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How To Have Gratitude
Yes, it might feel great to win the lottery. Money, houses, travel - these are wonderful, but not enough by themselves. You need the right frame of mind to fully enjoy life. You need the attitude of gratitude. Be Grateful Life is better when you...
Inducing Conciousness in Others
Over the last few years, I've clocked some serious hours on my meditation cushion. Sometimes, serenity evades me despite my best efforts. But at other times, I get a glimpse of liberation. I've come to understand that that state is present and...
Introduction to Flower Essences
This article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated. Flower Essences “The simple...
Neti Pot – You Want Me to Stick it Where?
I LOVE my Neti pot. It is the first thing I use each morning when I wake up and it is also the first thing I pack when I am going on a trip. As a matter of fact, I can’t imagine living without my Neti pot. For me, it is the difference between being...
Seven Tips in Planning a Fulfilling Holiday Experience
Copyright 2005 Willingness Works Holidays can activate powerful emotional charges, calling forth as much distress as joy. These "emotional charges" may be connected with past memories or with wishes we have in the present for ourselves, and...
 
Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 3

Do you want to put to rest the people and situations from your past so they do not interfere with your current and future relationships?

I bet you said yes. Who doesn't have something in their past they want to put to rest? Then let's talk about what action steps you can take to create the absence of past -- or completion -- in your life.

Below are a series of action steps. You'll want to pick a few and repeat them until you are complete with various people and circumstances from your past.

The time it takes to get to genuine completion will vary from person to person and situation to situation. For some it can come quickly. But sometimes completion happens over time: we may have to forgive, let go, or communicate to people in stages over a period of time.

Here are 10 action steps to put to rest the people and situations from your past. Use these action steps on the list of incompletions you created from last week's article.

1. Write Letters
Write letters to the person or people to whom you feel resentful, hurt, or still attached. Freely say everything you want to say and write as many letters as necessary to feel complete, each time going deeper inside to express your full emotions. Do not send these letters, but instead do something with them that leads you to feel you are getting rid of the feelings. Flush the letters down the toilet, burn them, bury them, etc.

2. Tell Your Story
Tell your story over and over to a trusted friend, advisor, or your journal. Make sure neither you nor the person listening edit or judge what you say or write, give advice, or make comments to dispute your feelings. Your job is to communicate and be listened to attentively.

3. Talk to the Right Person
Talk to the person with whom you have the incompletion. Do this only if you are sure the person will be able to listen to you in the same way as in Step 2 above. If you do have this
conversation, make sure not to blame or be rude, but talk about your feelings and the consequences in your life. If you have the opportunity, have as many conversations as you need to get complete.

4. Imagine Talking to the Right Person
If the conversation in Step 3 above is not feasible, have this conversation in your imagination. Give the conversation as much time and undivided attention as you would give a real conversation. This works best as a closed eye meditation/visualization.

5. Role Play
Ask a trusted friend to role-play the incomplete situation with you or imagine being back in the situation. Use this opportunity to say what you wish you had said. Repeat the role play again, but this time have the other person act in a way that would have avoided causing the incompletion. Repeat the process over time until you feel complete.

6. Reexamine
Reexamine the


situation from the vantage point of the present. How did you grow as a result? Was there a hidden gift in going through the experience? What did you learn from the situation? Repeat until you can feel gratitude toward the situation and the other person.

7. Own What Happened
Take responsibility for it and figure out how to prevent a similar situation from happening again. Answer the following questions at length in your journal: How did you contribute to the situation, specifically? What motivated you? What did you ignore or not communicate? How will you respond differently next time at each of the key junctures?

8. Create Completion by Understanding
Look at the other person's motivations. You do not have to approve or agree. Simply understand. Answer the following questions at length in your journal: What made his/her actions inevitable? Did he/she have a true choice? What would have had to be different in order for his/her actions to be different?

9. Repair the Damage or Loss
Actively repair the damage or loss. If something of yours was taken, replace it with an item just as good or better. If you were emotionally hurt, give yourself the kind of support,
acknowledgement, and love you wanted from the other person. Ask trusted others to provide you with the emotional support you needed and did not get.

10. Talk to the Spirit of the Person
Sometimes our relationships go so wrong and so much hurt is created that it is difficult to imagine the person giving us the understanding we need to get complete. In these cases, imagine having a conversation with the person's spirit, attentively listening while you say everything you need to say. Even when the person may not be able to hear you, their spirit always will. Repeat this process until you are complete.

These steps will help you put your past to rest. You will be ready to start working on attracting your ideal Mr. or Ms. Right -- figuring out and then breaking your relationship pattern.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

About the Author

Having coined the phrase "relationship coach," Master Certified Coach Rinatta Paries works with singles to help them attract their ideal relationship, and helps couples create more love and fulfillment in their existing relationships. Visit her web site at www.WhatItTakes.com or e-mail her at coach@WhatItTakes.com.

 

Learning Meditation Home Page
Introduction to the basics of meditation and the reduction of stress.
www.learningmeditation.com
 
Meditation Room
Choose freely and feel free to perform more than one meditation. ... Allow some time for your meditation. These meditations last from 3 - 10 minutes. ...
www.learningmeditation.com
 
Meditation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
An introduction to different traditions, forms, techniques, and benefits. Includes links to other resources.
en.wikipedia.org
 
World Wide Online Meditation Center
Contains colorful, clear, concise meditation instruction on a variety of meditation methods from various spiritual teachings, plus tranquil meditation tapes ...
www.meditationcenter.com
 
The Transcendental Meditation (TM) Program - Official website. How ...
Meditation validated by over 600 scientific studies. The best meditation against stress. Online video! Personal instruction and lifetime follow-up.
www.tm.org
 
Vipassana Meditation Website
Homepage of the organization which offers Vipassana Meditation courses as taught by SN Goenka.
www.dhamma.org
 
Welcome to Meditation Mount
Meditation training programs and group meditation as a service to humanity. Worldwide organization based in Ojai, California.
www.meditation.com
 
Guided meditations on mindfulness, peace, the 23rd Psalm, the way ...
Come into the present moment with this 10-minute mindfulness meditation narrated by ... Experience a flow of positive energy with this meditation on peace ...
www.beliefnet.com
 
Meditation Station Presented By The Meditation Society Of America
Meditation Society of America's web site. Dedicated to sharing meditation techniques and concepts from all traditions.
www.meditationsociety.com
 
Wildmind | Learn Meditation Online
Wildmind provides a complete guide to simple meditation techniques.
www.wildmind.org
 
Meditation
An article By Dr Tom J. Chalko explaining the process and stressing the need for a spiritual teacher.
www.thiaoouba.com
 
Free Learn to Meditate, online meditation - Meditation Australia.
Details of activities, events, and classes in Wollongong University, Australia. Also offer a free online Meditation course.
meditation.org.au
 
Meditation, Home, what is meditation, types of meditation ...
Meditation Meditation is an alternative therapy. It can be broadly classified under the mind-body medicine. More and more doctors are prescribing meditation ...
1stholistic.com
 
Sivananda Yoga - Meditation
Introduction to the Official Web site of the Internationa Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Centers. Lots of information on Jnana Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Raja Yoga, ...
www.sivananda.org
 
Stress Reducers: Articles index
yellow arrow button, Choose a Virtual Meditation Slide Show for Your ... yellow arrow button, Meditation and Relaxation: 20 Minutes A Day Can Make A ...
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Zen Mountain Monastery: Zen Meditation Instructions
Detailed instructions from Zen Mountain Monastery on how to practice Zen meditation.
www.mro.org
 
Meditation and concentration
meditation concentration ability. ... Online fire meditation use it and develop concentration ability; Online flash meditation look at the screen and ajust ...
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Siddha Yoga path - Gurumayi - Swami Muktananda founder
Under the guidance and teachings of Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, Siddha Yoga meditation students embrace the spiritual practices of yoga.
www.siddhayoga.org
 
Meditation Handbook
Survey of seven meditation techniques for beginners.
home.att.net
 
Healing Music|Meditation Music|Self Help products
Healing Products offers healing music for your Mind, Body & Soul at low prices. Use sound and music to heal and relax.
www.healingproducts.com
 
 

 
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