christianity Free Newsletters Sex ...
A biweekly newsletter, published by Christianity Today, that provides information and articles of interest for couples.
www.christianitytoday.com
 
Marriage -- THE starting place for exploring marriage
Useful links, and weekly feature articles on making your marriage the best it can be. Chat room and bulletin board also onsite. From About.com.
marriage.about.com
 
Marriage - Wex
Today the underlying concept that marriage is a legal contract still remains ... Entering into a marriage changes the legal status of both parties and gives ...
www.law.cornell.edu
 
Smart Marriages
Clearinghouse: The latest EASY-TO-USE information to make your marriage or realtionship successful, sexy, and satisfying.
www.smartmarriages.com
 
University of the Family - Marriage Ministries International
Marriage is the foundation of the family. When the relationship is hurting, the family is hurting. Couples seek counseling and counseling and are often ...
www.marriage.org
 
USC-MSA Compendium of Muslim Texts
Marriage in Islam has aspects of both 'ibadah (worship) of Allah and mu'amalah ... The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion ...
www.usc.edu
 
Marriage Records - First Comes Love - Portland, Oregon
Tonight (Wed Nov 29) Marriage’s own old intern Cole Miller and Glacier Park’s Jessie Slavich are playing at Valentine’s (232 SW Ankeny) downtown at 8pm. ...
www.marriagerecs.com
 
National Marriage Project Home Page
Research, education, training and advocacy to strengthen the institution of marriage.
marriage.rutgers.edu
 
UKBMD - Births, Marriages, Deaths Indexes & Census transcriptions ...
UK BMD Births, Marriages and Deaths Indexes Online. Baptims, Burials, Monumental Inscriptions, Cemetry, Cemetries, Civil Registration, GRO Indexes, BMD, ...
www.ukbmd.org.uk
 
Welcome to Worldwide Marriage Encounter Home Page
Marriage Encounter weekends give married couples the tools to make Good marriages GREAT marriages! Why settle for a ho-hum relationship when you can have a ...
www.wwme.org
 
Alternatives to Marriage Project
Provides support and information to people who choose not to marry, are unable to marry, or are making decisions about marriage.
www.unmarried.org
 
Marriage Equality USA (index.shtml)
Group solely committed to securing the right to civil marriage for same-sex couples. Related facts, membership information, and chapters.
www.marriageequality.org
 
President Calls for Constitutional Amendment Protecting Marriage
President Bush on Tuesday said, "The amendment should fully protect marriage, while leaving the state legislatures free to make their own choices in ...
www.whitehouse.gov
 
Marriage in Ancient Rome
Selected information plus a bibliography and internet links.
www.fortunecity.com
 
Instructions to Obtain a Marriage Certificate Copy
This page provides instructions for obtaining a certified or uncertified copy of a Wisconsin marriage certificate.
www.dhfs.state.wi.us
 
Judaism 101: Marriage
Learn about the Jewish concept of finding your soul mate, Jewish weddings, the process of acquiring a spouse, and the marital relationship.
www.jewfaq.org
 
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American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Professionally developed resources for practitioners and consumers of marriage and family therapy. Site also offers a search engine for finding a qualified ...
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