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An Ounce Of Preparation Is Worth A Pound Of Cure
(NC)-Doesn't it always seem that you are out of bandages just when you need one the most - your new shoes have created massive blisters on your feet or you have just nicked yourself in the kitchen. With a bit of planning and well...
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ACCREDITATION: - Scholastic regimentation from the post WWII period has accelerated to the point that Canada won't let an Olympic figure skating medalist teach or coach young Canadians the errors and damages of the present system. She could earn...
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Access the Healing Power of Forgiveness
I will always remember the moment I first began to forgive my
father. It was early one bright Sunday morning in June and I was
driving to San Jose to teach an all day make-up class in Family
Therapy to a group of graduate counseling students. The day
before, I had hastily rented a book on tape about "letting go"
to keep me company during my four-hour round-trip commute. To my
surprise, the entire book was the author's poignant story of how
she had chosen to forgive her father, who sounded like a carbon
copy of my own dad.
As I listened to the writer describe her courageous journey
toward acceptance and healing, I became acutely aware of the
bitterness and pain in my heart that I had kept locked away for
decades. I felt my tears begin to wash away the anger, hurt, and
resentment I had carried for so long. I suddenly saw my
relationship with my father in a new way--through the eyes of my
Greater Self. Looking at the big picture of my life, I
recognized how my dad had been my most important teacher in this
lifetime: coping with his negative behavior towards me both
strengthened my sense of self and deepened my level of
compassion for those who are suffering. I also found my heart
softening to the wounded little boy my alcoholic father hid so
well from the world. Lifted by a profound sense of lightness and
grace, I could feel the power of forgiveness working its magic
in my very being. It wasn't until I arrived at the university
that I realized it was Father's Day.
Forgiveness is our most potent medicine for self-healing. The
light of forgiveness transforms everything it touches. When we
forgive, we open the door to miracles in our lives. To forgive
is to let go--to completely release any negative thoughts or
feelings you have been holding toward your self or another. You
say goodbye to hate, resentment, anger, hurt, guilt, and shame.
You stop living in the land of "if only" and start accepting
"what is" so you can move forward on your life's path.
Forgiveness is a powerful choice you make to be whole again.
It is not only in my own life that I have witnessed the power of
forgiveness. In my psychotherapy practice, I have delighted in
watching the blessings multiply after my clients make the
courageous choice to let go.
Unfortunately, many people do not avail themselves of the
healing power of forgiveness because of misconceptions they
hold. Some common myths about forgiveness are:
1. The other person has to do something before I can forgive him
or her. If you are waiting for another to recognize he or she
has
wronged you, you have placed the power to heal yourself in
someone else's hands. Take back the power to set yourself free
of the past by choosing to forgive regardless of whether or not
the other ever "sees the light."
2. If I forgive, I am saying what the other person did was okay.
Forgiveness does not send the message that the other's bad
behavior was okay. Rather, it is saying that you are not going
to continue to dwell on the past and carry the heavy feelings
associated with it. When we lighten our emotional load, we
refuse to allow the past to torment us in the present.
3. I must hold positive feelings for the person I am forgiving.
While forgiveness may help to transmute our pain and anger into
compassion for the other, it is not necessary to replace the
negative feelings you have had towards the other with positive
ones. Of primary importance is your willingness to release the
negative energy you have been holding towards a person or
situation.
4. Forgiveness is something I do for the other. Forgiveness is a
gift you give to yourself. It takes a lot of your energy to
continue to hold on to negative feelings toward another.
Forgiveness releases this energy so you can apply it to more
constructive and joyful pursuits.
5. If I forgive, I may get hurt again. You can let go of the
past while holding on to what an experience has taught you. To
forgive is to retain the wisdom while releasing the pain
associated with the life lesson.
6. I only need to forgive someone once. Forgiveness is a
process, so you may need to let go more than once. Should the
negative feelings reappear, be gentle with yourself, and choose
to release them one more time.
7. I need to understand why before I can forgive. Needing to
understand why is a trap that can snare you. Life is full of
mysteries. You may never understand the whys which underlie
another's behavior. Don't let that prevent you from releasing
the past and moving on with your life.
Your inner guidance is forever urging you to choose the path of
healing and joy. When you activate the power of forgiveness, you
release any negative hold that the past has had on you. Give
yourself the gift of forgiveness, and watch your life transform
as it becomes a more perfect reflection of the light that you
are.
About the author:
Eve Delunas, Ph.D., psychotherapist, author, speaker, trainer.
Breaking the Spell of the Past--Book and Guided Visualization CD
set. Sign up for a FREE monthly ezine called AWAKENINGS. Go to:
http://www.innervisionresources.com
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